My friend just told me that my son has initiated some questionable sexual behavior with her son the other day and possibly other occasions in the recent past. She found them sitting in his bedroom across from each other on the floor with no pants on and when she asked what they were doing they said having a PP party. In the past she heard that and thought it meant they went pp together in the toilent at the same time. When she asked her son more details he said that my son had licked his butt and also kissed his pp. I'm extremely concerned. My husband and I are divorced and my son does switch each day going back and forth between us. He also has been having accidents pooping in his pants, and has shown some fears lately with making sure all the doors are locked at night and also at a party showed a fear of fire when candles were lit. All these things most likely are not directly related however I am most concerned with the proper approach to understanding and handling what is going on.
The particular behaviors you describe do not occur spontaneously to children. In some way your son and/or the other boys learned about such behaviors and are mimicking them. So this goes beyond nornal 'sex play' among between young children.
Your son is showing unsettled, disorganized behavior that invites intervention. You should arrange an evaluation with a pediatric mental health clinician.
Re: the custody arrangement - it is, frankly, a bad plan. Children should not be moving back and forth between households the way your son is. Children require stability and structure and consistency. Without it they are compromised. You and his other parent should take a look at this and figure out whose interests are being served: yours or your son's. Generally speaking, the best physical custody arrangements for young children are those that result in the child's going to sleep and waking up in the same bed every school day.
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