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Child Behavior (Expert Forum)
6 Year Old Exibiting SIgns of Seperation Anxiety
Answered by
Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D. - Child and Adolescent Psychotherapy, Family Therapy, Crisis Intervention
Harvard Vanguard Medical Associates
This forum is for questions and support regarding child behavior issues such: Child Discipline (behavior management), Normal Child Development, Parent-Child Communications, Social Development
6 Year Old Exibiting SIgns of Seperation Anxiety
by glenna, Aug 30, 2000 12:00AM
My son just started school (1st grade this week). He has never been a behavior problem child. He won the obedience award in school last year. However, Saturday, he threw his first ever temper tantrum when I wouldn't take him to the store with me. He has never wanted to go to bed alone. He wants someone else in the room until he falls asleep. He won't go to friends homes, even if he has been there before, without throwing a fit. "When will you come and get me?" "Are you going?" I am a stay home mom. I have never really left him. I have had to encourage him to do anything outside of the house, to the extent of almost forcing him. He comes home from school happy about his day. He always enjoys himself at friends homes. But his physical and emotional resistance to being left at school is concerning me, and I simply do not know the route to take. He also physically fought against going to the dentist this week. What do you suggest I do?
Doctor's Answer
by Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D., Aug 30, 2000 12:00AM
, Aug 30, 2000 12:00AM
Dear Glenna,
You are doing the right thing by seeing to it that your son does the normal things for children his age, even when he doesn't want to. If you allow him to refrain from normal activities, he will not acquire the skill and comfort to handle them.
Relative to his sleeping, adopt the same approach. That is, insist that he fall asleep on his own and in his own bed. Of course, do this in a supportive, encouraging way, but be firm and decisive about it. If you don't help him to do this, just as in any other activity he will be less likely to master it. He needs your support in learning this new behavior.
You are doing the right thing by seeing to it that your son does the normal things for children his age, even when he doesn't want to. If you allow him to refrain from normal activities, he will not acquire the skill and comfort to handle them.
Relative to his sleeping, adopt the same approach. That is, insist that he fall asleep on his own and in his own bed. Of course, do this in a supportive, encouraging way, but be firm and decisive about it. If you don't help him to do this, just as in any other activity he will be less likely to master it. He needs your support in learning this new behavior.
Member Comments (3)
by Cindy McAlister, Aug 31, 2000 12:00AM
My almost 7 yr. old son is the same way, I'm at my wit's end. I've tried demanding, begging pleading nothing works. I'm in the classroom 10-15 minutes after class has started and he follows me out of the room if I try to leave. He cries and clings to me and doesn't want me to leave, begs me to stay with him. Everything I try backfires on me!! I'm getting desperate. Please help me!!
by Penny, Sep 07, 2000 12:00AM
My daughter did this for some time and the teacher finally said leave at the prescribed time, be firm and forceful - a hug and a kiss "Mommy loves you" and say See you after school and leave. If he clings, gently pull him off. Don't tolerate cuz they know you'll give in. (You'll have a terrible day, but he'll stop sooner) Once she realized I wouldn't give in she stopped crying. 3 Days later she was running to her class with barely a wave.
