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Child Behavior (Expert Forum)
6 Year old strange behavior
Answered by
Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D. - Child and Adolescent Psychotherapy, Family Therapy, Crisis Intervention
Harvard Vanguard Medical Associates
This forum is for questions and support regarding child behavior issues such: Child Discipline (behavior management), Normal Child Development, Parent-Child Communications, Social Development
6 Year old strange behavior
by themachine28, Jun 09, 2004 12:00AM
My son just turned 6 a few days ago. He just finished Kindergarten at a Christian School. He has been acting very emotionally the last few months and more so the last few weeks. He's always been quick to cry though just as quick to stop. A few months ago it seemed to be getting worse. He would cry when we dropped him off at kindergarten some mornings, maybe once a week. A new twist, if it was rainy or even real cloudy he would cry when we would take him to school. The last few weeks it has gotton worse and I'm afraid it coincides with another event. He went to the YMCA program last summer and seemed to like it very well. He would get notes quite a bit about small behavioral problems like losing 5 minutes of pool time for talking or running a couple times a week, but nothing too bad at all. And a couple times a week he would cry for his sister and they would have to bring her to him. Our 9 year old daughter told us recently he got in trouble alot by the same teacher (who the YMCA has now released) who was very short and mean with alot of the kids.
Back to now, his kindergarten graduation was last week. We had told him after graduation he would go to YMCA for the summer and this disturbed h im. He cried during the graduation ceremony and the following and last 3 days of school he cried every morning.
He started telling us he didn't want to go to YMCA for the summer and when we would tell him he needed to go and he would have fun, he would cry. we had the discussion over dinner a few times and he would get upset and not eat. He said he didn't want to go because "he wasnt used to it anymore and the teacher was mean to him". We would tell him that teacher was gone and his friends missed him and that we would take him in the morning and if he didn't want to go, we would bring him back home (I work from home), still he didn't want to go.
Now, I don't want to read too much in to this but I think I need to mention it. I heard him ask my daughter the other day where she got dressed at when it was time to go to the pool and he has been extra shy in the last few months about getting undressed in front of anyone, even me or his mom. He will run around the house in boxer shorts only, but if anyone else pops in, he will hide in his room or get dressed until they leave.
YMCA stated two days ago, he has stayed home with me. I constantly run errands around town all day in my truck or am on the computer at home working. So for the last two days, he has sat in a truck 3/4 of the day and watches tv in his room the rest of the day while I'm working. He told us last night he would go to YMCA just to look around but then come home, but morning came and he changed his mind.
Please give me your advice on his behavior. It worries me he would rather sit in my truck or in his room all day while his sister is at YMCA swimming, going on field trips etc. I don't think it's healthy to sit at home but I don't want to go to a place that he seems afraid of either
Back to now, his kindergarten graduation was last week. We had told him after graduation he would go to YMCA for the summer and this disturbed h im. He cried during the graduation ceremony and the following and last 3 days of school he cried every morning.
He started telling us he didn't want to go to YMCA for the summer and when we would tell him he needed to go and he would have fun, he would cry. we had the discussion over dinner a few times and he would get upset and not eat. He said he didn't want to go because "he wasnt used to it anymore and the teacher was mean to him". We would tell him that teacher was gone and his friends missed him and that we would take him in the morning and if he didn't want to go, we would bring him back home (I work from home), still he didn't want to go.
Now, I don't want to read too much in to this but I think I need to mention it. I heard him ask my daughter the other day where she got dressed at when it was time to go to the pool and he has been extra shy in the last few months about getting undressed in front of anyone, even me or his mom. He will run around the house in boxer shorts only, but if anyone else pops in, he will hide in his room or get dressed until they leave.
YMCA stated two days ago, he has stayed home with me. I constantly run errands around town all day in my truck or am on the computer at home working. So for the last two days, he has sat in a truck 3/4 of the day and watches tv in his room the rest of the day while I'm working. He told us last night he would go to YMCA just to look around but then come home, but morning came and he changed his mind.
Please give me your advice on his behavior. It worries me he would rather sit in my truck or in his room all day while his sister is at YMCA swimming, going on field trips etc. I don't think it's healthy to sit at home but I don't want to go to a place that he seems afraid of either
Doctor's Answer
by Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D., Jun 09, 2004 12:00AM
, Jun 09, 2004 12:00AM
It is very normal for your son to be worried about going to a place he associated with problems. Now, you can talk and talk with him, but that will not really reassure him - he recalls his experiences. The only way for him to come to some different conclusions is for him to experience a different reality by going to the program. You will be helping him by insisting that he go, in spite of his reservations. His behavior really isn't strange - it's very understandable, given what he experienced. But you'll have to bite the bullet and make him go. He's too young to be making this decision.
Which is to go ahead with the Y program. No six year old needs to spend so much time in the car or in front of TV/computer. I do not believe he should be able to control this decision, at this age.
Of course, you should talk to him privately about the disrobing issues and try to see what his thoughts/fears may be, but in the end...he should be with other children in a play environment instead of isolation in the car or elsewhere.
Perhaps the Y can help with ideas about him changing privately, too, if that is his concern.
Good luck.