6 year is a nightmare!

[krazyj]

My grandson is 6, he's been on adderall (adderrall) and now ritalin, since he was 3.  He throws things, has temper tantrums, hits, fights, kicks, bites, wipes feces on the wall, starts fires, steals, lies, does not listen at all. He writes on the walls, jumps up and down on our vehicles, has thrown his psp so it doesnt work, torn up his playstation 2, and anything else he's ever been given.  He blames everything on his 4 yr old sister.  He has no friends at school or anywhere.  He is in first grade and makes F in behavior every day.  He still sucks his thumb.  His mom was on crack until she found out she was pregnant, which was end of 3rd month.  His parents spank him constantly.  They are always screaming and beating him for something, which he does do a lot of terrible things.  They have rewarded him for good behavior but that is very rare.  No one can stand to be around him. He won't listen to anyone and I tell his parents not to spank, they have made him this aggressive over the last four years with all these spankings, but they say that is not true, if they don't spank him, he is even worse they say.  I am so worried about him.  His 4 year old sister says she wants to die, does some bad behaviors, and beats her head against the wall any time she is told no or is in trouble. She needs help too.  Psychiatrist said my grandson has adhd, (he has been seeing one since he was 3), the school tested him and said he has severe emotional problems and mood disorder.  My granddaughter has never been seen by psychiatrist.  I don't know what to do, they tell me to stay out of it, but my heart just can't take my grandkids having so many problems.  Help me please someone!!!!!!!

[jd1419]

If they are beating their children and are abusing them in any way--you need to call social services--and I beleive you can do this with out giving your name.  These children need help and it sounds like the parents also need help--If they were doing drugs before hand--can they be back on them and not paying any attention to the children....Get someone to step in NOW before it is to late for everyone involved.

[mommy2anangel816]

Sounds like you need to call CPS... I know it will be really hard, but you love your grandchildren and it really is the right thing to do.  There is a big difference also between spankings and frequent beatings.  There are very specific criteria for what a spanking can involve and it varies from state to state.  In most states it is a single strike to the butt, or hand.  

I can understand the fustration his parents are feeling.  My four year old son has ADHD ODD and a Mild Mood Disorder, but beating a child with those disorders will only make thier behaviors worse.  It also sounds like there is more going on at home than what you are seeing.  Please do everyone a favor and call CPS.  

[rebbecca]

Have you thought about stepping in and taking the grandchildren yourself???? I feel so sorry for them. You need to call CPS before one of them get seriously hurt or something worse happens.
And mommy2 is right you never beat a child with a mood disorder or adhd. It makes them so much worst. You loved them even more because of their problems because they cant help it. And if mom is still doing drugs the kids have know business being in the home at all. It is a terrible thing to say but some people should never had kids and if they should give them up to a loving and care home.
By the way my son is 8 and he is also adhd, odd and mood disorder.
Good Luck to you and your little ones.

[krazyj]

I wish i could take all of my grandchildren but I am bipolar and temporarily living with my daughter and 3 grandchildren.  It's very tough.  I can barely keep myself together with all the stress in this house.  I don't think CPS will do anything about frequent spankings if they arent leaving bruises.  Its the idea he comes home with an F everyday in behavior, and his mom screams "go to your room, you wont listen, thats why you make F's."  His step dad does too. They tell the kids to stay upstairs all the time and they are in their room writing on the walls, or tearing up something because they keep them up here all the time.  I was told to stay out of it, it is their children and i am making it worse when they spank him because i am standing there telling them not to.  My daughter has not gotten back on crack, she is getting her masters degree, and works part time.  She does take some pain pills and valium. She says she is too stressed to function without them.  He is just so hyper and I normally wouldnt say this , but he is really mean a lot of times. He kicks dogs, punches his sister, just does mean things for no reason at all.  She has been in Houston now for 4 months and still hasnt found him a new psychiatrist.  She says she hasnt got the time yet.  And the ones she called do not see patients as young as him.  OH, and the step dad has never done drugs.  They just think that spankings are going to help him and I dont see how they are so blind to see he just keeps getting worse.  They need some parenting classes and he needs a new doctor, probably new tests ran on him, and different meds along with some TLC.  I would definitely take him if there was any way possible I could handle him.  The first 2 years of his life I was not so ill and I did have him a lot.  They lived with me and it just wasnt this bad.  It has turned into a nightmare.  I did find them a new pediatrician and dentist and she took the kids for checkups.  I didnt go, but the pediatrician just gave her more ritalin until she could find a psychiatrist.  I am going to start calling for a psychiatrist tomorrow.  I'm sure there are some in Houston, that take medicaid, because he is on disability and that is all the insurance he has.  If anyone has any other suggestions please post them asap.  Thanks for everyones help.  

[rebbecca]

His mother is mentally abusing him and yes CPS will do something about it. A child shouldnt be hit all the time and them doing that is only making them worst. I only way they can get thier parents attention is to be bad and that is very sad. Do you think that she may be abusing the meds that she is taking? If she has been there for 4 months and hasnt got him help that is abuse also.
Think about it why should he behave himself, his parents dont give a **** about him if they did he would have a therpist right now and wouldnt be going though what he is. Yes they do see childern his age because my son has had one since he has been 3. Please Please do more then just calling for a new psychiatrist. The best thing for the children is to get them the **** way from their parent.
Good Luck

[RockRose]

Rebbecca,  if he doesn't have any marks or bruises on his body,   it's unlikely CPS will do anything.  

This is such a difficult situation.  Foster care is stretched to the maximum,  and if you have this boy who is totally intolerable to be around but yet he has no visable signs of abuse - no bruises,  no marks at all,  and he's a normal healthy weight,  what is CPS to do?

This child sounds like he's inherited mental illness,  and gestational drug abuse,  and has a difficult home situation.  A child who is this difficult to be around is hard to place in foster care,  especially if there aren't any physical signs of abuse.  

This is awful,  and it sounds like even if he were placed in the best home possible he is irrecoverable with his genetic background and early childhood experience.

[rebbecca]

been there done that I have a nut case for a stepmom and she said and did just about everything to get my son and it didnt work but cps was involved because of her report. So dont go there with me

[rebbecca]

if he is getting hit on a daily bases why wouldnt there be a mark, think about it. All this poor little boy wants is to be care for , loved and have some attention and it will go a long way!!

[RockRose]

Rebbecca,  I don't know what "don't go there with me" means when you say it didn't work but CPS was involved.

Yes,  CPS wlll get involved with a report.  

They won't take a child with no bruises,  as they didn't take your son.

I'm not trying to wage war with you.  Your experience with CPS is like mine - but on the opposite side of the issue.  I was trying to report an abused child who had no outward bruises,  you were trying to protect your son with no abuse.

In each case,  CPS left.  

I'm not fighting you.

[RockRose]

Rebecca,  she said there were no bruises.  Think about it yourself.  I don't know how to react either,  this could be anything,  she states there are not bruises.  

Sometimes on the internet  you have to read every single word.  

[rebbecca]

these post is not about you so please stop typing me.............thank you

[RockRose]

I thought when you said when you questoned whether there would be a mark,  you were responding to me.

I will gladly stop responding to you,  Rebecca.

You kind of have two distinct personalities.  I don't like either one.

[mommyinarabia]

Hi, I am sorry to hear about the unfortunate situation.  I agree with the others.  There needs to be some intervention.  A professional should assess the situation at the home and the family members in order to make a sound decision.  THe best case scenario would be to get the parents help, llike major counseling and parent education classes as well as then getting BOTH of the children special care.  It could and should take months of intervention and help to get this household in order.  It is not necessary to uproot the children if the parents are willing and able to change.  I think you should contact CPS and ask them if they can help or direct you to a place that can.  It won't hurt to call them maybe they can even suggest some good psychiatrists...its all social service related.  You said the step-father never did drugs but is he a drinker???  The two children are the ones suffering the most....you are the grandmother but YOU CAN HELP.

[HotMommA37]

Oh my goodness, my heart goes out to you Krazyj and all that you have to endure.  My 9 year old step daughter has a lot of mental problems!!!! We are so lost its horrible!!! She has been taking medication since she was 3 years old. She has taken every ADHD medicine there is out there. Now she is bipolar...so they think!  So they had  her on Concerta, Risperdal and Ligmital (mood stabalizer), those are not working.  So now he took her off of the ADHD meds and Risperdal and has her on a medicine for depression and her mood stabalizer. She is horrible.  She  used to do the same things your grandson does.  She would throw fits, wipe her poop on the walls, stand up and pee on her bed.  She tears and breaks everything up.  She says mean and hateful things to everyone.  She whispers under her breathe.  She has an "I don't care" attitude. She says she doesn't want to go to school, she doesn't want to act her age.   She is just terrible!! She smiles when you get on to her for something. We used to spank her all the time but it gets to where you feel like your beating your kid.....but YOUR NOT!  There is a HUGE difference in spanking and beating!!!  My daugther goes to psychologist and a therapist....her therapist says you can't let these children with mental disorders do what they want because you think they are sick.  They still need boundaries and disapline.  We have taken everything out of her room....we have spanked her...put her time out (which is a waist of time). NOTHING works with her!!!! She is doing so horrible in school.  She has already been kicked out of her other school.  They couldn't handle her...no one can.  The doctors just throw meds at her and hope they work.  I hate it...I hate that she has to take medicine. I feel for you....you really need to get the whole family in for counseling or therapy.  It sounds like it would do you all good.  God bless you Krazyj