My son is 6 and in grade 1. Recently he was enrolled in full-time daycare and a new school so that I, his Mom, could return to work full-time. The first week at his new school was uneventful but for the last three weeks on a daily basis my son is getting in trouble and now is on an informal suspension.
During class he is fine, bright, participating, reading well and overall "sweet" as the teacher indicated however at lunch and recess, the two non-structured times, my son is acting out. Initially it was hitting, kicking pushing whatsoever but not in an aggressive form but more as a form of play in his eyes. The situation escalated quickly and we arranged for him to return to the daycare for lunchtime where the routine was more structured however we are still having problems at recess. The problems now include inappropriate words sex, pulling his pants down, licking a girl after instructing a friend to hold down the girl etc. He is aware that this behaviour is unacceptable and is genuinely feeling bad for doing this but to paraphrase my son "my brain can't control my hands". He has been having nightmares and has verbally indicated that he misses his old friends and old school. At daycare he is fine, well mannered, attentive and overall a good child.
I am at a loss for words and don't know what to do next. I have contacted a group that provides assistance with social and behavioural problems but I am not sure where to go from here. We are torn between removing him from this school and returning him to his previous school while we address the issues at hand. It must be said that on a much smaller scale the hitting and pushing was a minor problem at the other school but in no way a major concern of his teacher.
You have already taken an important step via your contacting the specialized group. He clearly requires a high degree of structure in the more unstructured parts of the school day, so the program that can offer him that will likely be the better choice. The back and forth isn't helpful, but it is important to settle him into the program that offers the best availability of external structure to help him contain his impulses. Hopefully what you are witnessing is a developmental unevenness in impulse control that will abate as he matures.
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