6 year old boy and 5 year old girl licking privates

On new year's day I had my 6 and 8 year old nephews over, and left them with my 5 year old daughter playing with the train set for 15 mins while I put my younger kids to bed (during the day).

When I came out my 5 year old daughter and her 6 year old cousin weren't there.  I asked the 8 year old boy where they were and he said playing chasey or something.

I found the two of them in the toilet with the door locked, and I told them to come out.  I asked them what they were doing and the 6 year old was quiet, and my daughter started crying and said they were doing the thing that got them in trouble before.  I thought the thing was, a few months ago she was staying with her Dad (who lives with his parents and his sister and the 2 cousins), and the 3 of them were caught urinating in a bucket.

I kept asking what they were doing, and my daughter told her 6yo cousin to tell me.  I asked him and he said "kiss willy".. I asked what he meant and turned out he licked her privates and she licked his.

I asked the details of it, and it was one lick.  No lips were involved and he only licked the outside on her skin.

I spoke to my daughter later and she told me that they'd done it before at the time they were all urinating in the bucket.  I asked if the 8yo did it too and she said he was too scared to "play".  So I feel as though he's old enough not to get involved, but he doesn't tell an adult what's happening.

I talked with my cousin about it today and she suggested that possibly the 6yo is being abused by his Mum's boyfriend, and the 8yo is keeping quiet about it.  or if possibly the 8yo suggested that the two of them do it, because he's always instigated things.. for example: go take the lollies out of the cupboad.. and he bosses them around when they're playing together

The boyfriend's Dad died when he was young and his Mother has had numerous boyfriends, so he was possibly subjected to child abuse.

I have looked at a few old posts on different websites, regarding if it's just natural curiosity or not, but I think using the tongue it going a bit far.  Then again it could have just been a bunch of giggles and did a quick lick then they stopped.  Like a dare.  But it could escalate to other things.

For the time being I'm going to try to talk to the kids and let them know they can trust me or tell a trusted adult.  I am already dealing with Child Protection as my other daughter was underweight from a heart condition, so will mention it to them, and try to sus out if this boyfriend is up to anything...

I have tried my hardest to keep communication open with my daughter, and let her know that her privates are for her only, and other people are for them only, and it just made me feel sick to find out that they were doing that.

She told me she wanted to do it so wasn't forced, but maybe coaxed or encouraged, as she said "game".. maybe she thinks it is a game.  Then again she felt ahsamed after and didn't want to tell me and cried.

She has also been not wanting to go to her Dad's house, (remember everyone else lives there too), she says it's because the dog jumps up on her, but also says she loves Mummy more than Daddy.  He has been very impatient and emotionally abusing me in front of her, swearing etc.  so could be that, and she's acting out..

In August/September, I spent 5 weeks at the hospital with my younger daughter, so my 5yo spent that time at the house, my 5yo was also sick for 3 weeks and after that because withdrawn, didn't want to go to school, daycare, ballet, just wanted mummy.  so could be that she has separation anxiety, or maybe something happened?

either way, for her to not want to go there.. something's up.

anyway sorry for the long question but just wanting people opinions on what's going on and what I should do.  Thanks a lot.

[concerned4mykids]

p.s. I forgot to write that the Mum's boyfriend lives there too.

and also later on the 8yo told me he did know they were in the toilet but at the time of asking him he said playing chasey or something

[Jaz1989]

no 6 or 8 year old does that. In my honest op one or both of thesee children are being molesated. either being actually raped or just touched or licking an adluts private parts. or an adlut making the children watch as a sexual act is going on

[RockRose]

Here's my experience,  from raising 3 boys and being around a LOT of kids.

The 8 year old is blameless.  He's virtually the same age as the other kids,  and -rightfully so - to just extricate himself and not be involved in misbehavior.  Also,  he can't be expected to supervise and report on other children his age.  He's a kid too.

The 5 year old girl and 6 year old boy shouldn't be left unattended.  They continue to experiment sexually,  and enough is enough.  In the future.  Just make sure they are supervised.

This will pass.  The two of them have a sexual curiosity that isn't shared by the 8 year old - and the adults need to nip this in the bud.

Best wishes.

[RockRose]

Oops,  the second paragraph should read "He's virtually the same age as the other kids and has learned - rightfully so - to just extricate himself and not be involved in misbehavior.