6 year old doesn't want to poop

[natesmom616]

I hope that I'm in the correct forum for this.  I have a 6 year old (7) in June of this year who does not like to poop.  He was potty trained fairly quickly when younger and had no real problems.  A few years ago, I noticed that he would go for days without having a bowel movement.  When I'd ask him about it, he'd tell me that he didn't have to go, though it was obvious that he did and was holding it in. If he was standing, he'd run to a chair or the floor and sit down and rock or shake his legs or something.  I took him to his pediatrician who thought that possibly he'd had a very large bowel movement at one time and it caused some pain. (He is rather small. At almost 7 yrs of age, he is in a size 4)He believed maybe this made my son apprehensive about going for fear of the pain.  He put him on a bulk stool softener.  This did help him go more often, but only because he can only "hold it" for so long.  For a little while it got better.  He hasn't been on the softener for over a year and half.  However, this is still a problem.  I can tell when he has to go, though he will deny it every time.  I've tried everything from trying to explain how it can hurt his body to hold it in, not allowing him to go places if he hasn't gone and I know he has to go, and even rewards for going. On the rare occasion that he does go without holding it, I'm always quick to tell him how proud I am that he isn't holding it in.  Every time he goes, I ask him if it causes him pain and he says no.  He says that he doesn't like the way it feels.  I've explained that he will have to poop for the rest of his life, regardless of if he doesn't like the feel of it.  He's never constipated and his stools always seem soft, though formed.
Then, last week, he said that when he goes, it hurts his stomach.  At first I thought maybe this was his stomach cramping up when he has a bowel movement.  But I asked him to show me where it hurt and he pointed to his lower abdomen and then also pointed up higher in the center of his torso.  
Is this most likely a psychological issue?  Or can it be medical.  It's not that he doesn't HAVE to go.  By his behavior, I would guess that he would have a bowel movement every other day at the very least.  The urge to go is there, he just holds it and holds it and holds it.  If I wasn't watching, he'd hold it for up to 5 or 6 days.  Could this be a medical issue?   Should I take him to a specialists?  I'm at a loss as to what to do.  Any suggestions or comments are appreciated.  

[Sandman2]

   I am guessing that he has gas in his stomach which makes it distend and is uncomfortable for him.  Does he burp when you put the pressure on his stomach?  If so, you might want to try an over the counter measure like Gas X which is just Simethicone.       https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simethicone

[CareBare30]

Does anyones child like pressure on their stomache. It sounds funny but my son always asks me for my feet at night begore going to bed so he can put pressure on his tummy by laying on my feet.

[CareBare30]

My son has the same problem. Have you considered getting him tested for celiac disease. I probably spelt that wrong. Weir doing the test on my son. Hope this os helpful. Good luck

[LAndrews2010]

Trust me if you give her a full cap of merolax daily she will go, my sister has the same issue with her grandson...well had until I told her you can't change the dose until he has diarrhea, then give him a day off but sooner or later he's going to realize it don't hurt anymore.

[anothermomsjourney]

Hello,

I too have struggled with my 9yrold boy and his poo poo issues. He holds it in,  he also refuses to sit on toilet, and we've tried everything.  Two weeks ago we sat for 7 hoursat the emergency room because he wouldn't go for at least 6 days  and began refusing to eat or drink anything.  I had no idea what else to do. Every friend or family member ensured to let me know their kids never faced this problem, or that they tried one thing and poof magically child would go poop just fine.  Well reading your story along with every reply since 2008 it's very obvious there's tons of us mom's out there. Of course at ER they ran blood tests,  they did xray on abdomen and off course gave him an IV to re hydrate him.  Sent me home with prescription for miralax and suppositories. The Dr. Stated there was no bowl obstruction and also said of my son had gas I guess that is a clue that there isn't a blockage so just helpful hint. He said passing gas is a good sign and to try the miralax.  

So two weeks later and I just finished a 3 day stretch of the worst time with this issue. My son had diarrhea until last night produced ginormous bowel movement. So quite frankly trip to dr, Emergency room, and urgent care doesn't help,  honestly I'm believing now after reading these posts that everything will just work itself out, it has to.  

We have struggled with this for 4 years (painful BM, refuse to go, holding #2 in, long times between BMs, etc...) and I'm praying it will soon be over and my 9yr old boy can peacefully poop like he deserves!  


I wanted to share our story to maybe help ease that worry. Is the abdominal pain only with in hour after eating like as food is digesting? Another question for ya is pain in tummy sharp,  aching, burning?  I know it's hard to find out with kids but may help cause medical professionals are all about guessing game and relating it to other patients or who they have an $account with.
Has your child had flatulence regularly as well? Getting gas out helps us know theres not obstruction. (Ps not  100% on info just diagnostic techniques I've experienced) any other measure such as CT scan can help diagnose children with abdominal pain immediately by the risks of radiation involved with CT scan is dangerous.  (Raises my questions about the dangers of my own CTscan and then months later having thyroid nodules hm...)that's whole other topic.

Anyway I know it's a struggle but knowing others face sale thing makes me feel a bit more at ease with my frustration and feeling like a failure. I felt it was my fault and it was something i wasnt doing right of course,  a lot of that goes to ppl around me who are concerned about my son but don't realize as his mom I'm doing everything in my power to ensure he's healthy, safe,  and well taken care of.  Alot of family don't realize their concerns come of as if they are questioning my parenting skills or my love for my son.  I would rather him not be in pain and going through this, but we have reasons for these struggles. We may not know ever what each obstacle was for and all I need to remember it could help someone else struggling too.

I hope I've helped in even a small way,  I also would love to connect to any parents struggling with this issue. It's difficult and we can help support one another!  My name is Krystle and my e Addy is anothermomsjourney at g mail. .....

Thanks you to the original author and everyone to reply.  This has helped me so much.

Krystle

[CareBare30]

Did your child get tested for celiac disease? Weir doing the test on my son to see if thats the problem.

[momtoalovelyboy]

Thank you so much for sharing your story.  I truly appreciate it.  I'm a mother of a 6 year old boy and the description of your problem with your son describes our situation very acutely, specially the abdomen pain that nobody else seemed to mention.  There is one exception.  He used to go very regularly until he was 5 and then we started going every other day.  His problem only started a few months ago (Jan '15) after he got a bout of gastro flu (3rd time during the school year).  We know that the fact that his water intake has reduced since starting kindergarten hasn't helped going regular.  I wouldn't be worried if the abdomen pain would get resolved after a bowel movement but my worry is that he always has pain.  He used to complain about it a lot but not much now after seeing the pediatrician and I fear that he thinks there is no point in mentioning it since we are told there is nothing to be done.  We've been sitting on the potty every night until he poops every night and I've been giving him a mixture of raisin+date+prune+fig+prune_juice (two teaspoons daily).  He doesn't have the very painful instances that would make him cry but he says the pain is always there.  We have been told not to ask him about the pain and just wait to see if he complains. We've seen his pediatrician after his GP prescribed him "Lax A Day" at 17 mg/day which ended up giving him rectal bleeding and scaring him (and us) immensely (I'm switching his GP).  The next step would be to do an endoscopy but his pediatrician is saying it's not necessary since he is pretty healthy, active kid otherwise.  This is not stopping his normal routine.  He doesn't like playing soccer but I don't think it's because of this.  He's just a very conservative kid and yes, can get anxious and frustrated.  We've been trying to find the food group that give him a lot of gas and abdomen pain and it seems that cucumbers and restaurant pasta have the worst effect on him.  I intend to test him for food sensitivity but my question to you is did you find any cause/cure for the abdomen pain?  

[goawaybird]

Hi.  I would definitely have it checked, it might be a medical issue. It might even be a mild internal birth defect.  One of my children started holding in like that when she was four until she was terribly constipated but we solved it with a permanent high-fibre diet; but in his case I think it's been carrying on so long it might even have caused an obstruction.  I'd take him to see a pediatric enterologist.

Maybe one should approach the whole thing from a medical angle in any case as it would also help him not be so embarrassed about it.  Hope his friends don't know. Kids at 7 are socially terribly sensitive.

[whatevssss]

I'm 20 years old. I still have this problem occasionally. And I feel helpless when it happens. For me it is totally psychological. I know it. I know that its is worse if I withhold. I know it will hurt much more later, but I can't help it. I don't like pooping, it scares me. I don't really know why..


I can't really help you with solving this problem as I still have it and have had it since childhood. My mom also did the charts, rewards systems, homeopathy, acupuncture, laxatives, everything. She was very supporting, never got angry at me for this problem.

I can only suggest you the same.
It is very frustrating for the child because it's not really voluntary. You just can't let go. It hurts, it's unpleasant, it's scary. Don't add up your frustration to your child's.

[scarlett71]

my little girl is 6 now and has suffered with this since 2 I no how you feel she holds on for 14 days and then ends up in aldery hey for a clear out she has been on movicol utter rubbish is under 2 peaditricians had a biopsy on her bowel and counter tablets to see how many she got rid of which was none she is on sodium picosulfate now daily and enima every other day still no joy it has serious effects on her education and social life she is due back to have a dye test to see if her bowel is damaged I am so angry that they have let it go on so long I thought it was just me and scarlett living this nitemare glad I found this site and well done to all you mums I no how hard it is if no one in your family has been threw this good luck everyone

[harrysmum13]

Wow... I'm so glad I've finally found others in the same boat as me!!  I too have been struggling with my 4 1/2 year old son for the past 2 years.  He refuses to poo, and holds it for up to a week until he eventually has no other choice but to go.  We have had him at doctors and paediatricians so many times but their only solution is to put him on Movicol to treat his constipation.  The trouble is, its not bloody constipation - he can poo ok, he just chooses to hold it in!  I find the movicol also makes his poo too runny and can't get it to the 'right' consistency.  This whole issue has completely taken over our family life and has at times been hell.  My son constantly has overflow and can have to change him 3-4 times a day sometimes.  I now at 4 make him clean himself up in the hope that it will make the whole clean up process really unpleasant for him and that he will see the toilet as a much better place to poo.  I agree that it is completely psychological which I feel all the doctors/paeds are overlooking - they just say we have to retrain his bowel etc.... Well that's all well and good, but he CHOOSES to hold on to the poo, so I feel like I have to work on his mindset as well as the medical side.  I also resonated with the thought that it could be OCD, meaning that he knows he should poo in the toilet but he is so used to holding on and lying around with the sore tummy that that is all he knows now and is comfortable doing.  I have been doing a bit of research on hypnotists for children - has anyone gone down this path???  I feel like if the holding on is an 'addiction' just like smoking or over eating would be say to an adult perhaps I would be able to alter his response to it through hypnotherapy.  Has anyone any thoughts on this, or had any other therapy or approach work for their child.  Sometimes I feel like this whole issue is ripping our family apart through frustration especially family and friends who constantly badger us with 'what are you doing about it' and 'have you fixed him yet'

[katkatz]

Like everyone else here....thank you so much for talking about this.  On one hand I am so happy and relieved to see that I am not the only one dealing with this.  On the other, it does make me sad to realize that it is probably not going to get better any time soon.

My son is 5 1/2...we've been dealing with him holding his poop since he was 2 1/2.  We've tried everything from bribing, punishing, rewarding, basically promising him the world! Nothing works.  We took him to a pedi gastro in NYC that had us give him an enema and miralax.  He still takes a cap of miralax a day.  It has gotten better that it is not so hard but still holds it in for days.  One thing with my son is that he has NEVER complained of stomach aches!  Only complaint of pain was when the poop was so hard coming out.  After the enema he was doing better but about a week or so later he went back to holding in.  What also makes it so frustrating for us is that we also have a 4 year old daughter who practically potty trained herself!  She even tells my son that he stinks and won't let him in her room.  So it really is affecting the whole house.

After reading what everyone has said on here I came to a decision.....I am no longer going to bribe, punish, promise the world.  I am going to just try my best to deal with it, praise him when he goes and just be as calm as I can when I have to change him 5 times a day.  

[stefygee]

My son has had this same problem since he was 5 yrs old he is now 10. \he is diagnosed with PANDAS which main symptom is OCD. It took us 4 years before we figured out it was a compulsion. He is on daily Miralax, which forces him to go,he  ended up stretching his stomach lining so we had no choice but to do the daily laxative :(otherwise he would not be going poo at all. Hope this helps

[Sillyboy111]

I have really loved reading the progress that your son has made.  I have a boy that is almost 8 and we have been dealing with this since he was 3.  He is much better now and usually goes every other day.  If he waits longer than this it becomes an issue with tempermant.  I wanted to see if you had any issues with your son not wanting to participate in sport activities as a result of this.  Sometimes he runs off the field in the middle of the game.  He says that he's confused and doesn't know where the coach wants him to stand.   This might be the case but I think other things are going on - like he has to poop.  I know that he can't run when he's holding it and his stomach hurt so sometimes he won't even get on the field when we arrive.  I'm just curious if you have experienced similar scenerios.  Thanks again!

[susanholly72]

Wow, As many have said, so glad I am not the only one! My 6 year has the same history, had a bad bowel movement at 3 and holds it. It is better, but I have to hold his pinky then he goes no problem. But will not go unless he is with one us "pinky" holders are there. Today he had a poop explosion in kindergarten and I was mad, sad, frustrated. I told him no more pinky and he had to learn to go by himself. But he got scared and held the poo again. Should I continue to hold his pinky because that is better than his holding his poop and constipating?  

[car44336]

I have been to a pediatrician for my son who has had constipation issues since 18mths old, he is now 4 yrs. The reason for the leaking poo, is because he is so blocked with hard poo, (sometimes this can get so chronic it backs up & their inflated bowel can fill their tummy, therefore lack of hunger & further fear of B.movement) and soft bits of stool are escaping around the edges of the hard stool. He is probably experiencing this yukky leaking, which he can't feel, its just being forced out. Thing to remember is - it's not his fault, he doesn't want this either, he has just built up such a fear.
It can all start with one incident of dehydration. Then its game on, they are pretty good at holding & then they figure out they get more attention for holding than passing a movement.
We used parachoc, liquid parafin, this gets the stools moving, a softener, literally softens the stools in the bowel making them softer to pass. The catch is Stool softeners can make it easier to hold it in, leaving the bowl over inflated with soft poo and as we know kids will do the minimum movement possible when they do go, its just the tip of the iceberg. You need to get the bowel back to a normal size, with something like parachoc, this is more like a bowel lubricant & just helps the movements happen & the bowel to get back to normal size. Its a tablespoon a day kinda thing and its a long term project to get the bowel back to normal size. Like a year or so! It's not a fun ride, and kids remember how to hold for years to come, so you can have good weeks and difficult weeks. Esp. as when it does occur, it reminds you of a frustrating time. stay cool, & remind em - this is what we're doing.

[specialmom]

My son has had horrible constipation and something that really helped us is simply giving him grape juice to drink every day as well as increasing his water and fruit intake.  good luck.  It really can be painful for these little guys.  

[shibby080]

Hi there,

Thanks for the detailed information. Very much appreciated and very informative.

My son is now 6 and has been struggling to poop for around 3 years, he seems very lazy as though he is too busy 'Playing with his toys/games etc' to sit still for 5 minutes to go to the toilet. It is becoming very frustrating for both myself and my wife, we are at a loose end as to what we can do with him? Every day we can smell him as he has marks in his pants as he doesn't go to the toilet, he doesn't wipe himself clear or anything.

He say's he doesn't know how to poop and it hurts him. He has been to the doctor several times as we were worried that he could hurt himself internally with this issue. However, the doctor only gave him some kind of laxative which just made the stool even more loose. This is becoming highly frustrating as I seem to spend 30+ minutes daily cleaning him up.

It is getting difficult to take him to friends etc as we can smell him and worried that they will too. We don't want him getting bullied at school etc. He is a very clever boy and can grasp things very quickly, this is the one thing he doesn't seem to be able to do. Any help/assurance would be fantastic.

[natesmom616]

Amyerineden

Sorry,  Havent been on the forum in quite awhile.  My son, who is now 11 has progressed wonderfully.  I do still think that there are times he has to go, and he doesnt go straight to the bathroom.  But those  are few and far between, and it isn't a case of holding if for days like it was in the past, he just may hold it for 1/2 of the day.  
He's progressed to the point that I no longer have to monitor to be sure he isn't holding anymore.
He never really was able to cleary explain to me why he held it so much.  He always said,  I don't know why I held it.

As I've said so many times in this forum,  while there ARE medical causes for some children to hold their bowel movements, it isn't ALWAYS the case.  Dont jump to the conclusion that they are constipated or  have Encopresis.  Yes, have a doctor look at the child. Rule it out.  I'm just saying that it isnt always a physical cause.  I truly, truly believe it was psychological, at least with my son.  Can't explain to you HOW it was psychological, or WHY.  But it wasn't physical.  
Patience and understanding is what won in the end.  Difficult as frustrating as that is,it was the only thing that helped for my son.  Good luck to you!!  I feel your pain and know how difficult and worrysome this situation can be

[justamom79]

THANK YOU!!!!! This link is exactly what I was looking for. Now I can explain to the doctor what is going on and get help with the necessary laxatives as well as an exam to check for damage caused by this.

[Babygirl787]

http://www.practicalgastro.com/pdf/November02/LoeningBauckeArticle.pdf

This is a link to a website where I happened to find the name for this kind of condition that our children are going through (functional fecal retention). I havent finished reading through it but, as I started....I noticed that the symptoms match precisely to those of my child (and most of your children). I hope the information will help us all! best of luck!

[lolamama]

my 6 year old hasn't poop for 8 days now, and I am going to give her miralax, but before this episode of not pooping, her poop has been normal. She gets to it everyday or eveyr other day with no problem, but has been complaining about stomach pain everytime she eats for as long as I can remember. The last time she poop, she did it twice the same day in less than an hour. The first poop was ok but the the second time she asked me it was kinda black with greenish tint to it. I freak out and went to the urgent care, when I showed the picture to the doctor, the doctor said it's not something to worry about. from that day my daughter hasn't poop yet. Anyone experience the same thing? I am worried sick but her pediatrician said it's normal.

[amyerineden]

How does ur son get on with going to the toilet now? I have a daughter who is now 5 and a half and its very similar story now after holding it in for past few years for 4 and 5 days at a time she has now started complainin before and after goin to the toilet of pains in the middle of her stomach??

[kelz87]

wow yea i have read a bit up on encopresis a few months ago there are some people who are 20 od and still carry on at holding on to there poo not wanting to go.. the docotor has now givin us movicol half to try him on.. starting it in 2 days time so hopefully he will eventully relize that it isnt going to hurt and to stop holding on..ive tried to put him back in nappies but he doesn't want to at all..so ive recently have been putting pads in his undies which makes it easier to clean.. how long has your grandson been doing it for? aww that is sad that no pre school will take him...its hard aswell because im sure the kids tease him at kindy

[Poppy51]

Hi, My Grandson is turning 5 next month & still wears a nappy because he says he can't feel the poop coming & it just falls out. If he didn't have a nappy it would just run down his legs. This is causing a problem because no pre school will take him because of the problem. On checking Google on Bowel Problems I came across articles on "Hirschsprung's Disease" a problem in the nerves of the large intestines that can be cut away to allow the poop to move, there is no censation of the poop being there .Also , "Encopresis " which is voluntary or involuntary bowel movements.Check these out for your kids. Some doctors just think you have not tried potty training them or you feed them the wrong things.My grandsons symptoms was shared by his older brother who is now 12 & still messes his pants if not allowed to go to the toilet when at school, he has to just run out , or he soils his pants. The Father had this problem also, so looks hereditary. I'm taking him to the doctor to get a referral to a pediatrition or bowel specialist, someone that can access the condition for proper medical treatment. It's not all psychological.