She will be 6 years old at the end of this month and she loves her grandmother dearly.She has been crying in school when she doesn't understand how to do something per her teacher. Her teacher is getting annoyed and said she has to stop . How do I get her to stop? As for her grades she is doing excellent but is going through this crying. Any suggestions will be appreciated. Do you thinlk I should consider asking her if my daughter should see the school counselor? I'm so confused and feeling in a state of despair.
there are so many different "cries"- even with a newborn-
at 6 it could be tru anxiety, immaturity, frustration, manipulation, it could be "whining"/ are there real tears- is it heartbreaking? A good teacher would want 'usually' what is best for the student if there truly is terrible anxiety for the child- not that it just "stops"/
Here is what may happen- the teacher may have already spoken to the counselor and they are sure the child is not anxious but trying to manipulate with her tears- wanting to stay longer with grandma, wanting to avoid learning a new skill in school.... I am not saying those things are unreasonable to suggest..... some children learn to manipulate with tears-
it's easier to see when the subject is changed- "let's drink a Dr pepper instead or get ice cream and leave this old school work behind" the kiddo brightens right up and the smiles turn on immediately- the counselor SHOULD know how to discern all this.
If it's just immaturity, she just needs to learn to "use her words and not her tears"-
'I'm sad I don't want to leave grandma but I know I'll be back next week'
Children feel so out of control that when you validate her feelings it may help a lot-
"I know you love grandma and I know it's hard"
Now if it's true anxiety and the child is heartbroken and cannot deal with changes easily she will need lots of help from everyone- to get everyone on the same page is truly a challange if one or the other has already formed another opinion. Make sure and start the new school year out next year with a long talk with everyone involved and start out with the same goals...... reminding ALL that the CHILD'S needs are what is most important here. Not the teacher's or the counselors or your needs, but the child's. You may have to remind yourself and the professionals from time to time that is your ONLY GOAL- What is best for your daughter/
There is a book Parent Talk by Randy Carlson/Kevin Lehman I got from the library. It tries to help moms distinguish sad crying, anxieties, manipulative tears etc and may help if you are unsure.
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