My almost 7 year old son had his annual physical today. He lied and told the nurse and then the doctor that his father hits him. He also told them that his father drinks a lot (he does not drink at all), and he lied twice about having to go to the bathroom. My son admitted to lying and said he was sorry.
The doctor discussed discipline methods with my husband (he took my son to the physical), and my husband explained that we use time outs. We do not spank, let alone hit.
My husband and I are now wondering what will happen. Is the doctor likely to contact social services? What will happen if they do?
Please let me preempt questions about the veracity of my claim that my son was lying. No, I am not a deluded wife. My son shows absolutely no evidence of abuse (except claiming that it happens). I have many other reasons to be confident that my husband does not abuse my son.
My beloved, highly spirited, highly intelligent, probably ADHD (preliminary diagnosis) son did tell me that he wanted to get his Dad in trouble when I asked him why he said that to the doctor. He has always pushed the envelope and said things to see what sort of reaction he could get. We're having a comprehensive cognitive, educational and behavioral workup done on him next month.
We're trying not to freak out now. I don't know if I should call the doctor and talk to her. I think I should, but I'm hesitant. I don't know if she will call social services. If she does, I don't know what social services will do. All these unknowns make me nervous. If I knew the doctor's office's policies, or social services procedures, I would feel more confident. Unfortunately, I can't find social service procedures published on the web, so I don't know where to get that information.
I would stop worring right now. I have been a foster mom for 2 years and know a lot of the procedures. First doctors that have found a child to be abused, must by law report it. However if this doctor saw no "true" signs of abuse he will not report it. Let's just say he did, and your son was not abused. The social services most likely will come to your house and talk with you and your husband, and child alone. Social services are all about keeping families together. If there was abuse they would do all they could to get you and your husband help, and return your son to you. Worrying about something that has not happened is so mentally exhausting. Try to release this, and everytime you start to worry, force your mind to think on something else. YOu need to get a good nights sleep, worrying keeps us from sleeping well. I am going to pray for you and your family right now.
Wow, that's some of the worst advice I've ever heard (read). Your main concern right now is not getting a good night's sleep. Your main concern should be that your son is displaying signs of having a conduct disorder, which if left unchecked could turn into antisocial personality disorder by the time he's a teen. Which is the same as a sociopath. I understand you don't spank - that's fine. But sometimes time outs are not appropriate for every transgression. If he were my child, and I were absolutely positive that there was no basis for the abuse allegation, then I would start using VERY firm discipline. Whether he has ADHD traits or not, this WILL work. You are going to have a hard road ahead of you, because behavior usually gets worse before it gets better.
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