6 year old wetting herself

My daughter will be 6 in June. Starting school in August. She has been potty trained since 2 1/2. She had the occasional night wetting but nothing too serious. She started going to kindergarten at almost 4 and started wetting herself during the day but not at home. It has been a year now since she started wetting herself at home also. We have tried everything we can think of. She has been to the dr and was givien "minirin" for 3 months and now is back on it for another 3 months. It is not helping. She has been to the hosptial for an ultrasound to rule out anything medical, that turned out good. So now we know it is nothing medical. She has a 3 year old and 11/2 year old sister. She is very shy, emotional, easy to cry but very smart. She prefers to wet herself while playing or watching the tele than go to the bathroom. She seems to be very controlling. Especially when playing with other kids. It has to be her way and no other. When asked why she does it she says she does not know. She is not scared of the toilet. I put her in pull ups during the night....and now have started waking her up 2 times during the night.Today i sent her to kindergarten wearing a diaper....thinking she may be a little embarrased but all she did was wet her self in it all day and did not use the bathroom. I have run out of ideas and in desperate need of help and advice. What am i doing wrong and what can i do to help this child!

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Here's an option you might try, a slight variation from what you've already done. Identify something that your daughter really likes (e.g., playing outside,watching television, playing a game) and that she does almost daily. Then have her earn whatever that activity is by remaining dry. So you go day by day, with each day bringing her the opportunity to earn what she very much likes. Some children avoid the bathroom at school, but do OK ay home. Obviously this isn't the case with your daughter.