6 year old wetting pants

[CaraMiaway]

My six year old daughter frequently wets her pants and stays in the soiled pants all day.  Sometimes, by the time she gets home from school, she is bone-dry but there is a yellow stain and an odor.  At times I think she does it because she knows it upsets me (and I have tried everything from ignoring it to punishing her to rewarding her for staying dry), but other times I can't see any obvious reason for it other than she is too lazy to go to the bathroom and wetting herself is not repugnant to her.  I would venture to say she has done it just about once a week, or sometimes more, all of her life.  She is not saturated when she gets home so she DOES have the feeling of needing to go at times throughout the day, and she has been tested for urinary tract infections and diabetes (negative).  Is this mother-daughter angst?  Some deep emotional turmoil?  I am unable to see any obvious trauma or stress in her life.  This child lives an idyllic existence surrounded by people who love her and pay attemtion to her.  She is very bright and well-behaved, otherwise.  What do you think is causing this and what can be done?

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

I doubt very much that your daughter's behavior has anything to do with you and delivering any message to you. Nor do I believe that she uis doing this intentionally, in the sense that she is acting in a deliberate, calculated way. I think the approach of insisting on more mature behavior and rewarding her for demonstrating it is the best way to go. Now, be sure the reward is something that can occur on a daily basis and means something to your daughter. If the leverage is there, the approach will work. Try not to personalize this.

[Taniaaaron]

My six year old daughters story is exactly like yours.  When reading your story it was as if I had written it myself, the whole thing abour rewarding and punishing trying good and bad. Nothing works.  We trialled a reward period for about 1 month,with no success.  She has had all the necessary tests also, but I am still of the thought that this is somehow a medical condition. I don't beleive it is mental because she is a smart and intelligent child, knowing right from wrong, but has the inability to control her wetting.  She comes home with a red raw vagina because she has been sitting in her wet all day long - and it just breaks my heart.  I need to know that there is something else we can do for her.  Any suggestions?

[capi79]

My child does the same thing. I have been very worried about this. I just think she does not want to stop playing long enough to go to the bathroom. And sometimes just does it to spite me. I am hoping she will grow out of this soon.

[2boys746]

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[Brekke]

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[Mary22408]

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