6 yr old kissing same sex

My 6 yr old daughter has told me on a number of occasions ( & I've witnessed it myself)
that her "best friend" kisses her on the mouth.   Her friend is 6 as well and has 2 sisters. One is only a year older. I've seen them kiss each other then tackle my daughter to try and kiss  her too at our home. The other daughter is 16. Their Grandmother is gay and has been involved in a long term relationship for quite a while. Maybe this is useful info??
Our main concern is that our 6 year old is being exposed to "sexual" contact, not only against her will, but by her peers at such a tender age. On the opposite side -she has been very touchy feely with my breasts, often laying her head on one and holding the other.  I have been stern with her about this, emphasizing the fact that no one should touch another person in a way that makes them feel uncomfortable, even mommy. She often tries to hold her kisses on my mouth making them wet and sloppy. My husband has seen this-finally, and agreed that there is something that's not quite right. Also, her friend has tried to put her up to kissing boys on the playground. Upon my daughter's refusal, her friend has told her to kiss eachother instead.  I can't bear to think that all this is starting already or is it really unusual.  I'm thinking she's comfortable with me & trying to "practice" on someone other than her friend so she can maybe kiss a boy when she's ready.  But I don't think she's ready. Is this just the beginning or is there something underlying here?? She's just a baby!

[24me]

Here is the dilemma, we know this family very well. We were friends while pregnant.  The girls were in the same preschool and kindergarten class. She is not only best friends with this little girl, I would say she is obsessed. So many times have I heard nasty and mean things she has done to my daughter(putting a leaf w/ bird poop in her hand for one). She is very passive agressive. I've seen her stroking her back and 'petting' her hair while seated next to each other. Yet have heard her call my daughter names and threaten not to be her friend if she doesn't do as she wants her to.The mom however, has 4 other children total. She would roll her eyes at this. With my own eyes I have seen them pin her down and force her to kiss. When she pushed them off the sisters (6 & 7) rolled around on the floor kissing eachother. I stepped in and played it cool saying-"what would mommy say if she saw you play like that?" They rolled around responding sarcastically-"we're only sisters!". I'm sorry, but I think that is totally weird.  My brother was over fixing our computer at the time and thought so too.
As for the 'sexual' nature, I wasn't sure what to call it-but apparently these aren't just your friendly pecks normal at this age. Her interest is peaking and 6 is just way too young for this in my opinion. I don't want my daughter bullied into anything by her 'bestfriend' either. She considers her to be this, despite reports of mean things she does to her. I find every excuse I can for cancelling playdates although we are friends with her parents.  Am I overboard??

[aim7407]

No , you're not overboard at all! In my opinion, the behavior from your daughter's friends is over the line, over the top, and way too intrusive. They have no right to push her around and force physical affection on her, especially kissing! And given the fact that all of a sudden, your daughter is unusually interested in your breasts, and sex in general, and making the kisses she gives you sloppy and wet, I'd say these kids are affecting her in a negative way. It is true, that kids will kiss on the lips at a young age, and it's almost always innocent, but that's with parents and family, it's not normal in my opinion, for a 7 year old, to want to kiss another 6 or 7 year old  Friend from School, on the lips, or kiss her sister like that. I have a sister, and we Never did that as kids, and I Never ever felt the overwhelming desire to tackle my friends at school and plant a big slobby kiss on them boy or girl, or touch my mother's breasts at the age of 6.  These girls are violating your daughter's personal space and they seem to have No clue what personal boundaries and respect are, it's Extremely disrespectful, especially since they've been told how uncomfortable it makes her, and she has tried to push them away. They don't respect your daughter, and most likely don't respect any of their friends. It might be that they have been exposed to some inappropriate sexual behavior wayyyy too young, and it could be that if they think two women kissing is the everyday norm, since their Grandma is gay, then perhaps they think they can do that to every girl they are friends with. Who knows? That may not have any effect on them at all, but I guess you never can tell.  All this behavior from these girls such as trying to convince your daughter to kiss boys on the playground, and/or kiss them instead, is way over the top, and I would be livid if my daughter came home and told me her friends were trying to do that type of thing to her.  I am only giving my opinion, but if it were my daughter, who is now 10,  I would talk to the teacher at the school, to let them know what these other girls are up to, and the pressure they are putting on your daughter, I'd also talk to the parents, even if they are your friends, it's doesn't make it any less inappropriate. And if that does not work, I'd just break ties with them, and not let my daughter spend time with them.  These girls fascination with sex and kissing and touching, is not normal for that age, not to that extreme or extent. Who knows, there might be some sexual abuse going on in their home. The little girl being mean and doing passive aggresive (aggressive) things to your daughter when she's not "pleased" with her, or threatening  if  your daughter doesn't do what she wants,  that's Big time trouble waiting to happen, and it's way unfair to your daugther, it's an abusive relationship in my opinon. You don't want her to have friends that would treat her that way.  I'd step back , and stay there if I were you.  Hope this helps,  

[24me]

THANK YOU! You have given me the validation I need! I usually trust my gut, but things seem to happen younger and younger every time I turn around. I've tried to explain to my daughter what being a good friend means and that friends don't make you do things if you don't want to. She is insistent that this is her best friend because they've know each other since birth. It will be hard to keep coming up with excuses. I will contact her teacher, luckily I know another teacher personally who may be able to keep an eye on it at school for me. I cringe just thinking about bringing it up with my friend. She is the type of person who can spin this in the opposite direction and put my daughter to blame. For now I will take your advice and step back. Thank you so much for your feedback!

[aim7407]

Hey there, no problem. :-)  I read your posts and couldn't believe what that mean little girl was doing to your daughter. I hope that girl isn't being sexually abused , but I guess that's for their family to work out, but I agree, I'd keep your daughter away from them, if possible. It will probably be way awkward talking to this girl's parents, but , it might be necessary. Or if you wanted, you could just gradually break away from them, and "lose touch"  ;-). The other Mom wouldn't have a chance to try and blame your daughter for something her kids are doing. Either way, I feel confident you will handle it with grace. You seem like a good Mom to me, and were totally right to be worried about  the way your daughter was being treated. As for your daughter having an attachment to this girl, it's understandable, and kids even if they are not treated well by a friend, sometimes will still put them up on a pedestal. I would just keep consistant with explaining to her, that this kind of treatment, and pressure and inappropriate behavior from this other girl, is not normal, and that this is not the way a good friend would treat her, if they really cared about her. It will take time to sink in, but eventually it will. Also, if she likes to watch movies and short videos, you could try renting some that show what healthy friendships between young girls are like, and it might help her understand that the way this kid is treating her is wrong. The Strawberry Shortcake videos were great for that, and they are perfect for ages 3-8, my daughter loved them. Or Holly Hobbie, or the Barbie Movies. There are lots of videos out there for young kids that show what healthy and respectful relationships are between friends.  You could have a special time with her and you two  could get some popcorn and sodas and watch them together and have girl time.   I know everything will work out for the best!  Take care and good luck!

[24me]

Thanks again-you have great advice.