6 yr old son steals money from me

[cntrygirl]

My 6 yr old son steals money from me.  Usually when it is laying on a counter or dresser, but sometimes from my desk drawer ar coat pocket.  I'm not talking change, i mean 10 and 20 dollar bills.  I have grounded him, taken away his stuff, made him tell his aunt(who is his idol).  I dont know what to do.  I even had Santa talk to him like he knows what my son has done.  It hasn't changed his behavior.  I have explained to him that thiefs go to jail, and what jail is.  I have even pretended to call the police.  He thought he was going to jail, but I told him the jail was full, so he got another chance to change his behavior.  That's the only time he got really scared.  It was hard for me to see him so upset and worried, but I don't know what else to do.  I tell him how much I love him, and that I just want him to know how wrong it is for him to steal.  When I ask him why he takes my money, he always says because he wants to have more money like his sisters.  He is my middle child, with an older sister, and two younger twin sisters.  He thinks for some reason that the twins have alot of money??  I cant figure out why, because they dont.  They are 4.
I just dont know what to do.  I am concerned about our relationship, he sometimes seems very angry.  I dont know at what.  He tells me he hates me(which is fairly normal for a child) but he also says he wishes he was in heaven so he never had to see me again.  He tells me I'm just mean, and that he wishes i would just go away forever.  He has also made the comment about slicing my throat.  Really strong feelings for a 6 yr old.  When I talked to him about this and explained that I would die if he did that, he cried alot and told me he loved me.
He is not a bad child, he really has a heart of gold, he is a model student, his teachers love him, he is always very well behaved at his friends houses.  Other parents who have had him over always call me and tell me what a pleasure it was to have him.  It seems like he is very angry with me and confused about those feelings.  I would truly appreciate any advice you may have.  I tell him how much I love him, even when I/m upset with him or when he does bad things.  I never tell him he is bad, just that he does bad things and that is why I am angry and dissappointed.  I make a point to tell hem when he does good, or when other people compliment his behavior.  He is a very very intelligent child, but emotionally very young still.  Sometimes I feel like he is frustrated with what he knows and what he feels.  Thank you for any advice you may have.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Your son's version of acting out communicates a perception that he is deprived, and he compares himself unfavorably with his siblings in this regard. The stealing likely 'serves' two functions: (a) a response to the perceived deprivation, and (b) a gesture of anger toward you. Now sometimes children have a feeling, or a perception, that they are deprived, when from an objective point of view this is not the case. It's part of their makeup and persists, regardless of what you do. It would be sensible to have him evaluated by a pediatric mental health professional to help you figure this out and to make some plan for intervention, since the common-sense responses that you've attempted haven't yielded the results for which you'd hoped.