7 Year Old Daughter Won't Go To The Bathroom

[michie23]

My 7 year old step-daughter refuses and when I say refuses I mean REFUSES to go poop. I mean she will hold it in until her body finally rejects it and forces it out of her into her pants. When we actually are able to make her go it is the size of a small football and sometimes bigger than that (NO KIDDING)
We have tried adding fiber supplements to her diet but even though she takes it she still holds it in. She has gone through about 12 packs of underwear in 3 months because every time she does it I throw them away.
Her grandmother blames it on us giving her too much processed foods but I think that is BS...she eats plenty of fruit and vegetables and she still refuses to go. She even does it when she is with her grandmother.
She has done this from the very beginning when we started potty training her, which we started at age 2 and it took us 2 years (yes I said 2 years) because she refused to sit on the toilet at all.
She didn't stop wearing pull-ups until she was enrolled in pre-k and we told her that she had to start going to the potty like a big girl so she could go to school. She even continued to have accidents through-out her pre-k year.
She is almost 7 years old now and I don't know what to do about this. I have talked to a doctor and all he told us was to do the things that we have already tried. I truly believe its just a battle of wills or maybe she thinks that if she holds it in long enough it will go away. We need some help with this BIG TIME....

[Jimmymom]

My son never pooped in the  toilet  until he was 6 years old , I tryed everything that uu could think of but one thing , my son loves gummy bears , so i tricked him and made him belive he was pooping gummy’s , I would throw two in befor he sat down I would not let him look in the tolet, I told him poop gummy’s and I let him see if he pushed a little what was in there, after he did poop I gave him gummy’s to eat and he has been potty train every since , but it was not until I prayed and put Jesus 1st , put god 1st In what ever you do and have faith wait on the lords time , god blesd

[margypops]

it does sound as if its as usual a battle of wills and its between a step parent and a child...may I ask if her bio mother is in the picture at all ? .  

[natesmom616]

Michie23

I'll add my thoughts that respectfully differ somewhat from the other posts on this thread. I posted a few years back about my son with this issue.   While i know that there are indeed many medical issues that can cause this, as well as some serious medical issues that can arise as a result of our children holding it in,  I am a parent who knows that this CAN be an issue that is not medical.  While I dont really see it as a battle of wills between the child and parent,  I DO see it as a possible battle of wills the child has with his/her self, sort of a control issue if you will.   Again,  I'm not saying that there arent medical issues that can cause this.  But if you look, you will find numerous posts from parents who have taken their child to a specialists, and had gi scans, ect and they come back normal.  You know your child better than anyone.  There is a difference between a child who CANT go, and a child who WONT go.  My child could go, he just wouldnt.    There were times in the past where he would have so much backed up in him that it would press against his bladder and he would wet himself.   By all means, you should rule out any medical issues through a physician as well as educate yourself on what problems can come as a result of holding it in.   Never assume it isn't medical first.   Im not saying your case isnt medical.  I'm only saying that I know from experience with my child and the countless threads/forums ect that I've read over the years that is doesnt always come down to a medical cause.  I truly believe that many of these cases are psychological.  I hope this helps.  I certainly mean no disrespect to any other poster, nor do I mean to give the impression that this cant be a serious problem.  On the contrary, I've dealt with this first hand with my child since he was 6 years old so I know the frustration and worry that you feel.  One thing I can say with certaintly, patience is a MUST.  As frustrating as it is,  even if it WAS a battle of wills, no child should be spanked for this, regardless of the reasons behind it.  It does nothing but cause more anxiety which is never a benefit.
Good luck!!  Let us know if you find a way to help your child move past this issue.

[RockRose]

I completely agree with the others.  I don't think this is a battle of wills,  I think this is a problem where her colon doesn't move feces down.  

And I also completely agree with Annie,  that many pediatricians are blind to this.  

My guess is she has an organic bowel problem,  it may be any number of things,  she doesn't move feces to her rectum and out normally due to a physical problem.

God bless all the children like this.  How many children have been whipped,  and shamed,  because their bowels don't move.  Sad.

[teddybears4ever2]

It is possible that she has chrons, colitis, IBS, or Celiac Disease.? If not I would have her tested for those.  These are all things that can be treated, so I wouldn't worry too much about it.  These would all fit.  Good Luck!

[AnnieBrooke]

Look up impacted bowel on Wikipedia.  She probably has a long-term enlarged colon from the years of "holding it," and now it's painful and out of control for her.  It isn't willfulness, even at age 7.  But impacted bowel and encopresis that can result need to be treated by a doctor who knows about it, like a pediatric gastroenterologist, not just a pediatrician.  Take this seriously as a medical condition, and don't just assume it's her being stubborn or willful.  Try to take the power struggle out of it and get her to appropriate medical help.  Once the bowel and colon are enlarged for a prolonged amount of time, they stop working properly and compressing naturally, and it is necessary to get qualified medical assistance.  (A lot of pediatricians just don't know that much about the problem.)  Please see a specialist.

[BlondieRN79]

This may sound nuts but withholding is a form of OCD commonly known as hoarding. Dies your child get sick often? Strep,ear infections, sinus infections, bronchitis?