7 year old boy having accidents and behavorial problems

I have a 7 year old boy that started having accidents boths pee and poop when he started kindergarten. Then started having problems with listening to ANYTHING i say or ask him not to do.  He seems to do ok when i ask him to do something but if it has to do with not doing something he may get in trouble for, he seems to really push the not listening.  And now it seems no matter what we do or dont do he has accidents and will not listen.  His father and i havent been together since he was born, not sure if that would be part of the problem.  ANd his fathers family really is good at "buying" his love, and at this age, they really seems to like that. I have a very hard time keeping my cool and not over reacting.  Any advice would be very helpful.

[yngdad]

It sounds like it could be 2 things. 1: he wants more attention. Do u spend enough time with him? Does his father? Most kids act out in bad ways because they don't get enough attention from good ways. As for the accidents another way to get attention. Make him clean himself up after he has one. He will eventually get tired of it. Also try making him sit in his "accidents". 2: sounds like he could have been abused. Kids who are abused usually have accidents if they have been sexually abused. They also start acting out because they don't know what else to do with their pain and anger. Talk to him and make sure that's not the case, altho even if it was he probably wouldn't tell u.

Take him to the doctor for the accidents, they can do some tests. As for the behavioral get him to counseling. Might have to do with u guys not being together.