Has anyone ever had a young child, mine is 7, talking about suicide because they weren't getting their way?
Heres the story...
My fiance' asked our 7 year old to clean her room yesterday after school. She went in threw stuff under her bed and in her closet, ( aparently thinking he wouldnt check there). He walked in her room, looked around and said, sorry, but you have to do it the right way or you dont get to come out. Now, keep in mind this is the only thing we really ask of her, we dont make her or ask her to do any other chores besides that. She earns a dollar for every day its clean too, and if she gets 3 or 4 days out of a week with it being clean she gets a whole day fo being able to pick what she wants like movies, dinner,etc. So anyways, she goes back in her room and is simply playing with her toys, reading books, playing with whatever else she decides she wants to. So when I get home I go in her room and see how she is doing. She tells me that we dont care about her because she wants to spend time with us but we are making her clean her room. By now it is about 6:30 PM, she has been in her room since about 4:00 to start cleaning it. I expliain to her that she has choices to make. I told her that we wnat to spend time with her too, but she first needs to do her chore of cleaning her room. I told her she is chosing not to clean so she is choosing not to spend time with us. I reminded her that once she got done she could come out and watch movies or spend time together as a family. SHe got upset, and layed down. She didnt throw a fit, just layed down and started saying that she wanted to die. To cut the story short she said it and wrote it quite a few times throughout the evening. I finally got scared and took her to the hospital to get evaluated. They realeased her to go back home with us after a couple hours, but I am still worried. She is on Concerta for ADHD, plus she is ODD. I know the drugs they use for ADHD can cause higher risk of suicidal thoughts, but the docs think she was doing it more for attention than anything. They said to watch her and just take precautions to keep her safe, but I would like to know what everyone here thinks. I may have left some gaps so if you have any questions feel free to ask. Any feedback right now woudl be greatly appreciated.
My oldest son when impatient the first time at 7 for wrapping a belt around his neck and saying he wanted to die he is now 10 and still syas those things he has been impatiented 4 times now. My daughter is 6 yr old and she says these thing but doent say how she will carry them out. What we were told is watch carefully but seek help if they have a definite plan. Is your daughter in counseling?
you did the right thing by taking it seriously. Any talk of suicide should be considered serious. Like the above poster said, one thing to keep an eye out is if the child in question has a definite plan.
More than likely though, it sounds like your daughter wanted some attention, or what's more likely, was trying to make you and her father feel guilty for making her do something she didn't want to do (i.e. cleaning her room). Always take talk like this seriously, but don't give in or you'll see more of it. Explain how much you care about her, etc, however she is expected to keep her room clean, etc. Good luck. If she is on meds for ODD and ADHD (which is diagnosed now all of the time, it seems), is she seeing a therapist or psychiatrist? If not, she should be...if she is seeing one, this would be a perfect issue to address with her doctor.
Stephieinok-Yes, she is in counseling. SHe goes every Tuesday evening for about 45 minutes to an hour. SHe likes going too, its great. And it has helped a lot. SHe has learned how to better cope with her feelings, especially anger, as well as we have learned how to react better rather than yelling at her and creating more power struggle.
SOcgirl- yes, it was more than likely attention. Even her pediatrician said the same thing the next day. i am definitely going to be talking to her counselor about this next week. They all took the week off for Spring Break, but we will be able to talk to her Tuesday next week. I have also made some other changes at home to help her. I went through her room with her last night and I had her pick 5 or 6 major items that were important to her to be able to play with. After that we put the rest of her toys in the toybox and put them up high so she cant get them down. I explained to her that we were doing this to minimize what could be made into a mess. She was grateful that I was doing this with her and she helped me a lot with the cleaning and organizing portion of all of it. I made sure she was able to make choices and decisions in where we put things, but put my input and opinion in as well. It helped her a lot. SHe also made a comment that when her younger friends come over they wont be able to make such a big mess by stringing all her stuff all over her room. I am hoping this will make a difference for her. I want her to be able to succeed in what is asked of her, instead of being discouraged just by looking at it. So Ill keep ya posted on how it goes. We are also starting a sticker chart this week to help her remember the positive side of keeping her room clean.
Rockrose- My Fiance' is my girls's step dad. Well technically soon to be. They both call him Daddy though. They also get to see thier biological father every Wednesday over night and every other weekend. They have a great relationship with both. She has never had a problem with him asking her to do anything. Both my girls know that whatever he says goes just as well as what I say. It is nothing new to her. She simply has been on a bit of a defiant streak this past month. The doc put her on clonadine to help her Concerta work a bit better. She was talking about upping her med dosage, but I dont want to do that. She thinks she may just be adjusting to the dosage, but I think she needed a bit of a boost of self esteem and maybe something to help the Concerta work. So we are monitoring her this week to see how she does with it.
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