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7 year old with bathroom problem
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7 year old with bathroom problem

My 7 year old son has been having a problem with staying clean after he was diagnosed with constipation at 4frs.  He has been treated and after test found that everything is normal and all sensations are working as they should.  But he still manage to wet his bed every night and during the day wets himself about twice a day and soils him self 2 or 3 times a day.
He tells us everytime he is never going to be able to stay clean because he is stupid.
We went to see a behavioral therapist but that didn't really do anything.  He made promisses but after 3 days forgot all about it. He can do it but 3 days is his max for staying clean.  We tried praising him, gifts, punishments, last week he wasn't going to wet his bed anymore we stopped giving him pull-ups and he indeed kept his bed dry but wet his carpet next to the bed.  He sais he doesn't remember doing it. He walks around with pee or poop smell from his pants, kids make fun of him and I am at a loss.
Medical he is fine but his additude is so negative.  I know I have been very upset with him at times but can you blame me after 3 years and he is still in needs of a diaper. he has a brother (9) and a sister (5) who are fine and make fun of him.
What can I do even making him clean up his mess doesn't help.
Please, I want him so bad to be o.k. and to be able to go on sleep overs but I just can't trust him to stay clean or even ask for the bathroom if he needs to.
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What happened when you went to the behavioral therapist? What sort of program did you implement? Perhaps if I know some of the details I can guide you better.

The most frequent cause for encopresis, or soiling, is chronic constipation that results in chronically impacted bowels. This seems ironic sometimes, because it would appear that such a thing couldn't be occurring if indeed the child is soiling. Nonetheless, it does occur, and it would be a good idea (if you haven't recently had him seen by his pediatrician) to have this checked. If the bowels are impacted, the child is placed on a regimen and generally must stay on it for some time.

Relative to enuresis at night, a percentage (approx. 10% or so) of children are still enuretic at night when they reach the age of seven. Most of those children, though, are dry during the day. So I'd focus mostly on the daytime problem, and if your son is OK from a urological standpoint (that has been evaluated?), a systematic program of behavior management is the recommended intervention.
4 Comments
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Avatar_n_tn
I truly sympathize with you.  If it helps, years and years ago my oldest son had the same exact problem.  He wet himself constantly, at play or school.  And would frequenly soil himself and had severe constipation.  Had all the same tests, nothing physically wrong.  Spent about 2 years with a child behaviour counselor, did all the same positive reinforcements you have undoubtably tried, to no avail.  He said he wasn't aware of doing it!

It ended when he went to middle school and he was UNMERCIFULLY teased and made fun of.  Unfortunately, the teasing followed him even into high school, because there were a lot of kids from his same middle school.  Kids are so cruel; he was known at PoopyPants until he finally dropped out of high school at age 16.  
I don't think it would have even helped to move, because he had other weird behaviours that the other kids picked up on within minutes of meeting him.  And even as a teen, he occasionally wet himself at school.  

I will be interested to see what the psychologist here has to say.  I don't mean to make you fearful that this will happen to your child, I just hope you can have more success with treating this than we did.
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Avatar_n_tn
Reading this, I shouldn't have posted it.  I was originally just trying to say it DID end when he got older.  But the situation came flooding back to me as I typed, and my fingers got ahead of my brain.

All this happened to my son many years ago.  I am quite sure that there is better help available, and your child will overcome this.  You sound like a caring mom.  
This can't be an isolated problem; there have to be other children like ours.  
I just never could figure out WHY he didn't seem to notice he was wet or soiled when it was OBVIOUS to everyone else.  Still wonder.  

Good luck to you.  For what it's worth, my son is now married and I am a proud grandma.
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Avatar_n_tn
Hi,
  I also have experienced a situation like you are speaking of with my stepson and then years later with my daughter.  It is very disturbing to us as parents because people make the rudest comments not only to us but to our children.  I took both of the children to the pediatrician and was not succesful in reaching a diagnosis.  My daughter's Doctor even gave me the feeling that I was having a psychological problem and that my child was fine.  I knew from the experience I had with my stepson that there was hope.  I had taken my stepson to a Pediatric Gastroenterologist.  There was only one in our whole state and it required traveling but the Doctor was wonderful!  He did an Xray and discovered impaction.  First we were on an enema program, then stool softener/laxative program, then a bowel movement/toileting program.  It worked wonderfully!  The Dr. explained everything by drawing the system on a big drawing board.  The stoolstaining in the under clothes is just the liquid that manages to pass by the impacted stool.  The child has no control over it.  It is actually leakage.  
  This whole situation is very emotionally disturbing for the child because bathroom business is meant to be private.  It's also difficult for parents because sometimes it is difficult to discuss with physicians who are not specialists in the area.  We are dismissed as "over reacting".  I would really recomend taking your son to a Pediatric Gastroenterologist who is a specialist.  Childhood should be a happy carefree time for children.  The emotional stress of toileting difficulties is very hard on children.  
  I don't have any experience with the wetting problem.  I have read that sometimes bedwetting runs in families and that it is not uncommon for children to still be wetting up until puberty begins.
  I am not giving any advice here except to say that I feel that a specialist is the one who can really help you with your situation.  Ask for information on where to find a PEDIATRIC GASTROENTEROLOGIST in your area.  
  I took my daughter to several pediatricians also and recieved no help.  Then we made an appointment with the specialist that I took my stepson to and we started the program.  Now every is great!!!
  You may be wondering why I didn't just take her to the specialist in the beginning, right?  Her situation presented itself somewhat differently and I thought that because she was straining so hard to have BM's and nothing was happening (not even leakage) that the problem was different.  I was wrong.  I learned alot when we went to the specialist.  You will too and you and your son will feel so much better when you get everything under control.  Your son's self esteem will increase and he will feel better physically.  His appetite will improve and he will have more energy.  Good Luck!!!
  This is the first time I've been on this site.  I hope what I've shared is encouraging to you!


  
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A related discussion, my 6 y.o. is pooping her pants - HELP was started.
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A related discussion, my 6 year old son uses the bathroom on himself daily was started.
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if you could please help me,what kind of constapation medication could i buy over the counter for my 7 year old boy he has a problem with goin to the bathroom #2. i do not have insurance for him.
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