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7 year old won't stop talking
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7 year old won't stop talking

My 7 year old son cannot seem to stop talking. He says he wants friends but then he'll talk to them and he will dominate the conversation. He is an only child and I am a single mom, At home he is pretty much the "center of attention" and I feel this might be an adjustment for him as he is not the "center of attention" at school. His grades in almost everything are excellent. He seems to have a lot of trouble in spelling however but when he is at home he can focus perfectly. We go over the spelling words and he can spell them however when he takes the test he gets 50's and lower. His teacher has already had a meeting with me regarding his talking out of turn in class. She told me she has never seen that side of my son before when I was interacting with him during the meeting. They told me they would watch him for a week and if the behavior continued they wanted me to have him tested? Now I am not an expert at ADD or ADHD however what exactly is normal little boy behavior and what is ADD/ADHD behavior? I have no qualms about having him tested however I refuse to have my son "Doped up" just to make a teachers job easier.
I hope to see improvement as I continue to work with him but I am not sure as to why he keeps seeing schooltime as a time to chat and talk with other students.
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Avatar_f_tn
I have no qualms about having him tested however I refuse to have my son "Doped up" just to make a teachers job easier.


Do you think the parents of a diabetic child should refuse insulin for the above reason?  If a child requires medication, it is because something is "missing" or something needs "help".  Just as a child with an illness might require an antibiotic to fight the bacterium; so a child with a mental health disorder might require some type of medication to help a "disordered" mind.

By the way, often children who act up in school or talk too much or do not complete their school work do so because they feel they are incapable of succeeding at the assigned task.  Perhaps, the testing might find a slight learning disorder which could then be addressed in the classroom.  The fact that your son can spell the words correctly at home and then not be able to reproduce this at school could be evidence of a slight learning issue.

It's admirable that you are trying to help your son at home, but until you know the problem, then you will not be able to fix it.  I hope the testing will give some answers and solutions how you and the school can better help him.
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What side of your son did your teacher see during the conference that surprised her?    Was it a cooperative side,  and uncooperative side . . . ?
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Avatar_n_tn
jdtm, Drugs are not the only option though they certainly are the most conveniant. In the case of a diabetic child I think that would be a little different. I wholeheartedly agree with you that we shouldn't jump to things.

RockRose, My dear son knows I do not tolerate certain things and he cooperated instantly when he knew I was there.
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13167_tn?1327197724
coffee - this is a really positive sign,  if your son behaves in your presence at home and in school.

It may even be that he needs a new teacher who runs a more strict classroom.
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Avatar_n_tn
She is a nice women, though young, but it is true she is not very strict. I am not sure if schools are allowed to be strict nowadays but I can at least inquire about it. She had this reward system where he earned things like his car erasers back if he was able to get five tokens. She tells me he couldn't even get to four. After one or two weeks of that she says they strongly advised me writing a letter to them to ask that he be tested. Why they could not is beyond me. Its just frustrating as I know it's there, even the principal was flabbergasted as to how well he uses his words in communicating.
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Avatar_n_tn
I have a kid who won't stop talking either. Its a shame thattaechers have no rights to discipline children anymore without the threat of being sued. I think the teacher should put his desk outside of the classroom and let him sit out there alone for that class. Besides disturbing the rest of the class, he can't be listening while he is learning. Sometimes a little embarrasment works. Thats what they did us in my day. I was 7 in 1961 and the teachers made the rules not the kids. I know a woman who had a gun pulled on her in a high school classroom and she lost her job for calling 911 instead of first reporting the kid to the principal's office. This happened in New Orleans 2 years ago.
  We were told to only punish our kid that day for his behavioral problems. I think that rights should be given back to the teachers so they can do their jobs and quit letting the kids run the show.
   Another question, does your child speak while you are speaking? Does he know what respect is?
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Avatar_n_tn
I have an 8 year old who won't stop talking either. I googled this site after yet another note from his teacher today. My son makes A's & B's and reads on almost a 6th grade level. He is very smart and is also an only child of a single mother. I've had this problem now for almost 2 years. I agree that the schools need more ability to punish. His pediatrician said yes to ADHD meds, I've been thru the "testing" process which is a questionnaire format for all adults involved in his life (parents, teacher, daycare, etc.). I am not going to dope my son to make the teachers life easier either! My son also has an excellent diet (little or no sugar or caffiene, tried that too). He is cabable of being quiet. We've exercised this at home - he can go over one hour without talking at all. Keep in mind, in my school district, when a child is put on ADHD meds - the school receives additional money for these children. Interesting huh? Another thought - it is typically boys having this problem. Our current gradeschool curriculum is based on the needs of girls. Girls seem to do well in these type programs, it is next to impossible for boys of this age to sit all day, not speak and have no physical outlet. Things need to change. One more thought - did you know that the meds for ADHD include amphetimine? Yes - speed. My son's father is a drug addict, no longer in his life. That is the last thing I want to do is train this boy with meds at 8 to become a meth head later!! Meanwhile - I, like you am extremely frustrated by this issue! I cry alot about this and have found no solid answers. Maybe someone out there has one!
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Avatar_n_tn
my son is also 7 and will not stop talking.. he is an excellent student.. although the constant talking has become an issue with his teacher.. she says he negatively impacts the learning of his classmates.. in the beginning of the school year she laughed and thought it was funny how much he talked and what a joy he was.. how can you go from that to being frustrated with him.. i have had conferences with her and spoke with her on the phone.. i am also a single mother and he is an only child.. my friends all suggest meds.. ok i don't agree with that.. yes all of their kids are on one sort of medicine to the next.. i am very shy and to an extent am proud of my sons outgoing nature although sometimes it is very embarrassing.. won't he grow out of this? the way i see it most of the boys around this age are talkative.. why is medicine the first option? he eats well, sleeps well and gets a lot of attention.. could he just be bored? the teacher says he is the first one done with his work and very polite.. he is also involved in sports.. i just would like to know if anyone would have any ideas of what i could do to make it better for him in school and for our home life..  thanks
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Avatar_m_tn
In an age where prescription happy doctors and lazy parents are more than willing to make the "quick fix" (i.e. medication), it is sending the wrong message to the child to have them thinking that they NEED to take something to help them function.  I truly believe this leads to substance abuse later in life.  The message we should be sending our children is that they can do ANYTHING on their own, without the assistance of drugs.  Too many lazy parents who don't want to put in the tough part of parenting are so willing to feed their child a drug.  The comparison to diabetes is pathetic and braindead, because a person cannot live without medication if they have such a disease.  I was diagnosed with ADHD at a very young age, and forced to take medication until I was able to realize at the age of 13 that I did not like the way it made me feel.  I now lead a very successful life managing the ADHD with NO MEDICATION, and am a strong advocate that childern who are diagnosed (or most likely mis-diagnosed) with ADHD just need extra care and attention than most "normal" children.  Being a parent isn't easy by any means, but by holding a child responsible for their behavior and having consistency in their life with rules and responsibilities, any child can lead a successful life with such a "diagnosis".
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What has been the outcome of your son in the past year or so???  This is a serious issue with my son, now 7, diagnosised adhd a year ago and been changed to 3 schools due to this.  Has your child improved???  What solutions did you seek and apply?  Please respond.  He is driving me nuts with his constant talking and noises and hyper activity.  Medication isn't helping much either.
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Avatar_n_tn
Certainly some kids are more "hyper" than others, or have more trouble concentrating, but we really have dropped the ball by a) not disciplining sufficiently, consistently and properly (parents and schools), b) not helping kids to cope responsibly with tools other than drugs, and c) not helping kids get enough exercise.   Most kids these days aren't getting anywhere near the exercise they need, and I think this can be especially important for very active boys.  Just some thoughts.    
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Avatar_m_tn
I have a 7 yo and I cannot believe how quick the private school he attends was to like the idea of drugs and how easy they were to obtain from the doctor (who only looked at the description offered by the teachers, priciple and my wife and NEVER even saw my child).  BTW I REFUSE to allow him to take the meds at this point based on those two points specifically but also after my own research.  

He is not violent and according to the teacher his biggest issue is trying to talk and ask questions while she is talking.  She did have concerns that he played too rough early in the year (what 7yo boy doesnt, expecially one that likes to play football with the 7th graders??) but those issues have subsided.  I have asked her previously and today will direct her to correct him sternly and immediately.  What does she do now?  Sends him out into the hall multiple times throughout the day.  This young teachers inability to handle this issue has unforunately cost him vaulable education time.  I say "her issue" as he is very respectful at home and when we are out.  if he gets out of line he is brought back into line swiftly though sometimes grudgingly.  After reading about the meds, talking to other parents and observing interactions I have come to a few conclusions.  1) There is a time and place for everything, ADHD meds included.  2) They are the easy way out for parents and educators who would rather have a house or classroom full of kids that are "easy" to handle  3) a 5, 6 or 7 year old boy cannot sit still all the time, or be quiet all the time and I actually think a teacher or parent would be happy to have a child that is inquisitive and asks questions.  If they are at the wrong time, address the timing and manner in which they are asked.  By alienating kids and placing them in the corner repeatedly or in the hall repeatedly we are just squashing their desire to learn and they incorrectly surmise that asking questions is wrong not that the behavior is wrong.  

Sorry if I used this to vent but OMG.  When a teacher has no issue with a student saying "Hey, what's up (insert last name)" and does not address the lack of respect that shows it is no wonder they cannot have a classroom of respectful children to teach.  BTW, that was not my son.  

Discipline, at home and school, as a significant amount to do with the issues we are discussing here.  It is for that reason we are moving schools next year.  Yes, if it matters, to another private school but one where when we visited and classes chaned the only thing heard were footsteps and very little talking.  The teachers interacted with the children very well and expectations are clear as are punishments.  I will not even get into the problems with our current school.  

As I said, there is a time and place for the ADHD meds.  But please, do not do it as the only way out or the easy way out.  Consistent discipline, clear expectations and good daily strucutr will work wonders.  
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Avatar_m_tn
     Hey Tom, I am also the CL on the ADHD forum and I gotta say I can completely understand you wanting to vent.
     In fact, I pretty much agree with all you have to say.
     I never sent a child outside my classroom unless I was with them so we could have a quite talk about something they did with out the rest of the class listening in.  Then they always came back inside.  This tended to happen more at middle school because the kids were only around for one period.  In elementary school, there always was a time and place they we would discuss what was going on.
   But I will say that just discipline by the teacher is not the answer.  The teacher next to me demanded silence (among other things), and typically by the end of the first month any special ed. kid was transferred into my class because she had only one way to deal with kids and not all kids can work that way.
    It really is sad that teachers are not given more help in working with kids.  A simple quiet corner in the classroom where the child is sent for a few minutes until they feel they are ready to come back to their seat is usually enough to handle many situations.  And I could go on and on about figet balls, or happy feet, etc.  Point being - there are techniques will work when just telling a kid sternly to "be quiet" isn't enough.  Unfortunately, many times private (as well as public too) teachers don't get the training they need.  And sometimes due to low salaries, lack of experience, and lack of funding for special education - private schools don't do as well as public schools for some kids.
    Anyway, reason I am writing is to suggest that before you go the other private school route - Do check out next years teachers.  You might have an amazing teacher at that grade level.  And, of course depending on the neighborhood you live in, you might also want to check out the public schools.
   By the way, if you would like any resources on ADHD, working with ADHD children, or the clinical proceedure that docs should be following to diagnose ADHD, etc - please feel free to post here - http://www.medhelp.org/forums/ADD---ADHD/show/175
  Best wishes.
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