Child Behavior Expert Forum
7yr old daughter masterbating(masturbating)
About This Forum:

This forum is for questions and support regarding child behavior issues such: Child Discipline (behavior management), Normal Child Development, Parent-Child Communications, Social Development

Font Size:
A
A
A
Background:
Blank
Blank
Blank
This expert forum is not accepting new questions. Please post your question in one of our medical support communities.
Blank Blank

7yr old daughter masterbating(masturbating)

I just learned that my 7yr old is masterbating (masturbating).  She spends alot of time with my mother, who is single.  I have 3 children, so she enjoys the attention.  My mother found her masterbating (masturbating) and we discussed how to handle it.  I tried to be open, but she is very persistant.  She was embarrassed, but she still masterbated with my mother in the bed.  It was dark and my mom spoke to her again, explaining that it was a private thing and God made us special to feel things, but she was to be home in private.  She proceeded to beg my mom to let her do it the next day.  My mother told her it was a private thing to do at home.  Later that day she came home and at the first chance she got, ran to her room.  I approached her and we talked.  She said that she first saw it on Tom and Jerry!?  And she said that she thinks about things all the time and "adds on" in her mind.  I am so shocked.  She said that she thinks about it at school when kids tie their jackets tight around their arms.  
I want her to be open and talk to me, but she also shares a room with her 4 yr old sister.  I asked her to talk to me when she feels this way, she told me twice yesterday, and we tried keeping her mind off of it, then she asked me if she could "think" about it in her mind.  I am really concerned as to the persistance of her need to masterbate.  I think it is a soothing, comforting tool.  Is it okay to discourage her?  I feel like it is a habit.  She is very sensitive and very well behaved.  She even told me she recently used her foot and did it at a baby shower she was at.  Thanks so much for any help.
Related Discussions
242606_tn?1243786248
It makes perfect sense to tell her that masturbation is normal and OK, and that it needs to occur privately, with no exceptions. Now, the obsessive nature that you describe can be symptomatic of emotional disturbance, and I think you should arrange an evaluation with a mental health professional (child psychologist, pediatric psychiatric social worker, pediatric psychiatric nurse). IT's not the masturbation, but the circumsyances that surround it, that warrant the evaluation.
5 Comments
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
I do not see any problem associated with your daughter's masturbation.  The fact that she discusses it openly with you and is comfortable sharing her thoughts is positive for both of you.  However, this openness appears to be giving you the impression that she is preoccupied with masturbation when in fact it seems that you are overconcerned.  Tell her it's a private thing and your mother is not comfortable with her masturbating in her home.  Outside of that there is no reason to be concerned.  An evaluation or meeting with a psychiatrist will only serve to send the wrong message about masturbation and sex in general and could have far more negative effects than allowing her the pleasure of enjoying her own body in a natural and safe way.  She's found something that feels good and is excited about it.  Let her do what she's going to do and you will likely find that it is something that she enjoys without any interference with the rest of her life.
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
Thank you for both points of view.  I have spoken with her pediatrician and he feels as though it is not an obsession for now.  I am monitoring all in general and I am now opening the door to speak to her about sex in general, age appropriate of course.  I think it will clear up much of the confusion.  Thank you for your opinions!
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
I have this girl in my class named kassie and during class she starts masterbating (masturbating).She sticks her fingers down her pants and her face gets red.I feal really wierd when I see her do it.I dont know what I should do.Should i tell her to stop or just leave it alone.If you have an answer or something related can you please contact me at ***@****. thanks.
                 love,
               brittani
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
I have this girl in my class named kassie and during class she starts masterbating (masturbating).She sticks her fingers down her pants and her face gets red.I feal really wierd when I see her do it.I dont know what I should do.Should i tell her to stop or just leave it alone.If you have an answer or something related can you please contact me at ***@****. thanks.
                 love,
               brittani
Blank
Avatar_m_tn
A related discussion, Masturbation was started.
Blank
Continue discussion Blank
MedHelp Health Answers
Blank
Weight Tracker
Weight Tracker
Start Tracking Now
RSS Expert Activity
469720_tn?1388149949
Blank
Abdominal Aortic Aneurysm-treatable... Blank
Oct 04 by Lee Kirksey, MDBlank
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
The 3 Essentials to Ending Emotiona...
Sep 18 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
Control Emotional Eating with this ...
Sep 04 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank