7yr old son out of control at school

[MrsHerron]

I have a 7yr old child who is out of control at school.  He was diagnosed with ADHD when he was 6, I refused to medicate because I didn't believe he needed it.  The same doctor said he is not ADHD now...he grew out of it.  He has always had issues in day care, Pre-K and now elementary school.  He was a bully but seems to be growing out of the actual hitting part.  Now he is more just verbally a bully.  Ex: He told a boy he reads slow and the school said that is a form of bullying.  He is in the 2nd grade but his testing scores are above average...his reading level is almost 6th grade level.  He is very smart and very bored (his words) in school.  They wanted to move him up a grade last year but due to his behavior, he was not allowed.  We will start seeing a psychiatrist on Feb. 21, 2012 and I just pray they can help!  His biggest problems are, talking-over talking the teacher, mocking her and others.  He also has inappropriate behavior at times (this was really bad before but seems to be getting better).  He also will let some foul language out.  He is very emotional and at home, when he is upset he will cry.  He doesn't cry at school ever.  He is hyper, a comedian, very full of life and energy!  He can be a pain in the butt at home but nothing like at school...mom and dad can handle that quick and stop it.  He loves sports, plays basketball (very well too).  The teacher told me she fears for his future and even suggested he may end up in jail if he continues with this behavior.  As a parent, I am doing everything I possibly can outside of school to help them.  I've changed his diet, removed his TV from his room for good, limit the video games/computer time and put him to bed by 9pm.  Help!  Any advice for this mom?  

[alma3311]

I would also like to add that the teachers have my son on a daily behavior plan, and to me it doesn't seem to work. They have even offered him (toys, stickers, books, coloring and game time) if he reaches his goals.... He has been on this behavior plan since kindergarten with some modification to it for 1st grade... but when the aide who is responsible for marking his tallys on his daily sheet, doesn't make eye contact with ME whenever I am at the school (which is only a handful of times per year, as I work FT) makes me tend to think she simply doenst like my son and lives to mark him as being out of his area or what not - and he often tells me that he doesn't like her and that she is mean to him - he didnt even want to give her the box of Christmas Candy I got for her - ....

[alma3311]

Your son sounds just like my 6 year old son. My son has had issues with daycare centers (which he was expelled from both and asked to not return, as he was considered a liability) 1 preschool and kindergarten too  and is now in the 1st grade... He would mock his teachers, hit his friends, not stay in his seat, hand/foot crawl back to his desk, laugh during reading/math time, disrupt the class, not raise his hand or go back to his seat when told - We have started him on Adderall XR 5 mg last month and I honestly have only seen an improvement during the first few days - Now that he is on the medication, his teacher says he still has bumpy days. I just want him to fit in at school - He is a bright, fun loving child, but whenever I am around (picking him up from school) he will storm out of his classroom without even saying "Hi Mommy" and when I ask about his day, he gets really upset and frustrated and says he doesnt want to talk about it. We are increasing his dose today to 10 MG, I like you refussed to give my son any medication - he has been to two psychologists and 1 pshyciatrist - and only the psychiatrist said he had ADHD, the psychologists said that it was my parenting style and that I needed to stop baby him - And I honestly think he has the "baby syndrom" as he is the youngest of 3 children with a huge age gap between them all. Also think he has a lot of maturing to do, even though he is very smart, and scored above average on his IQ test given at school at the request of the school psychologist. One more thing, my son is the biggest in his class and always has been - He is tall and thin - so when he would push a child down in preschool, it would look like a 6 yr. old pushing a 3 year old and that wasn't the case - So I do believe due to his size, teachers expect more of him, but that isn't going to happen, at least not yet - In any event, good luck on your decision and best of luck to you and your little boy

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

It sounds like your son requires some pretty robust limit setting at school. If a systematic behavior management program is instituted at school you will likely see good improvement. The example that you mentioned that was temed bullying is not tantamount to bullying. Is it inappropriate? Yes, but it's not bullying. While your son's behavior invites concern, it does not invite alarm. One thing to keep an open mind about is the distinct possibility that he display a hyperactivity syndrome.

[MrsHerron]

Let me add that this is a very very loving child towards us.  He says he loves us 100 times a day...even his older sister.  Hugs and kisses all day for mom and sis.