8 YEAR OLD MALE CHILD BEHAVIOUR PROBLEM

[BHS1234]

WE HAVE A 8 YEAR OLD BOY CHILD. FOR PAST 6 MONTHS OR SO HE IS ENGAGING HIMSELF TO SELF STIMULATION OF HIS GENITALS. THOUGH HE IS UNAWARE OF 'MASTURBATION'. THE PROCESS OF SELF STIMULATION WAS EXHIBITED AT SOCIAL PLACES/SCHOOL ETC WHEN HE THOUGHT THAT NOBODY WILL WATCH HIM. OUR CONSTANT COUNCELLING AND MAKE HIM UNDERSTAND HAS RESULTED IN SOME RESULTS BUT NOT COMPLETELY. PLEASE ADVISE/COMMENT AS WHY HE IS BEHAVING IN THIS MANNER, IS IT NORMAL FOR KIDS OF HIS AGE, WILL IT HAVE ANY EFFECT ON HIS PHYSICAL AND MENTAL HEALTH ? FOR YOUR INFORMATION HE IS VERY ENERGETIC AND HYPERACTIVE.
ANOTHER IMPORTANT THING TO MENTION HERE IS THAT WHEN HE WAS ONE N HALF YEAR OLD HE WOULD TURN ON HIS STOMACH AND ENGAGE IN THIS ACTIVITY BY UP N DOWN MOTION OF HIS PELVIS

[davo272003]

HI Bhs,

Everything I have heard has been it is perfectly natural for children to "play" with themselves. I can't see anything wrong with it so long as he is not doing it in public. As this is now happening, then I would be as tactful as possible in trying to let him know it is something that other people don't particulary  want to watch. Jst don't make it a big deal. I can't see what he is doing causing any damage. On the other hand, if you make a big deal out of it, you may make him feel like he is doing something wrong and that in someway he is not normal. That could lead to damaging his self-esteem. I don't think anything he did at age 1 and a half should matter to anyone. I know that some ultra religous people believe that children playing with themselves and,(when reaching puberty), masturbating, they fear negative consequences. I think that these people have the issues. I am sure that most if not all kids innocently "play" with themselves, and most when reaching puberty go on to masturbate, with no physical or mental damage done.

[Jollyfraggle]

Hello I also have an 8 year old boy that has found masterbation (masturbation).  We too have been in counseling with him for around 3-4 years.  Everything is normal!!!!  We explained to him what masterbation (masturbation) was, playing with your penis to make it feel good.  We also emphasied that there was NOTHING wrong with this act, but it was something that is done in private.  In his bedroom alone, in the shower alone..we gave him safe places to explore his body.  We let him know that it was something not to be done at school or in public places. When he was learning the boundaries there were a few mishaps, kids will be kids.  We reminded him again, that there is nothing wrong with exploring your body as long as it is done in the right places.  Again reminding him of his safe places to explore.  If he touches himself inapproprialty in front of me, I simply say, it's not ok to do that in front of me it makes me uncomfortable, if you want to go to your room and do that it is ok...Don't make a big deal about it...they are learning about there bodies.  There is nothing evil or harmful about it, think back to when you first discoverd your body, everybody experiments.  We all have to learn somehow sometime, just set healthy boundaries and don't make it shameful.