8 year old boy climbing into out bed naked

[BoHager]

Try and make a very long story short. Wife and self are now seperated but still trying to work things out. The big reason I left was her 8 year old adopted grandson who still wets his own bed will climd into our bed at 2 or 3 in the morning naked and urin soaked. I would get up with him put dry sheets and blankets on bed put him in and all he would do is yell for mom and she would let him sleep in our bed. The issues I have with this are 1) He is 8 and shouldn't be peeing the bed ( he dosen't wet are bed when he is in it) He has add all the bladder and kindney tests done nothing wrong there. Also was takeing 3 pee bed pills a night and nothing. 2) What was she thiking, I would try for hours to try and get him to sleep in his own bed and the moment I would wake her up for some help she lets him into our bed. I have FMS/CFS and wear a CPAP, What little bit of sleep I do get is very valueable. 3) I dont think it's proper in any way for a 8 year old boy to be naked and in bed with parents. ( not to mention I might sleep in the buff lol ) My whole thinking on the issue is He is to lazy to get up and go to bathroom and knows if he pees the bed he will get to sleep with mom and its been going on for 3 years that i know of so it's a habit! I went to his last Dr appt. just yesterday told Doc what was going on and we both agreed he needed some mental therapy. But she disagrees and wont schedual the appt. She asked me the other day when we were going to get back togeather and I said when we have our bed to ourselves. Her responses was that might be awhile. Please somebody give me some input!! Or am I being unreasonable?

[megochick101]

I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. i think an 8 year old boy should be more than capable of sleeping through the night in his own bed. By her allowing him to continue to come into bed with the two of you, and not letting him sooth himself and sleep alone, she isn't allowing him to be independent and children need to learn independence to survive in the real world.

I don't think it's just plain laziness on his part to pee his bed. It's very possible he is actually peeing in his sleep and then waking up after the fact, but it could also partially be the fact that mom will let him sleep in her bed when it happens, and as this has gone on for 3 years he is used to sleeping with her and not alone.

Also her going against you(letting him sleep with the two of you) after you have tried to help him sleep on his own, is only going to cause him to not respect you as an authoritative or parental figure in the future(or even now) You both need to be on the same page and show a uniform front.

If the doctors are very sure that he has no bladder/urinary/kidney or other problems that could cause the peeing, then I don't see whats wrong with checking all options and seeing if their is another reason for it. I think a counselor can definitely help both of you get to the bottom of this and also give you tools to help solve this problem.