I need some help!! I have 8 year old boy/girl twins. My boy twin has recently developed some serious separation anxiety. His sister shows no signs of this at all. I have been divorced over 6 years, and he doesn't even remember his father and I together, so I don't think the divorce is bothering him. I do not have a man in my life, and he always talks aboout me getting a boyfriend, so I know he needs some male attention. I got a new babysitter for the summer, he was previously in after school care through the YMCA. This babysitter is a 60 year old woman with Grandma qualities. I have asked my older son (12yrs) and my twin daughter if there are any problems with the babysitter, they both say no, not at all. I have tried to offer other options to him, such as going to his grandparents, or to his Dad and stepmoms. He said he can't stand to be away from me. He follows me around my house constantly. If I get out of his sight and cannot find me, he goes crazy.
I took my older son to a concert a few weeks ago and left the babysitter with the twins. It took me over a half an hour to get out of the house...he said he had this bad feeling something was going to happen to me. What do I do?? Do I need to put him into therapy? He has other behavioral issues, such as anger problems (0-100 in a few seconds flat) Not always, but not rare. I really think he has "middle child syndrome" even tho he's really not a middle child. He gets straight A's in school, and is very much advanced for his age. He's always been a mamas boy, but this is getting tiring. Oh, also, he has never mastered bedwetting at night. He still wears a pull up and soaks it every night. I do not have a problem with it, but his Dad and step mother give him grief about it.
By all means seek help for him. The separation anxiety is treatable, and it has reached a point at which it is interfering with his mastery of typical developmental challenges. It sounds like he has many strengths, and he willbe able to make good use of the therapy. The therapist can also be helpful in guiding you regarding day-to-day management at home.
Your son's behaviour reminds me of a friend's son - he was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder at eight years of age. After seeing a child psychologist, my friend enrolled her son in a group therapy session which helped him to manage his anxieties and worries. Anxiety disorders are thought to be inherited, so if your son does indeed suffer from anxiety, then the "separation anxiety" development could have been triggered by a relatively insignificant event.
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