8 year old temper tantrums

[atourwitsend_2]

We have a 8 year old boy who, within the past 3 or so months has begun having extreme mood problems. Throwing things when he doesn't get his way. Refuses to do anything outside of the house. FOr example we wanted to go to Monster Trucks in a few weeks, but he refuses to go. If we do go, he will ahve his head down the entire time and will not even give it a chance. HE would rather play XBox etc than talk to anyone. If he doesn't do as well on a game as the adults do, he will throw the controller and say he is stupid and can't do anything. We have taken Xbox computers away from him, but the problem doesn't end. If he plays a board game with his sister (11) the same thing happens. We had a recent incident with one of the kids at school when the boy didn't stop throwing snowballs at him (even though my son never told him to stop) my son pushed the boy down to the ground. He said, I could tell he wouldn't stop if I asked him to...

He is an honours student at school (Straight A's on his last report card) very attenative etc there. I have talked to the teacher and she says he is a well adjusted respectful boy all the time. The flip side of this is that he will have extreme happy (to the point of being giddy) as well. I have only noticed this behaviour recently, but it has be concerned. Both my his dad and I try talking to him, trying to figure out what is going on, but all I get is the evil eye (when he is upset) or he completely ignores us if he is in a happy state. Any ideas here, we have tried just about every dicispline that we can think of.  HELP anyone have a similar sit.

[layladoc]

Wow, I did a Google Search for 8 year old tantrums and came upon this forum. Although I have not read all, I feel that I have read enough to know that I am not alone here. I have cried, yelled, whispered, practiced breathing (his magic square and my own therapy tool box) I have stood "seemingly unfazed by the behavior" I have rationalized, taken toys away, read books (together and apart) on and on and on, in less than a two year period.
I am a 36 year old Woman, who spent the majority of her "adulthood" in the Army. From 1997 to 2011 I was SSG Marr. Then after a third deployment, comes home broken in spirit and body. I was rescued by a stray dog's pups (My now three year old dog.) and a Young single Father.

I look back over the last two years and how I became WE. A strange concept because I do not have biological children, I have a Dog who is very much my child however he is becoming the best friend of a young boy who stole my heart.       AND THEN.....WHAM-MO

In the last 6 months I have exhausted every avenue I can think of and the Counselor we see constantly chuckles and has reading material for me because I always ask, "where is the manual". "What book do I need to read, how can I study for this test that is a child?"

Today I was reassured at his weekly counseling session when I learned that sometimes "in children it can get worse before it gets better", I laugh because we all have the potential to be like that.
This weeks lessons have been, why it is dangerous to Huck an air hockey puck, even though you didn't mean to hit anyone because you were only throwing the puck because you were frustrated at the game. but ended up hitting someone in the face ......sound familiar anyone?
Then after his father talks to him, he apologizes to me and for the next few days, hours, minutes, he clings to me telling me how much he loves me.
I really don't know. In my stations I know there are extenuating circumstances that any child may have difficulty adjusting to, however (the medic in me) says that if a child poses a risk to harm himself or someone else, we have a responsibility and in my case, coming into a ready made family, the only experience I have is being the oldest of 5. I'm flabbergasted and maybe old fashion.
If I can offer any encouragement! I am holding strong (with the help of a wonderful father/fiance) and a great support group within the family and within the team of counselors, therapist, psychiatrists and pediatricians. Our Son is a very well mannered, smart, witty, funny and sweet young boy. The "jeckle" that has come out in the last 6 months is frightening. I don't have an answer yet, only empathy, understanding, and a bond with people seeking the same answers.

[specialmom]

My son's issues aren't food related.  I went the route of determining that.  my son has sensory integration disorder.  Looks a lot like add/adhd.  you do occupational therapy to treat this along with behavior modification.  Worked very well for my son who is now 9 and doing very well.  He's never needed medication but the answer wasn't so simple as changing his diet.  It did take a good amount of effort and work that my husband and I and my son (who had to do a lot of the things we asked of him) to conquer his challenges.  Every child is different though.  I imagine that most people are doing the best they can for their child.  Some may needlessly being medicated and I certainly wouldn't enter into that without a ton of knowledge and skepticism.  however, there are some kids that do better on medication and they themselves are significantly happier.  

the 99% number is inaccurate (proof?) and yes, what you'd expect from a naturopath (a group that does like to make a lot of promises and take a ton of money for them).  But agree that I'm sure some behavior issues are related to multiple things and aren't all just add/adhd.  My son is case in point.  

luck to all parents trying to help their children.  

[Wvdimick]

Oh how I cringe when reading all the drugs we are cramming down our babies. I wish more people would listen to what you are saying!!! My 8 yr old is exactly like these others on this thread. I have had hair samples and saliva testing.... Tons of over the top toxins, heavy metals I. Body and food allergies. Our naturopath said 99% of behavior issues come from food allergies and toxin build up in body results in the irrational behavior , short circuiting so to speak in our children

[dlandis]

Hi everyone.  I have a 7 year old boy who is doing the same thing. He is such a smart kid, very social, does great in school. But when at home, if he does not get what he wants, a switch goes off in his head and he becomes unbearable. He punches, kicks, pinches,bites. It's really hard on the rest of the family. I just made an appointment with his Dr. as we need some help! I thought he would get better but he is getting worse. He now will act out like this in front of my in laws. Something he never would have done in the past. But like many others have said, he definitely can control when and where he will act out. Spanking does NOT work. I am so frustrated.

[pixy773]

We do spank!! doesn't phase the kid!!  I think you need to re-read some of the comments. The parents are saying they have spanked and that it really isn't working. There is something else wrong!!

[Sandman2]

   This sounds a lot like post traumatic stress as a result of the bullying.  The school needs to be much more involved.  They need to let your son know that he is safe.  They need to protect him!   ( I assume these things happened at school).  A child psychologist will help.  By the way, if this did happen at school, they also should be paying for the psyc.
  Hope your son gets better soon.
   You might want to consider buying some of Aldof Moser's books like "Don't pop your cork on Mondays".  And reading it with your child.
          http://www.amazon.com/Dont-Pop-Your-Cork-Mondays/dp/0933849184/ref=cm_cr_pr_sims_t