8 yr old son found out to be behaving sexually with 6 yr old friend

[anjel]

yesterday my neighbor lady came over and told me while I was at the grocery and my husband was outside doing yard work, during which time her 6 yr old son and my 8 yr old son were in my house in the playroom, that her son who has been in therapy for
issues involving sex, came to her and told her that my son had asked her son to take his pants down and that my son did the same, and that then my son asked the other child to touch him and touched the other child back.  My husband and I talked with our son and asked him where this behavior came from and discussed why it's inappropriate to touch someone in that way.
My son knew it was wrong.  He took off to another part of the neighborhood after the neighbor lady told him she was coming to talk with us. I'm still in shock.  We didn't display anger to our son, only concern.  It was also brought to our attention that the same thing happened between the two boys about a year ago and the neighbor opted not to tell us.
I don't have details as to why the neighbor's son is in therapy, she didn't offer alot on that.  I don't know if I should be
more than normally concerned or if my son needs therapy or how we should move forward with this issue, other than 100% supervision.  My husband had a long talk with our son about
the issue and answered some curious natured questions regarding sex.  I have this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach and I'm scared!  We have also asked our son if he's been touched in that way by someone else and he says no.  we have offered understanding and concern to him and told him we are here for him if/when he needs to talk and while we know it may be embarrassing for him, we welcome discussion with him about feelings or thoughts, or questions he may have.
Please tell me what to do with this situation. and what level of concern should I have? He's an only child.. I assure you we do not watch TV thats racy or have movies that are bad. we are 50 yr old parents to an 8 yr old boy whos soon to be 9.
HELP!

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

You already know that close supervision is required, particularly during play between the two boys. While you know of the other occasion, my guess is that this type of behavior has occurred on other occasions with the two boys as well. When such a thing occurs, it is always sensible to inform the other parent. This is information that parents need to have so that they can respond to it. You are setting sound limits - i.e., no touching others and no allowing others to touch you. While therapy per se may well not be necessary, it might help to schedule an appointment with a pediatric mental health clinician who can evaluate your son and offer you guidance. You might well rest easier if you follow such a path.

[kathern]

you need to be very concerend with this situation and take things into your hands, only if you do not want a gay son.

[D99G03]

Please excuse me, but this has nothing to do with homosexuality and that is a very ignorant comment ... I think that it is (overall) normal childhood curiousity and depending on the maturity level etc. of the 8 yr. old, he may not FULLY understand how inappropriate these episodes are.  

I can't help but also feel that the 6yr. old may have instigated these episodes though.  Especially where he has some issues, possibly even in this area? (and your son doesn't, and you are open with him) I know you don't want to forbid interaction for fear of sending the wrong message, but honestly, if it were my 6 yr. old son, I'd minimize their play time ... even supervised.  And I'd probably get him some counseling.  Relax mom, don't beat yourself up!  You seem to be loving, caring parents and in most cases, that is all a child needs to be (mentally) healthy.  

Good luck!