8 yr. old son has strange sexual questions and ideas

[april88]

My 8 y/o son about 8 mo. ago seemd to REALLY notice females. He is preoccupied with breasts. His comments started that he would like to touch the breasts of a teacher at his school, then he progressed to wanting to kiss them. Then he had fantasies of being wrapped in her breasts and drinking milk from them. He once told me that while he was taking a shower he imagined that the water coming from the shower was really milk and he was drinking it. He also mentioned that while in class, if a girl class mate of his would ask to use the restroom, he would imagine what the girl looked like whild using the restroom. (I tried to down play these questions though I have been panicking inside). He has recently told me that he has thought of kissing his 6 y/o sister's "breasts". I explained to him this was very inappropriate thinking and that he should think of something else (I didn't know what else to say). He now has explained to me that he thinks of kissing my "pee pee" and his 6 y/o sister's "pee pee". I am VERY distressed by this and I don't think this is normal. It seems to me that he is obsessed with these thoughts. Just a little family history. I am not with my children's father they have had no contact with him for 4 years now. My children watch Disney Channel on the weekends only, no suggestive music, no movies, TV or video games that are suggestive in the slightest. They do not visit their friends homes, thieir friends come to our house. I am lost as to find a reason for these thoughts. Both my children are very sheltered. I haven't had the "full" birds and the bees talk yet. Should I get my son counseling? He seems to feel comfortable in telling me ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING. When does normal become abnormal? How should I handle this? One other thing, my son is a good boy, the sweetest child, not aggressive and is almost too kind to the other children, to the point he is taken advantage of. He does at times seem somewhat emotionally immature, ie., he is very loud sometimes, and has this WILD immagnation about warping through time and living in underground homes and driving around in flying cars. He doesn't have very many friends because the other kids say he is strange sometimes. He seems insecure and needing of approval from other people. I tell him every day how wonderful, smart, kind and special he is. What should I do? I ask him if he likes himself and he says yes. Does my son need professional help?

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Your description indicates that your son has a number of strengths, and these will serve him well. He also has some thoughts that are, as you suggest, not within the norm for a child. Because of this it would make sense to arrange an evaluation with a child clinical psychologist, child ppsychiatrist, pediatric psychiatric social worker or pediatric psychiatric nurse. It will be important to rule out the presence of thought disorder. At the very least, there is some indication that his insecurity in the 'real' world is prompting him to retreat to fantasies, and this inclination is also having an impact on his relationships with peers. So by all means arrange an evaluation.

[girly14]

I think that he's talking about breasts because maybe he needes to get out more i think you should take him to a theme park like disney !! kids love that place you can take him there he can forget all  about breasts maybe and love goofie ,dumbo.It will distrack him. But the good thing is that he's not afraid to tell you any thing so when he gets older he's not afraid to tell you anything. you should watch him maybe his friends are talking about breasts or maybe a show!

It's a 50% that this will work if it doesn't don't be afraid to get help

             good luck :)

[tomel]

I dont think it matters if he gets out or not. Kids think these things at one point or another and all kids are different, so not all of them go thru this. My husband remembers looking up his moms nightgown to see what was up there.

[ticked]

it is good that he is communicating with you like that.  I thinking that you should openly talk to him about these issues.  Ask him if he has seen this on TV or if his friends talk about this etc etc.  Just keep asking him questions.  Doesnt hurt to get him seen my a doctor as well.  Communication is very important.  If if were my child i would certianly not wait to say something i would be all over it.  I too am a single mother and my daughter has never seen her father.  She is three.  I cant guarantee that she say things like that but i would definitley talk about it with him.  Boys start having sex early and some kids get pregnant early.  Its not like when we or the generation before has children.  These children are adults from 8-10 with there minds.  You should definitley talk to him about sex at this age.  Now is the best time to start. :)

I wish you all the luck

angela

[siren of the sea]

i would talk to him about the possibility of one of his friends having talked or touched him. very interesting. im glad he is so open and honest with you. that is great. my son will be 8 soon and has shown interest at looking at women/girls but if you question him he gets embaressed.

[april88]

Thank you for all your responses. I am the mother of the 8 yr. old son with the strange thoughts. Well, the thoughts got stranger fast. They became violent, sexual, totally bizarre and he became what I thought was paranoid. Like I said, he went down hill very quickly. I briefly spoke to his doctor about what was happening and he told me to just tell him to stop saying such things. When I told my doctor what was going on he said my son needed to be on anti-psychotic drugs. I researched for days and days and I came to the conclusion that my son had OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). I found a specialist in OCD who works primarily with children and after meeting with my son she said indeed that is what he has. He actually has what is called Morbid OCD. This is actually very common. Sadly, this is a very "cruel" condition. The nicer the person the more horrible the thoughts, the more religious the person the more blastfamous the thoughts, etc... Anyway, he has been to the psychologist about 5x's. I have put my son on a natural therapy and his symptoms have gotten 90% better. They say there is no cure for OCD but I don't believe "them". I believe my son has mercury posioning in the brain from his immunizations (Thimersol was used as a preservative, mercury based). I am having his fillings removed next week and replaced with composite. Anyone with children with OCD, ADD, ADHD, Autism, ODD, Depression, etc.... These all fall under "anxiety" disorders. Please read the book, Natural Cures They don't want you to know about. 30 yrs ago 1 in 500,000 children had Autism, today it is 1 in 166. 1 in 40 children have OCD. I implore anyone with children or grandchildren to google "mercury posioning" and you will be shocked at what you'll find. Our children have been posioned and "they" knew it. I am curing my son and NOT just treating the symptoms, its the CAUSE I'm after. There is a lot of support and help out there. Let everyone know. I am! Check out generation rescue web site and see what is going on. Did you know mercury is the 2nd most toxic element - only 2nd to plutonium and it was actually "required" that we inject this into our children (yes, there was fine print that said for religous reasons we could not have our children immunized but very few knew of this loophole). The highest levels of Thimersol (mercury) were put in our children's immunizations between 1983 and 2000(2). Even though it has supposedly been taken off the market doctors still turn a blind eye to using the Thimersol immunizations. Please do your research. Its time we get angry and stop what is happening to our children. Children now wait in line at the nurses office for Ritilin, Concerta, etc... - do you remember that when you were a kid. Me neither! I just want EVERYONE to know! I owe it to you and your kids. Thanks for reading and God Bless.

[stepmamacita]

A related discussion, Strange question from a 6 year old was started.

[levi_ocd]

A related discussion, Mercury Amalgams was started.