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Child Behavior (Expert Forum)
8 yr old that changed for the worse basically overnight.
Answered by
Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D. - Child and Adolescent Psychotherapy, Family Therapy, Crisis Intervention
Harvard Vanguard Medical Associates
This forum is for questions and support regarding child behavior issues such: Child Discipline (behavior management), Normal Child Development, Parent-Child Communications, Social Development
8 yr old that changed for the worse basically overnight.
by Sandy, May 15, 2000 12:00AM
My husband and I have 3 children, an 8 yr old girl who is his, a 8 yr old girl who is mine and a 7 mo. old boy that is ours (though all the kids we consider as "ours"). We have been together since the girls were about 3 years old. We are talking about his 8 year old girl.
Over the last 2 years she has become a totally different child and it happened "overnight" 2 years ago. Here is some history: Her mother is deceased (when she was 2 years old) and my daughter's father sees her about once a year. In the beginning it was my daughter with some issues. That has passed and now she has become a well rounded child. However, his daughter has changed. She is a bright child and was at the top of her class in pretty much all of her studies. She had tons of fun and got along great with everyone. Her mothers mom and step dad have tried to get custody of her eversince her mother died. About 2 1/2 yrs ago they took us to court again. We found out that they we're abusive to both girls. The court found them mentally unstable and gave them no visitation. She was very happy about that. She had gotten to the point where she would cry when she had to go and would have nightmares for days after she came back.
About 2 years ago she started throwing fits about little things, such as snack right before dinner, from there it has only gotten worse. In the last 2 years she has lied continuously, been caught stealing at home as well as at school, eaten out of the trash, her grades have really droped, she has practically no friends. She cries when she doesn't get what she wants to eat and does not eat it when she does(sometimes takes 1hour or more to eat just a banana), she will not get ready for school on time and always misses the bus. She is constantly disrupting her class. Just lately she started using the whole house as the toilet. She does not wash herself in the shower, comb her hair or brush her teeth anymore. She now dresses very sloppy and usually like a boy. She asks me to pick out her clothes and when I do she will change them. Punishing her does not phase her at all. Infact, after the punishing is over she walks around the house singing and skipping, then she will do it all over again. We have noticed that when my husband and I are not getting along because of these problems she seems to mind alittle better. We have had her in counceling twice and she continues to get worse, and she does not like going. She sometimes misses out on things because of her behavior, and says she acts this way because she does not get to do everything. When she behaves, there is nothing she misses out on. We have tried everything we can think of, we have taken advice from others. PLEASE HELP............
Over the last 2 years she has become a totally different child and it happened "overnight" 2 years ago. Here is some history: Her mother is deceased (when she was 2 years old) and my daughter's father sees her about once a year. In the beginning it was my daughter with some issues. That has passed and now she has become a well rounded child. However, his daughter has changed. She is a bright child and was at the top of her class in pretty much all of her studies. She had tons of fun and got along great with everyone. Her mothers mom and step dad have tried to get custody of her eversince her mother died. About 2 1/2 yrs ago they took us to court again. We found out that they we're abusive to both girls. The court found them mentally unstable and gave them no visitation. She was very happy about that. She had gotten to the point where she would cry when she had to go and would have nightmares for days after she came back.
About 2 years ago she started throwing fits about little things, such as snack right before dinner, from there it has only gotten worse. In the last 2 years she has lied continuously, been caught stealing at home as well as at school, eaten out of the trash, her grades have really droped, she has practically no friends. She cries when she doesn't get what she wants to eat and does not eat it when she does(sometimes takes 1hour or more to eat just a banana), she will not get ready for school on time and always misses the bus. She is constantly disrupting her class. Just lately she started using the whole house as the toilet. She does not wash herself in the shower, comb her hair or brush her teeth anymore. She now dresses very sloppy and usually like a boy. She asks me to pick out her clothes and when I do she will change them. Punishing her does not phase her at all. Infact, after the punishing is over she walks around the house singing and skipping, then she will do it all over again. We have noticed that when my husband and I are not getting along because of these problems she seems to mind alittle better. We have had her in counceling twice and she continues to get worse, and she does not like going. She sometimes misses out on things because of her behavior, and says she acts this way because she does not get to do everything. When she behaves, there is nothing she misses out on. We have tried everything we can think of, we have taken advice from others. PLEASE HELP............
Doctor's Answer
by Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D., May 16, 2000 12:00AM
, May 16, 2000 12:00AM
Dear Sandy,
Your description indicates that, at age six, and around the time of the custody issue with the grandparents, this little girl underwent an acute change that has persisted ever since. This is a somewhat unusual presentation and, generally, abrupt changes in functioning stem from disruption and stress in the child's environment. Now, with the persistence of the behavior over time, in spite of interventions, I wonder about a mood disorder and would recommend your re-contacting her clinicians or obtaining help from someone new to the situation. This is not likely to improve if you let it rrst with your own efforts alone.
Your description indicates that, at age six, and around the time of the custody issue with the grandparents, this little girl underwent an acute change that has persisted ever since. This is a somewhat unusual presentation and, generally, abrupt changes in functioning stem from disruption and stress in the child's environment. Now, with the persistence of the behavior over time, in spite of interventions, I wonder about a mood disorder and would recommend your re-contacting her clinicians or obtaining help from someone new to the situation. This is not likely to improve if you let it rrst with your own efforts alone.
