8yr old - nervous/crying about school

[needadvice195]

My 8 year old son, in 3rd grade is very nervous about school.  Most mornings he cries and tells me he is nervous.  He has a very nice teacher that he just switched to for help on this - she is more understanding and softer speaking.  He told me he really likes his new class better than the old one, but I feel terrible that he is so nervous to go in the mornings.  I am not sure what the correct approach is... do I just leave him with the teacher in the morning - crying and upset - hoping he will get over it eventually?  Or do I pull him from school altogether and home school him?   Anyone have this problem?  Anyone tried medication?   I don't know what to do.....

[91004]

Are you sure the kids arent teasing him. Does he actually cry when left there. And does he have any friends. The reason I ask could have alot to do with it. Have you tried  asking his doc about this issue.

[needadvice195]

Thanks for the reply - The other kids are not teasing, they even try to help him feel better.  He has some friends but is just so nervous that he rarely interacts with them.  I feel pretty sure that he has social anxiety - from what i've read.  But what I need to know is if leaving him in the morning at school upset is the right thing to do???

[jdtm]

I belong to a support group for teachers and parents of children who suffer from anxiety.  Our child suffers from extreme anxiety but due to proper treatment, she is doing very well today (she is now a teenager).  By the way, treatment for anxiety in older children (and your son is approaching the "older" category), usually involves a multi-modal approach - perhaps intervention, therapy and possibly medication.

First, leaving him at school upset in the morning is probably the best thing for him (and the hardest for you).  Research claims the best way to "beat" fears/anxieties is to face them - although we're talking months and perhaps years.  As you probably have guessed, if your son does indeed suffer from anxiety, he will not outgrow it nor will it go away.  Since it appears that your son will require help in learning how to manage his fears, I might suggest you see your family physician.  If he/she is not experienced in anxiety issues, then request a referral to a medical specialist with experience in this area as a child psychiatrist or child neurologist or even a child psychologist (although this person cannot prescribe medication).    This person should be able to advise you on how best to help your child.  Anxiety is a very common disorder in both children and adults and is highly treatable.  If you have any further questions that you feel that I might be able to offer assistance, please write.  I wish you the best ...