9 month babe girl

My 9 month baby seems to be scare of her dad, ,every time he gets close to her  she starts crying and screaming for help.We can't even play with her when he is home everything he gets really frustrated with her. This problem Is creating lots of tension between me and my husband; he thinks that i'm  doing nothing to get her to stop crying with him. Is getting to the point in which i have to be mean to her so she doesn't wanna be with me no more...  don't know what to do no more. I want both of us to enjoy our baby. problems seem to be getting worst and worst... please help..

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

First, it is not unusual for young children to go through phases when they prefer one parent more than the other, particularly when it comes to soothing them. Second, it is absolutely wrongheaded for you and your husband to be handling this the way you are. He should be responding in a more level headed way, with understanding and patience, not with defensiveness and taking it personally. You too should be responding in a more calm manner, not reacting with anger toward your child. Both of you have to display more equanimity - your daughter is not even a year old and you are acting like she is making a conscious, thoughtful decision to reject her father. That is not what is occurring. It would be more helpful for you and your husband to calmly examine the situation and see what you can discover about why your daughter might be acting in this fashion. It may have very little to do with his behavior. That is, it may simply be a reflection of your daughter's preference for you and your way of interacting with her. On the other hand, perhaps your husband is contibuting to the reaction. Perhaps he is too loud, perhaps he is not patient and soothing enough with your daughter. Take a step back, stop reacting emotionally to this and try to figure it out together.