9 year old. disturbing behavior

Hi, my son has been going through somewhat of an awkward stage. My first concern is his sleep problems. We recently moved in with my mom. I decorated his room really nice and put everything around him that he loves. He won't stay in his bed because he say's he is seeing and hearing things. He won't take a shower alone. He seem's genuinly afraid to be alone. My next problem is his extreme interest in all things bloody and gorey. He draws pictures of people dying and falling out of buildings. My las issue is he is inappropriate. He grabs my private areas and says he's only trying to be funny. He asks a lot of sexual questions. He has also told me he is jealous when I hug and kiss my husband(his father). I've had a million talks with him and grounded him countlessly but nothing is helping. Please help.

[yngdad]

From a guys point of view. What u described is really normal for boys. Well, aside from the shower and bed thing. Most boys his age don't want to shower with anyone because they are more independent. Do u baby him? If so that could be the bed and shower problems. As for hium drawing that stuff its disturbing, but boys like the idea of blood and gore. Violence is in most boys blood. Not saying he's going to grow up and be a mass murderer just saying violence is cool in video games and movies, etc. Touching and asking about sex is very normal aswell. He is growing up and is curious. Just be glad he's asking u about sex and not his friends. Touching is because ur body is different then his. My sons are 6 and twin 3 year olds. Every now and then that happens. I don't punish them because it would make curiousity seem like a bad thing. (NO I don't let them do it) but I simply tell them that its not a good thing to touch anyone elses private parts. Ur son is older and grounding would probably work. I wouldn't put him in the corner though. He is too old for the corner. Maybe take his video games away for a few hours or his favorite toys, or the computer or tv, ipod etc. That would work better, but if u do decide to use this method tell him the consiquences before hand. That way he can't say he didn't know. Make sure u stick to the punishment if u take his video games away for 2 hours keep it the whole 2 hours. Good luck with him. Hope I could help.

[jdtm]

I might suggest you post on the Child Behavior Expert Forum where you could get advice from a medical doctor.  This sounds serious.   I wish you the best ...

[Sandman2]

  Kids of this age don't adjust easily to change. I don't know how long you have been with Mom in the new house, but,  I would think that at least part of this is the new move.  
  I don't know what you do when he won't stay in bed, but if he gets to sleep with you or watch tv until he falls asleep - he won't change.  Tough love.  Don't let him out of the room.
  He won't take a shower alone?  So what happens?  
  Boys of his age drawing bloody and gory things is not that unusual.  It's easy to draw, fun, and mimics what they see in video games or on tv.  If his actions are bloody and gory, that's a whole different matter.
  I think the grabbing and the sexual questions kind of go together.  Puberty is starting early or he has been watching some advanced tv.
  He grabs any private area.  Go to an immediate timeout - at least 20 min. I don't know how your grounding works, but the punishment has to be immediate!  Grounding tends to happen later and is not as effective.  The timeout should be something like a chair in the corner where he can do nothing.  Not sent to his room where he can play games.
  He also seems like he is a bit starved for attention.  New move can contribute.  I don't know if you also have any other younger kids that he has to compete with.  But along with the "tough love", do make some extra time for him.  And if you have moved into a whole new neighborhood and left all the friends behind - its even harder for him.  If he is able to go back into his old school, i would think a lot of this will end when that happens.  If he is going to a new school - do all you can to make it familiar for him.  Take him to it several times and walk the grounds before school starts.  Do all you can to encourage new friends in the neighborhood, etc.

[yngdad]

From a guys point of view. What u described is really normal for boys. Well, aside from the shower and bed thing. Most boys his age don't want to shower with anyone because they are more independent. Do u baby him? If so that could be the bed and shower problems. As for hium drawing that stuff its disturbing, but boys like the idea of blood and gore. Violence is in most boys blood. Not saying he's going to grow up and be a mass murderer just saying violence is cool in video games and movies, etc. Touching and asking about sex is very normal aswell. He is growing up and is curious. Just be glad he's asking u about sex and not his friends. Touching is because ur body is different then his. My sons are 6 and twin 3 year olds. Every now and then that happens. I don't punish them because it would make curiousity seem like a bad thing. (NO I don't let them do it) but I simply tell them that its not a good thing to touch anyone elses private parts. Ur son is older and grounding would probably work. I wouldn't put him in the corner though. He is too old for the corner. Maybe take his video games away for a few hours or his favorite toys, or the computer or tv, ipod etc. That would work better, but if u do decide to use this method tell him the consiquences before hand. That way he can't say he didn't know. Make sure u stick to the punishment if u take his video games away for 2 hours keep it the whole 2 hours. Good luck with him. Hope I could help.

[Lynndv]

Great advice dad. My son is 7 and very curious as well. I make sure he knows its inappropriate to touch but that there are obvious differences between him and I. Without going into much detail my son is just 7. I agree you will spike their curiosity if you shun the subject. 9 is too old for the corner. My son is so curious about bloody things and just as scared at night. we constinously take things out of his room or have talks with regards to real and fiction. Kids are going to be exposed to it eventually hopefully later rather than sooner but they need to feel comfotable enough to come to their parents who an give them the right answers. If hes scared in the shower maybe you can leave the door ajar if it has a curtain or knock on the door to let him know you are around. I'm 38 and still scared to be alone in my house.lol I like yngdads post i think that is great advice and coming from a guy even makes it better.

[yngdad]

Well thank u,ur post was good too.