Child Behavior Community
9 year old out of controle
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9 year old out of controle

hi my name is lori and i have a 9 year old  that at first we had a bad start with his dad he turned in to a druggy and i payed the price and my son seen it all. i ran from there and did not look back. my son startes a few years ago with a eating disorder because of stumoch problems. he has motion sickness like i have never heard of he is on a patch for it.. around the age of 5-6 i caught him in his play room with a screw driver stabbing holes in a box  over and over again he had been doing it for days every time he got mad at me.there had to be over a 100 holes now before you judge me he was smart enough to cover the box so i would not find it and the screw driver and his play room is on the second floor..he was trowing fits but not to bad at this point. then he bit a bully and very hard on the bus.. he was  getting picked on every day..i called the school and they did nothing..i took him to get him help and was doing good till the guy told him it was alright he was not eating and i really had a mess why this dr. did this i don't know. we are up to now he has adhd and i had to have him put in a mental hosptal for a week and he came back worse then before. i had to put him in because he was raising his fist to hit me and screaming in my face saying if i called for help he would kill them and he would scratch his own face and beat his own head off the wall. had been doing this for some time..throwing this going off for no reason won't stop putting holes in walls and talking about jumping out the 2nd story window. he is home schooled now and i am having all kinds of trouble.. he won't pick up throws fits and just down right refuses and says why should i.. but in the next monent he is a different child saying he is sorry because be the time it's over i'm in tears.and he'll be fine for a while this will happen when he don't get his way to..i do got him getting help but i'm not liking her very much..the hospital he was at says he is adhd,defient disorder,exsplose disorder. and the new person says it''s only defient disorder? please help!!!!!!
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I have a 9 year old grandson  whose mother, (my daughter) and his father, were both on drugs. My daughter stopped long enough to be clean for the birth, but went back to drugs the 1st week after his birth, while I was staying with them, to help with him, it was her first child. She wouldn't breastfeed, later it turned out it was because she planned on using immediately after his birth. To make a long story shorter, he began hitting himself first on the doors, then eventually hitting himself in the face by 1 1/2 or so. I went to court, fought for legal guardianship, it was obvious by this time my daughter was on heroin and his dad was on crank. David, my grandson, was getting no attention, and just having bottles of whole milk popped in his mouth. He was diagnosed with failure to thrive, and by 3 1/2 had to have ALL of his teeth pulled, they were SO rotten from the constant bottles. It was only last year when his adult teeth came in that we were sure they even would! I remember it took about 2 years for him to gradually stop hitting himself in the face, and it wasn't usually when he was mad, it was just constant. The therapist said it is a childs last line of defense. they don't get attention by banging on a door, wher a parent might be, and hitting things don't get them anywhere, and FINALLY they begin hitting themself. It was horrible, and unending, and we couldn't do anything...but he gradually stopped, and didn't begin talking until 3 1/2, except for saying uh-oh. I am the only one that has been able to really get close to him. When he gets hurt, he doesn't cry, but if I am there, he might run to me. There has been NO contact with his mom at all, and he doesn't even remember her. His father might as well be gone, he seees him MAYBE 3 times a year, for a couple of hours, and I have to supervise him, although I do hair follicle tests, and he has been drug-free whenever he DOES come around. He is beginning to act out, and although I have been consistent with him, he doesn't get close to anybody BUT me. If he says something mean to me, he gets afraid, and says he is sorry, but he is SO different than my 3 children were growing up. I worry that he will have trouble connecting later especially, since I have been the only constant in his life. He is VERY smart, but doesn't apply himself, and doesn't seem to care about the consequences, except when I get mad. (the teacher...forget it, he doesn't even care) I hope I am not projecting problems in the future, but I don't think so. This same daughter had another child, who was addicted to heroin at birth, and had Tetrolagy of Fallot (blue baby syndrome, where all 4 valves of his heart were affected, he isn't expected to live until 18, and has had 3 surgeries already, and just turned 6.) He is like a raging animal. They found him on the streets of L.A. panhandling with his father, a different one than my other grandson. He was growling, and barking like a dog, and my ex-husband, who met him when he was 4, said all he did was kick him and tell him he was going to kill him, etc. He is in foster care now,and his social worker said he has never been socialized, and asked me questions about his birth, etc. I had never even met him,but tried to locate him, and only KNEW he was born when Child protective Services called me and told me they had a heroin addicted baby, and the mom, my daughter, was missing. (it seemed I was on her contact card) Somehow she got ahold of the baby, fled the county, and right now they are looking for her for Felony Gross Child Neglect and Abuse, and she has lost all Parental rights, PERMANENTALY! I feel like it is too late for him, and it is SO sad. I was asked to adopt, but I knew all the progress I had made with my 1st grandson would be ruined, and because I am physically disabled, I literally COULDN'T do it! None of the relatives understand, "Well, you did such a good job with DAVID, you can just do it again!' Funny, but none of them would offer to try! And they weren't disabled. Your son could be acting out because of your husbands drug use, or more likely, because he just left, it is amazing how many things they are affected by. I wish you all the best, and I know what you are going through, even though my situation did improve, the longer his parents were away. I have always had a terrible time gettting him to eat anything, and he so rarely says he is hungry, I worry about malnutrition, and need to figure out how to get him to take vitamins. I love him SO much, and he loves ME so much, and he does show it to me, but later, well, I worry when he gets a girlfriend, or gets married, and he is very handsome, and SO intelligent. But he need to be able to talk about things, with ssomeone other than me. He has a mentor at school, but when I recently asked him if David talks to him, (and I KNOW David likes him), he said NO, but they get along fine!He was left a full college scholarship, from his great-grandmother, so I am working with him really hard to instill the benefits of school, but it has been so hard.
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