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Child Behavior (Expert Forum)
9 yr. old boy chooses to spend more time with father
Answered by
Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D. - Child and Adolescent Psychotherapy, Family Therapy, Crisis Intervention
Harvard Vanguard Medical Associates
This forum is for questions and support regarding child behavior issues such: Child Discipline (behavior management), Normal Child Development, Parent-Child Communications, Social Development
9 yr. old boy chooses to spend more time with father
by 12121212, Feb 23, 2002 12:00AM
what should you do if custody has not been decided and the boy would like to spend more of his time with his father.his mom will not listen to what he wants. his mother left his father when he was 3 yr.s old and moved into another mans home with her son.ever since he has had behavoir problems.the board of education did a behavoir assesment test on him when he was 5 yr.s old.the overall summary of this test was impulsive talking and responding, including frequent bossing of classmates,does not feel secure in regard to his skills and accomplishments, and that some intervention is called for. most of these things we have not seen that much of a change in the past several years. he seems to have a lot of anger inside and can be very mean to others.also his mother does not spend that much time with him and the man she is still living with is an alcoholic.here are some more examples of his behavoir:Very smart but rushes through assigned work, talks way too loudly, acts without thinking, interrupts others while speaking, cannot wait to take turns, argues when denied own way, blames others, bullies others, breaks other childrens things, talks back to teachers, orders others around, shows off, complains about the rules, hits other children, is a sore loser.this is why we think he needs a stronger role model in his life like his father.please give some advice to what we should do on all aspects of the problems we are facing.
Doctor's Answer
by Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D., Feb 25, 2002 12:00AM
, Feb 25, 2002 12:00AM
Indications are that this boy displays symptoms of emotional disturbance, most likely in the diagnostic areas of Disruptive Behavior Disorder and/or Mood Disorder. It would be prudent to have him evaluated by a mental health clinician to pin down the diagnosis and to guide you re: a sensible plan for intervention.
Member Comments (2)
by sadie1977, Feb 23, 2002 12:00AM
Hi I am not an expert in any manner but I would say that you should try to talk it out with the mother. If the mother does not want to hear of it than go to the court. The son should be allowed to make that choose. Have you thought of (no offense) letting the mother father and child talk this over. I understand your situation. I am a biological mother to two boys and a step mother to a boy and a girl. However sometimes that is not possible. I do however believe that even if you go to court you should NEVER EVER say anything in any way negative towards or about the mother. It might also be nice to ask the mother if she would be willing to let the boy pick out which weeks or weekends he would like to spend with whom...Please keep this in mind...You your husband and the mother may feel like he is rejecting one of them and taking the other..But it is not about that..It is about making your child feel safe and make this into a good situation...EX>>>(See son you are soo wanted by everyone..It must be nice to be so wanted you are the greatest..and we cherish every moment that we get with you) Just a thought again it is only my two cents..Good luck and God bless
