9 yr old stimulating self

[engarde]

My daughter has had a habit that she has done at school since 1st grade.  She is now in 4th grade.  About once a day, she will stimulate herself at school by holding on to the desk with both hands and moving back and forth in her chair.  We have tried explaining to her that it is something to be done in private.  I allow her to do it in her bedroom.  She still continues to do it at school.  We had tried removing privileges, etc.  She seems to do it  when she is bored or tired at school.  Any suggestions on ways to talk to her or how to get her to stop.  Is this behavior normal?

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Be sure to have her checked medically, to insure that there is not some irritation or inflammation that is making her uncomfortable. This is unlikely, given the long-standing pattern you have described. However, be sure to check nonetheless. It is normal for all children to have a way to soothe themselves on the one hand, and to reduce tension, on the other hand. Her behavior likely serves both purposes. There is no magic way to talk about this. You've probably said all there is to say about it - i.e., it's OK in private, it's not OK in public. She is old to be doing this in a public setting, and it's likely become a habit pattern with her. I would arrange a mental health consult because you want to rule out that there is any compulsive aspect to this behavior. It is sometimes seen as a manifestation of obsessive-compulsive disorder. I am not suggesting this is likely, but it should be considered.