9yr old sister acts differently

Hi community, I'm 18 years old and have a 9 year old sister. Back in 2006 our dad died, leaving my mom to raise us both. Before he died my sister was very determined, almost to the point of getting in trouble. But ever since then she has be very timid, won't try new things or take risks. Since she started school this year she has been copping a serious attitude with me and my mom. But we think that's possibly a result of all her friends being spoiled brats.
     My mom recently told me that she has been saying that she's seeing Jesus or angles outside the car or something. We are Christians but that just doesn't seem normal to me. My mom has tried to tell her that she's just imagining it but she swears up and down she's not. We think she might be starting to lie about small things as well. Other than that she is pretty good with her friends in that she has a few close ones, she also seems very generous and caring about other people.
     I know she cops an attitude with me because I am her brother, but also because I'm probably harder on her than I should be. Since my dad died I've felt like I needed to be somewhat of the authoritarian of the house, which is the way my dad was. Don't get me wrong, there was never any abuse in our house and we were a pretty tight nit family. But being a cop and not having a very good example himself he tended to learn more toward the strict side. He was always tougher with me than my sister, which is why I wonder if she hasn't reacted adversely to his passing. As she was always daddy's little girl. (dont let it sound like I'm bitter, I just don't know how else to describe it) Anyway, I'm worried about her, I don't want my sister to be abnormal in anyway. So if anyone can give me any advice, is this a phase? Will she grow out of it? Or is there some legitimate reason for concern? Thanks.

[AnnieBrooke]

I'm really sorry to hear you lost your dad.  Please don't take what I'm going to say as unkind, because I mean it from the heart.  What you are doing is a natural way to cope, but please, don't act like a parent to your sister.  As he brother, your role is to be her ally.   She might be copping an attitude because you are not her father, and you in fact don't have the right to try to be the authoritarian figure in her life.  She doesn't need that, she needs sympathy, support and friendship.  She is under a lot of stress -- when someone dies, we all go into "survival" first, and only later, when survival is settled, comes the grieving.  In other words, it has to be emotionally safe enough for grief to come out, and right at first it is not.  She might be going through some grieving now.  Have you and she had any counseling?  (I don't mean together, I just mean for the natural grief of a child losing a parent.)  Grief is hard work, and we avoid it if we can, and it sounds like you have avoided it by jumping into the perceived role of 'man of the house,' (a lot to ask of any teenager), and she has avoided it so far but now it is coming out in these seeing-things ways.  Please talk to your mom about grief counseling.  It can help a lot and get things back to a level place.  Good luck.

[margypops]

I agree and some counseling would be good for you and your sister, I think it would be to back off somewhat I know you are concerned but it sounds like too much .you don't have to be authoritarian towards her .perhaps you can do some enjoyable things together,focus on her positive side , let your mom do the parenting ... .