A 5 year old girl inappropriately touched my 5 year old daughter

During a playdate, my daughters best friend had the idea to take off underwear and pants.. after a few days of talking w/my daughter the story is that this little girl had my daugther lay down on the floor, kneeled down beside her and leaned over belly to belly with her and proceeded to rub her privates so hard, that it then hurt to pee. my daughter said she tried calling me and said she told her to stop and when I asked why didnt' you push her off, she said she was too heavy. She told my daughter to keep it a secret... My daughter was embarrassed and ashamed.. Will she ever be able to forget this ever happened? My husband and I are devasted.. just because the other girl is 5 as well.. Does this act affect my daughter as if were an adult.. She was violated and my poor daugther helpless. - The other little girl admitted that she was laying on top of her and rubbed her privates. Oh, and this little girl also has a history of masterbating (masturbating) a few times a days since she was about 3.  I want to erase this memory for her!! She will never play with this little girl again!

[margypops]

It is always best for parents to have supervision on play dates we hear so many times that children are left alone in bedrooms to their own devices, this is my general opinion . It may be that this other child has had some form of abuse her self has she older siblings?What did her parents say about it ?

[allmymarbles]

This will not become a serious issue unless you make it one. Tell your daughter that her friend's behavior was bad and mean, and then let the subject go. I doubt that it would help to speak to the other girl's mother and she might react by blaming your daughter. By the way, end the friendship.

[RockRose]

mom,  I agree with the other two,  the less you make of this the better.

And the other girl didn't rip your daughter's clothes off.  I think you need to recognize this was pretty mutual,  although apparently when your daughter wanted it to stop the other girl wouldn't stop and then your daughter allowed the girl to decide not to yell out.  

I think you need to just frankly tell your daughter that if something unwanted like this happens again,  she should yell out for help that is in the next room, and not willingly take off her clothing.

And then let it go.  The more you and your husband appear "devastated",  the more your daughter will feel guilty and dirty.

[mom2526]

Thank you for the responses.. I don't think the other girl ripped off my daughter clothes.. but I do think it was her idea and coaxed my daughter into lying down. I think it was a learned behavior on the other little girls part, I cannot be mad at her.. she's only 5..  I agree.. I will never have an unsupervised playdate, I just never thought somehthing like this could happend w/2 5 year old little girls. - The other parents at first said this was normal for little girls to be curious.. which I understand.. i get that.. But when their daughter belly to belly on top of my daughter and did what she did, that is NOT normal. My daugther was probably shocked.. and they way she described calling out to me, it was as if she were all choked up and her voice wouldn't get loud.. hard to describe.. she showed me some of her facial expresion as she said she called out to me.. she was stunned and scared.. this was her best friend. - So all your advice was good.. I did and said all of that.. I spoke to a dr. and said the same as all of you.. We are not bringing it up and moving on.. And know that she will never need to see that other girl again!
BTW, the other little girl does have a 8 year old brother and 10 year old sister. Her parents now realize that she learned this from somewhere or at worse, she was molested herself. She has been my best friend for 25 years.. and I am the other little girls Godmother.. so its a terrible situation all around!  Again, thank you!!

[margypops]

I am sorry I see how its a problem with the relationship you have with a friend its good that you realise this in my opinion is'nt normal behavior and was learned by the 5 year old somewhere or seen on TV or a PC  a lot of times an older child is involved .and as far as your part is concerned you let it go.The parents of the child have in my opinion to figure out why and how their 5 year did this as it will happen again if not addressed .

[melloman16]

thats terrible.  I wonder if the other girl was abused when she was around 3.