Aa
A 5 year old tried to touch and kiss my sons butt
At school today, My 5 year old and his new friend where in the bathroom, unsupervised. My son says, his friend and him where showing eachother their penis'. My son also stated that his friend wanted to kiss my sons butt cheeks. Thats not all, this friend also tried to touch his anus. My son knows better. I think there might be some curiosity here. But Im unsure how this will affect my son. Is this normal? My son has never, ever made up a story like this before. Im not sure if he is telling the truth or not. a few minutes after he told this to me, he claimed he was tricking me. Here is a little bit of back story on the situation. My 5 year old is in his 2nd week of kindergarten. I know he is eager to make friends. He is an only child. Today, he was given permission to go to the bathroom after lunch. He never returned to class. He was MIA, for over 30 min in the bathroom. None of his teachers noticed he never came back to class. It wasnt untill I was there to pick him, that they realized he wasnt in the class. Neither was his new friend. After about 15 min of searching, his friend came out of the bathroom. Then a few minutes later, my son came out. My son claims they were both on the toilet, in separate stalls. But then he shares all of these other details. So I really have no idea what went on in that bathroom. I have no info on this boy, I know nothing of him. I dont want to make my son feel guilty. But i need to get to the bottom of what happened in the bathroom. If this boy has seen things, or been exposed to things my son hasnt. Im not sure how this incident will affect him. i dont want this to be come an ongoing issue. Please help with any advice possible. I can reply with more info if needed.
Peachtwin2, you very seriously need to take a step backwards from this situation and reevaluate before you continue. YOUR child was NOT abused. However the other child most likely was or is being sexually abused.
I kissed a boy's pee pee once when I was a little kid, want to know what it did to me? Nothing. In fact I only just recalled it reading this post. Want to know how many other penises I've kissed? ZERO. How emotionally damaged and hurt was I? How terrified and broken was I? Not at all. I kissed my friend on the pee pee because he asked me to and in 25 years I've never even thought about it until this morning reading your post.
My step-son got a kiss on his pee pee last year from his best friend, he was 5 at the time. His best friend has totally forgotten and is (so far) perfectly content and happy with his life with no seeming lingering signs or emotional damage either. Thank God he didn't have a mom like you, I will have to cross the street after school today and remind her of exactly how thankful I am while we watch our boys (who are still best friends) play today.
However the one thing you don't seem worried about, which really bothers me, is the other kid. You see when my son asked for a kiss on his pee pee it was like a big neon warning sign to me, and I admit I had already been wondering about my son's well being from the day I met him. You know I could just tell his sexual knowledge wasn't normal for his age, and luckily this pee pee kissing incident happened at the right time and in the right place, where someone like myself was there to deal with the after math.... Someone who was sort of still on the outside looking in and had no illusions that he was perfect and normal.
Turns out my son actually WAS sexually abused, by his father's ex fiancée when he was four. And I'll tell you something, he is definitely not alright (unlike your kid, your kid will be perfectly fine by the way). To top it off good old dad KNEW and had bribed and threatened him to keep a secret with daddy about what had happened. At this point we still don't know if dad was directly involved in the abuse or only involved in covering it up. He only says he doesn't remember where daddy was when everything happened, but he also doesn't remember everything that happened either.
So forgive me if I'm not horribly concerned about your child's well being, but I actually have to deal with the other side of this coin every day and maybe I can help you understand what it's like.
My son goes to therapy every week, has for a year and still won't tell or doesn't remember everything that happened to him.
My son won't talk to his mommy at all about it, because he's scared to death that she will be "too sad to get better" if he tells her.
My son wet the bed until he was 5 and a half, stopped for several months, then mysteriously started again (now we know it's because daddy had this ex fiancée staying with him a few weeks and had our son around her, this was before he told us who had abused him of course). He stills wets the bed at 6 and a half.
My son has such low self esteem that he believes he has no friends other than his best friend, despite the fact that people seem to adore the crap out of him because he has a sweet and gentle disposition (school's words not mine).
He is so sad that no one likes him that he suffers from depression even though he is 6 years old.
My son can't go inside other peoples houses to play because he is terrified of being separated from his mother or myself.
He won't play outside unless I am there with him in eyesight at all times.
My son got in trouble at school because he thought showing someone his penis would make them be his friend, because he is convinced that daddy's ex was his friend and that letting her see his penis made her happy so wouldn't it make other people be happy and want to be his friend too? (Thankfully he has actually gotten over that one with help from his therapist, us and a very understanding and caring school staff who were watchful and kind to him about the behavior)
However because of the above mentioned behavior (which happened one time only) he is the only child in his class who never gets play dates or sees the other children outside of school, so my son is excluded from socializing with kids who want to and often ask to come play at my house because they have parents like you.... Who by the way are polite enough to invite us to every birthday party and then sit my son alone at a different table and not let him play with their kids so he is currently the only 6 year old at his school who no longer accepts to go.
My son has night terrors and PTSD.
And the weirdest part is that I constantly have parents, teachers, and other adults comment on what a sweet tempered, genuinely kind, well mannered child I am so lucky to have. Or how our neighbors and his teacher always say he is so loving and always looking out for the other kids, getting adults when someone scrapes a knee, comforting them of they are sad, refusing to bully and typically spending the rest of the day with the child who was being bullied being their friend, he let's everyone beat him at every game because he says it's "nice to love everyone and make them feel good about them self" especially the little kids.
So I if that other poor kid is going through anything like what my son is going through, then I am so so very sorry for your child having been "sexually abused". You have my deepest sympathy. I pray your poor baby will live through this pee pee incident without any emotional scars. I'm sure the other kid probably won't manage so well but hey, we can all just hope that he has parents as good as my son has... You know, if they aren't the ones abusing him in the first place. I'm sure that other kid will be just dandy.
I kissed a boy's pee pee once when I was a little kid, want to know what it did to me? Nothing. In fact I only just recalled it reading this post. Want to know how many other penises I've kissed? ZERO. How emotionally damaged and hurt was I? How terrified and broken was I? Not at all. I kissed my friend on the pee pee because he asked me to and in 25 years I've never even thought about it until this morning reading your post.
My step-son got a kiss on his pee pee last year from his best friend, he was 5 at the time. His best friend has totally forgotten and is (so far) perfectly content and happy with his life with no seeming lingering signs or emotional damage either. Thank God he didn't have a mom like you, I will have to cross the street after school today and remind her of exactly how thankful I am while we watch our boys (who are still best friends) play today.
However the one thing you don't seem worried about, which really bothers me, is the other kid. You see when my son asked for a kiss on his pee pee it was like a big neon warning sign to me, and I admit I had already been wondering about my son's well being from the day I met him. You know I could just tell his sexual knowledge wasn't normal for his age, and luckily this pee pee kissing incident happened at the right time and in the right place, where someone like myself was there to deal with the after math.... Someone who was sort of still on the outside looking in and had no illusions that he was perfect and normal.
Turns out my son actually WAS sexually abused, by his father's ex fiancée when he was four. And I'll tell you something, he is definitely not alright (unlike your kid, your kid will be perfectly fine by the way). To top it off good old dad KNEW and had bribed and threatened him to keep a secret with daddy about what had happened. At this point we still don't know if dad was directly involved in the abuse or only involved in covering it up. He only says he doesn't remember where daddy was when everything happened, but he also doesn't remember everything that happened either.
So forgive me if I'm not horribly concerned about your child's well being, but I actually have to deal with the other side of this coin every day and maybe I can help you understand what it's like.
My son goes to therapy every week, has for a year and still won't tell or doesn't remember everything that happened to him.
My son won't talk to his mommy at all about it, because he's scared to death that she will be "too sad to get better" if he tells her.
My son wet the bed until he was 5 and a half, stopped for several months, then mysteriously started again (now we know it's because daddy had this ex fiancée staying with him a few weeks and had our son around her, this was before he told us who had abused him of course). He stills wets the bed at 6 and a half.
My son has such low self esteem that he believes he has no friends other than his best friend, despite the fact that people seem to adore the crap out of him because he has a sweet and gentle disposition (school's words not mine).
He is so sad that no one likes him that he suffers from depression even though he is 6 years old.
My son can't go inside other peoples houses to play because he is terrified of being separated from his mother or myself.
He won't play outside unless I am there with him in eyesight at all times.
My son got in trouble at school because he thought showing someone his penis would make them be his friend, because he is convinced that daddy's ex was his friend and that letting her see his penis made her happy so wouldn't it make other people be happy and want to be his friend too? (Thankfully he has actually gotten over that one with help from his therapist, us and a very understanding and caring school staff who were watchful and kind to him about the behavior)
However because of the above mentioned behavior (which happened one time only) he is the only child in his class who never gets play dates or sees the other children outside of school, so my son is excluded from socializing with kids who want to and often ask to come play at my house because they have parents like you.... Who by the way are polite enough to invite us to every birthday party and then sit my son alone at a different table and not let him play with their kids so he is currently the only 6 year old at his school who no longer accepts to go.
My son has night terrors and PTSD.
And the weirdest part is that I constantly have parents, teachers, and other adults comment on what a sweet tempered, genuinely kind, well mannered child I am so lucky to have. Or how our neighbors and his teacher always say he is so loving and always looking out for the other kids, getting adults when someone scrapes a knee, comforting them of they are sad, refusing to bully and typically spending the rest of the day with the child who was being bullied being their friend, he let's everyone beat him at every game because he says it's "nice to love everyone and make them feel good about them self" especially the little kids.
So I if that other poor kid is going through anything like what my son is going through, then I am so so very sorry for your child having been "sexually abused". You have my deepest sympathy. I pray your poor baby will live through this pee pee incident without any emotional scars. I'm sure the other kid probably won't manage so well but hey, we can all just hope that he has parents as good as my son has... You know, if they aren't the ones abusing him in the first place. I'm sure that other kid will be just dandy.
You absolutely need to have that boy looked into, speak with the school counselors, possibly even have them contact CPS THIS IS DISTURBING a 5 or 6 year old should have no knowledge of touching those parts and that automatically brings up a red flag. To me it seems like an incredible likelihood that that poor boy has been touched inappropriately.
My son had a very similar experience, but with his female cousin, who was a few years older.we took it very seriously, but he is perfectly fine. It had to laying traumatic effect. I'm sure your son will be fine, and I'm so sorry to hear this had to happen to him.
Please inform the people necessary to look into this other boys personal life. It just sounds like something improper is happening there.
Good luck
My son had a very similar experience, but with his female cousin, who was a few years older.we took it very seriously, but he is perfectly fine. It had to laying traumatic effect. I'm sure your son will be fine, and I'm so sorry to hear this had to happen to him.
Please inform the people necessary to look into this other boys personal life. It just sounds like something improper is happening there.
Good luck
COMMUNITY LEADER
As a retired elementary school principal, I agree completely with Specialmom. The last thing that this youngster needs is to be expelled from the situation that might help him.
Oh goodness peachtwin2, that is a bit of an overreaction. These are 5 year olds No one touched him, right? The boy asked your son to do something that he didn't do. It's unfortunate it happened-------- and the other boy is actually to be pitied. Most likely, he's been molested as that is a sign of it. I hope that his parents are able to provide some counseling for him to help him if he has been.
You can simply say to your child that the other boy was wrong and inappropriate and he did the right thing for telling the teacher. You can tell him that what that boy said was gross and let's not think about it. Move on and don't make a huge deal out of it and your boy will be fine.
They'll probably monitor the bathrooms more closely and again, I hope that the boy who started this is alright and safe.
good luck
You can simply say to your child that the other boy was wrong and inappropriate and he did the right thing for telling the teacher. You can tell him that what that boy said was gross and let's not think about it. Move on and don't make a huge deal out of it and your boy will be fine.
They'll probably monitor the bathrooms more closely and again, I hope that the boy who started this is alright and safe.
good luck
my 5 year old son was in the bathroom with two of his friends one kid tried to get my son and his friend to kiss his penis my son didn't do it they told the teacher and the principal called me I asked for a conference with the child and parents she said no she assured me she would take care of this I am outraged I believe my son was sexually abused this child shoud be expelled
hello guys , i am reading your comments after my daughter had the same problem today from her class mate eho is a girl too !! they are 5 years old ,,i am soo worried about my kid safety , i think you are right betty !! such an act must be reported immediatly and i am going tomorrow to take my daughter to a different class , to avoid to be in the same place with that girl ,,,, i know the girl and her grandmother they live couple of blocks from my house so , i am gonna have to pick her up to avoid ridding the bus with her ,,, the touching happend in the bus .
BE CAREFUL!!!! STOP THAT SITUATION RIGHT NOW, PLEASE!! First of all, talk to the teacher and the principal about that situation and that you don't want it repeated. Please, talk to your son immediately and let him know that is not right and do not be friend of the other kid...If your son is still friend of that kid the situation is going to be repeated....It's your obligation as the mother of your 5 year-old to stop that situation and prevent your son from being a VICTIM of Sexual Abuse (even if the sexual abuse is coming from a kid of a same age as your son. Still is Sexual Abuse). Report it to the teacher and the principal IMMEDIATELY. Good Luck and God Bless your innocent son, bless you, bless my children and every single innocent children from becoming victims of any kind of sexual abuse.
oh there is something going on. what your son told you is definitely true because i don't get how he would just make up story like that and next time they would both be spending 30 minutes in the bathroom. i think you should make him tell his friend that if he still wants to be his friend they would not do that and make him apologize even if he didn't start it. be sure to tell him how this could affect him in any way
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Child Behavior Community
Fearing autism, many parents aren't vaccinating their kids. Can doctors reverse this dangerous trend?
Is a gluten-free diet right for you?
We answer your top questions about the flu vaccine.
Learn which over-the-counter medicines are safe for you and your baby
Yummy eats that will keep your child healthy and happy
Healing home remedies for common ailments
