My bf has a son that is 9 and a complete freak show. His mom was a raging bipolar drunk that died in front of him at 7 years old. Prior to that the kid was having major anger problems at school and beating everyone up. The bf and his wife at the time spoiled the kid rotten giving him everything, because they were so drunk themselves. The kid @ 7 took his 2 next door neighbor boys and got them naked. I never asked what he did because he freaks out crying, but I am sure it wasn't good. What bothers me is he doesn't care the boys might be affected, it is about how much trouble he could get in, which leads me to believe he molested them. He kept saying he is not gay. He also got his 3 yr old cousin naked as well. The kid breaks things, beats other kids up, has zero regards for anyone else, doesn't care about anything, and asked me if I thought he was smart enough to commit murder and get away with it. The school does nothing, but he has beat up 4 kids in the last 2 wks, so they finally put him on some type of matrix system when he can get suspended now. They feel sorry for him, because he has no Mommie. He has attacked me when I wasn't looking to get my cell phone, because he knows I record him -- I record him because he threatens to tell CPS lies that I am beating him all the time. The kid lies, steals, and manipulates to where it is scary. He reminds me of a serial killer in the making at 9??? ANY SUGGESTIONS? Oh and Dad is a drunk/mental freak, and mom was a complete nutjob major drunk.
Is there some reason you've chosen a "drunk/mental freak" for a boyfriend? Maybe the easiest solution here is to break up with this guy you clearly disdain - I would too, who wants to be with a "drunk/mental freak"?
Oh boy . . . um . . . gee . . . well, lets see . . . um . . . well . . . hm. This seems like a no brainer as in you do not need to have an enormous amount of intelligence to see that maybe . . . just maybe . . . this isn't a great guy to attach yourself to.
And quite honestly, I think it would be the worst decision in the world for him to attach himself to you as you really do seem to lack any compassion or empathy for this poor child.
I hope that this little boy finds healthy, kind people in life that will help him see that the world is not as bad as it has been for him thus far. Wishing him peace and blessings.
The boy has been in a bad situation all of his life and sounds like he has been neglected in many ways. Growing up in an alcoholic family is really tough and abusive to children, ask anyone who grew up in one of htose homes. Maybe it would be good to call in CPS. Also, I would not get too involved with this BF, he sounds like he has many issues and of course, he's going to lean on you to help him with it.
I have zero attachment to the boyfriend. I don't care what happens to him. And I did call CPS once. The bf apparently has had a person that worked for CPS at one time babysit the kid, so she just said nothing was going on to the people that worked for CPS.
And no -- the kid, I feel nothing for. He knows what he is doing and knows how to manipulate beyond belief in a scary manner. He can read people, and knows how to prey on their feelings/reactions to work in his manner. He is so scary -- he rigged a "noose" and hung it from the window in his bedroom. I went to see what he was doing (he was messing around with toys on his bed), and I saw this rope thing hanging from his curtain hanger thing. I realized it was a "noose", and I asked him "What the heck is that?"..he said calm as day "I was trying to hang myself, but it wouldn't work. I was going to kill myself, so I could look at everyone from heaven laughing"...I was SPEECHLESS. My stomach dropped..I have never been so OMG!!! A day later he was laughing saying he did that to mess with everyone's head. He found it funny to see the whole family freaking out, and it gave him pleasure to see us hurt. He is very mentally ill.
I plan on leaving as well, just trying to time it right. I have left before and the kid went nuts at school beating everyone up. The bf went on a MAJOR drunk streak. I have told the Grandma (bf's mom) that the day is coming. She is terrified of it. I was with a freaking NFL player prior to this -- lol ...how I got in this "mess"..time for me to get out. I just wonder in 5-10 yrs..will this kid be on the news?
I just have to comment here...this child is 9. He is clearly disturbed...abuse will do that. I grew up in an alcoholic home and even though I was still loved and treated well for the most part, it was tough. You are clearly not interested in providing any sort of love or support for him, but clearly someone needs to intervene, and now. I would be screaming at the top of my lungs to anyone that would listen that this child needs help. I understand why you want out, but perhaps letters to CPS, school guidance counsellors, family services...whatever is available where you live. Everyone and anyone. My heart hurts so much for this child. I believe that children can be saved, but intervention needs to happen right now.
You mention that your boyfriend and his wife were drunks. So you are living with a drunk who has a problem child.... This child is out of your control. He is his father's responsibility. Is the father a responsible person?
Do you really want to become involved with a dysfunctional family?
Oh, Dad is a drunk Mental/Freak and Mom was complete nutjob major drunk...and you are the intelligent compassionate loving girlfriend right? I pray that the school intervines before its too late for this poor child! I know you won't. By the way you could use a counselor yourself.
I called CPS -- the girl working was the prior babysitter, she shrugged it off. So -- because we are in a small town, I had my gf's call into the school attends express their concern for the kid's mental state. No one did anything but call him into the office. The school counselor informed me that unless he is being "abused", she can just listen to him. I spent an hour on the phone with her telling them he is in dire needs of help. The school is rated one of the worst in our state if that tells you anything. I told the school counselor I hope someone does something, before he tries to kill someone. He took a knife to school last year, and tried this year, but I caught it before he left the door in the morning. The bf is NOT responsible at all. And no AHEART --- I don't need a counselor (I have only been with these 2 freakshows for 1.5 yrs -- my normal life would never consist of this idiotic mentally unstable weirdo crap, a word of advice -- if you are NOT in the situation, don't recommend ****). The school counselor told me I have done all I can, and to just remove myself emotionally from it all. I have to admit her telling me that after I told her everything that has happened -- a bit concerning. It is past intervention for this kid. I tried this afternoon to talk to him -- just see what he is thinking. He at 9 told me everyone owes him, and he doesn't care what he does or says to people. People to him are nothing but a way to get more. I ended the conversation, because he sounded so scary. All I got is a kid that has ZERO accountability for his actions. My family is a bunch of educators (teachers/principals) and they have all said he has zero concept of accountability and consequences. I went to the bf's moms and told her how concerned I am and how the bf doesn't care, and the kid is scary, she said oh well, I hope he figures it out (her son). Since my visit, and I was very nice, calm, extremely concerned, and giving her information, she hasn't called the bf (normally it's an everyday call). She wanted to know where the money comes from to pay the bills since the bf doesn't work, and I do (from home w/ huge company). That was her concern. ALLMARBLES -- hell no! I am leaving soon thank god. I would never spend my life with a bunch of psycho crap. The kid will either run the house when I leave and do whatever while his dad is passed out drunk or the dad with lose custody due to total neglect. But the kid has enough manipulation survival skills -- he will be fine, just VERY dangerous. The whole situation is unreal, seems like a horrid dream, and then you wake up and realize...this kid is REAL, breathing just fine, and out there to play with other little kids with no one watching. P.S. I don't even let my friends (tons of them with kids his age) come over for fear of what he will do to them.
I do not believe children are born this way I believe they are made this way , they learn from their parents and other adults in their life, if he is out of control its because he has been allowed to be . As we have all stated here the only way to to seek help from the Authorities, if he is the big threat you say he is , the CPS, the Police, school , and family are responsible for him and others who may get hurt. If they ignore you keep asking , why has the school counsellor ignored you and not called someone to help this child ?
I agree with you - partly. Most children are the product of their environment, but there are others who, for reasons no one can adequately determine, are born with crossed wires. How do you explain a Bundy? His upbringing was as normal as most people's. I witnessed a truly violent person only once. He came from a normal family. I knew his parents, his relatives and his social circle. They say he was strange when he was young.
The school counselor listened, but said all she can do is see if he displays child abuse symptoms such as physical or sexual. I asked her where do I go from here then? CPS?? She said it is up to the father, and not me. She said I have done all I can, and to just sit back and watch knowing I have done everything. I literally have gone all different avenues to help this kid, but when it gets down to it: I am not his mom. If I did have a child -- this would NEVER happen. The dead mother's family are being played by the kid and allow him to manipulate everyone, because he knows to throw a cry baby tantrum (which will break everyone's heart), so they just let him get away with everything. I know the environment he was in prior to me being in his life was one of neglect (both parents drunk and fighting), and he learned that material objects give him some type of comfort - plus, he was allowed to do anything, because none of his parents were in the shape to even discipline him. His mom was so drunk, she went to drop him off with his father @ some gas station about 15 miles from her home, so daddy could hang with the kid. She drove home/passed out and then woke up thinking her child had been stolen. She then called her mom and said the daddy stole the kid. When it was all figured out -- she blacked out with the kid in her suv...drove him to the drop off location. She didn't remember doing it. So -- that is the level I am working with here, the kid never had a chance with those two parenting him. I am a whole different story, and he has fought me the whole way with rules/chores/structure. I used to volunteer and coach softball for the ghetto kids in San Francisco/Oakland, and I saw some really whacked out kids. None of them even compare to this kid. My friend is a San Francisco police officer, and said the kid sounds like a serial killer in the making. So comforting...
Okay, let me just say that the manner in which you refer to this child is inflamatory and I wish you would stop. Probably people calling him psycho, freakshow,etc. have added to the problem of his anger issues. I also find it insulting to all who suffer mental illness to speak this way about a child you claim suffers from that.
I question parts of your story as a whole. I know how CPS works and question your accuracy regarding their reaction to your call. I also know under state law what a school is required to do if issues such as you describe exist.
I think you've done all you can do (according to your version of the facts) and hopefully someone that can really help the child will soon intervene.
Your last post was referred to me and I have to tell you I agree with all specialmom has to say .in the above post,I have not understood why CPS have done nothing at all from the details you have told us .I also hope someone can help- this child .Now... I am done ..
I don't know how CPS works, but I do know how the school system's work, because my entire family is educators, and throughout this entire process, they have all suggested different things to help him. CPS didn't do anything, as a matter of fact, when I told them the problems, and gave them the bf's contact information (I was in San Francisco remodeling my house), they never called him to check up on the kid. I tried to give them as much information as I could in regards to things I felt were not right. And in regards to the school counselor, she told me she informed the kid "If he is being beaten or molested, tell her and she will call CPS" -- he isn't any of those things. She told myself, the bf, and the kid all she can do is listen. My family was in shock, because my aunt is a teacher in a great school district in another state, and she said the school counselor would have had a support system implemented for this kid. My lawyer has his children in a private school, and they went through a hard time when he and his wife were splitting. The school counselor there had the kids counseled a few times a week. I have asked around what to do. I even had my close friend consult the local sheriff/cps officer (who is a personal friend of hers), and he said there is nothing he can do until the kid really messes up. I have just decided to give up and let whatever happen..happen. I have literally exhausted myself and all my friends/family with trying to help this kid. His family doesn't care. And no "allmymarbles" -- I do hate the kid, and would NEVER want to raise this kid. I have only tried to help him, so at least he could brush his teeth and get through normal daily basics. He cannot even do that. I never wanted kids, don't care to be a step mom to any kid, and feel that if you can't take care of them -- give them to someone that will. The bf won't let the kid go, because the kid is his paycheck. Specialmom -- I just call it what it is. A kid acts like a psycho and a freakshow 24/7 around you -- that is what it is. I normally would never call a kid anything, but this little freak is nothing but trouble and will be a dangerous menace to society. And when everyone is going "what happened to him?"..it all started from way back. He is so nuts -- I have a puppy that is mine, he will kick my puppy just because he hates me. He is jealous I buy my puppy all sorts of stuff, and get him nothing. I just don't care anymore. I don't give the slightest crap to what happens to the kid. When I move back to CA, I will never think of this kid. All the times I went on vacation without the kid, he never crossed my mind. When he leaves on small trips to family -- I am thrilled I don't have to look at him or listen to his stupid ****. Yesterday he was sticking his toes in this air vent (decorative design), I told him he should be careful or he will get his toe caught and cut it up trying to get it out. The kid -- stuck his toe in further and was wiggling it around just to be an ***, making these stupid jerk faces. I started laughing, because he looked so stupid. He got mad, because instead of me asking again -- I laughed. So when he pulled his toes out minus the skin (no blood), and no one in the house including his dad cared, he was pissed the whole day. Then screamed at us for not dropping everything to bandage him. I ignored him, and his dad told him to go to his room. The dad said he should have listened. Kid got mad and slammed his door knocking all the stuff off his wall. We are so used to that behavior - no one reacts to anything. Note to self: NEVER IN MY LIFE BE WITH SOMEONE WITH KIDS!
That is fine, I would not believe it either because it is so messed up. And good thing for me: I do not care anymore. The little Ted Bundy can do all his psycho stuff, I don't care. I am too busy getting new car picked out:) No time for a little freakshow to deal with. He just gets sent to his room anyway, no one wants to deal with this ****. Good thing I didn't pop him out of my vagina, and am in NO way part of his DNA. He is not my problem, just like the school counselor saying. If I did have kids -- oh man, would I hate to know someone like this kid was in my child's class -- scary stuff! TTYL for now ladies. Most of you hate me, think I am ****** up, or whatever. What I love is, I don't care, never did, and lmfao think most of you are all judgmental. I do know that this kid is a freakshow, a psycho, a mental basketcase, and he more than likely will get to enjoy the prison system a majority of his life. I did what I could -- so now on to my new house and vacation! Everything I have said is true, that is why I was so floored at the level of dysfunction. I bet it all really goes to hell when I leave:)
You seem to be seeking some help but unfortunately not for the child but for yourself. If you think getting attention for yourself this way is honerable you should rethink again. This child did not choose his situation, however, you did! You can pack up and leave and start a new life, he can not with out help! I am sure this situation has put you through hell but if you are looking for compasion with your attitude I do not think you will find it any time soon! Yes, the child has issues but you also have issues. Attention seeking is even worse when you are feeding off of someone else pain and misfortunes. You want us to walk in your shoes, why don't you try walking in his first and see how you would turn out!
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