A childs threat.

[share49]

My husbands 10 year old child lives with his grandparents in a different town then we do.  I have been in the picture for 8 years and have done every thing to try and help with this child but my in-laws don't like me much and I now have two children of my own.  The last two years the 10 year old has ran away from home making my husband dive 25 miles to look for him more times then I can count.  The child has become a bully at school and on the busses.NOTHING is being done or inforsed by the grandparents that are raising him.  The last year or so he has threatend to kill every-one in the family so many times that I have forbidened my 7 year old and 6 month old from even going to there grandparents house for fear of there safty around the 10 year old.  Grandparents health is going down hill and they cann't take care of him much longer.  He can not come live with his father and our family tell he gets some HELP....

Where do I go with this? How do I find the kid the help he needs?  

Note:  Grandparents will do any thing in there power to keep me out of it but it's a little hard when I ask my husband were he's going and he has to explain kid ran away, kid threatend to kill, kid in trouble at school, extra.

StepMom with no power seeking help.

[gitsum]

if he is a danger to himself or others then intervention is necessary. if his parents or guardians refuse to get him treatment then the authorities or child protective services should be contacted.

kids like this often end up in jail if intervention doesn't happen.

[shanbam22]

I'm not a dr or nothing but it sounds to me he is wanting attention from his dad an to a kid bad attention (getting in trouble) is still attention he should def see a dr but I think he may feel he has been replaced like he has no one like he not good enough to be with his dad an new family when I was a kid I went threw something like this an thats how it made me feel

[Sandman2]

    Specialmom has a very good point - well several good points.  Perhaps one of the most important is how much legal authority does his dad have in the childs upbringing?   If he still has legal rights he can contact the school district and see about getting the child some help.  If not, then its up to him to convince the grandparents to do so.  I am sure that the school district must feel the need to get some help for him if he is becoming a bully.

[specialmom]

Hi there.  Oh, I'm so sad for this little boy.  I really am.  Must be hard to have a dad you can't live with that has a full life away from you.  Where is his mother?  I'm wondering why the boy stayed with his grandparents all those years and never lived with a parent.  That has to be hard on his psyche.  Deep wounds come from such treatment by your parents.  

This child is in crisis.  Yes, agreed that he needs some mental health support.  I'm wondering about the odd behavior of his dad.  How active is he in this child's life?  I get that he rushes in when there is trouble but is he there otherwise?  Does HE have any say in this child's upbringing or decisions regarding getting him help?  If so, what does he say to you about your concerns?  That is really key-----  is he on the same page with you or is he part of the problem?