Dear Ms. Mitchell,
Re: Finding doctors who appreciate your perspective on this condition, it's really a matter of word-of-mouth and trial-and-error. As with any area of specialization, medical persommel vary greatly in relation to the acknowledged expertise that many patients bring to their own condition.
Re: communication with teachers, there's never a substitute for respectful, patient convesation, buttressed perhaps by concise literature. In this regard, and responding to your third point as well, I would loudly recommend Barkley's Taking Charge of ADHD. It is a thorough, practical, down-to-earth manual that is of significant help to bith parents and teachers.