ADHD?

[Julie]

I have a six year old daughter who has been "Hyper" and overly sensative since she was born.  When she was two I took her to the doctor because I was having such a hard time with the crying and frustration and hyper out of control behavior.  She was out of control, rolling on the floor, opening the door and running into the hall, climbing on the exam table, turning off and on the lights, ect.  The doctor had the nerve to tell me that I needed parenting classes on what to expect for her age.  She is my second child, so I know what is "normal" behavior.  I took her to another doctor shortly after, who specialized in ADHD, who said that she definately had the behavior, but she was too young to diagnose.  I left there at least feeling better about my parenting abilities.  I was told to wait until she was in school.  I happily awaited her Kindergarten, only to find out she was fine at school.  I got mixed signals from the teacher, who would tell me she was fine and then I would get notes on her report card, about how she needs to learn "proper classroom behavior"  Now she is in the first grade and I talked to her teacher last month and was told she was "Smart as a whip" and she just needed to learn when she could talk and when she needed to be quiet.  Since then, she comes home telling me she has gotten a "blue card" which is like a third warning in class.  If she gets another warning in a day, she gets a red card and a referal to the principle.  She told me that she has had one of those already.  I don't know what to do.  At home, she spends the majority of her day crying.  She gets frustrated very easily and cries that I am yelling at her.  I have to tell her to do things more than once and then she cries because I am "yelling".  Homework is another issue.  She is ok at school work, but getting her to sit and do it is another issue.  We have a pretty set schedule, because I do home daycare, she knows what to expect in her day and does good with routine.  If her routine changes there is a lot of crying.  Like on weekends, when there is no real routine.  When she's not crying, she's jumping up and down, running crazy through the house, all hyper.  She is constantly falling down, because she is never in control of her body.  She is lot's of fun and full of surprises, but the crying is hard to handle.  The whirlwind of energy she has affects my youngest daughter (3) and all of my daycare children.  I feel bad yelling at her for having all the energy, but it makes me crazy.  I don't know if she has ADHD, because she can sit and play with her sister for hours, barbies and polly pockets.  She has a really good imagination and can spend hours doing art or playing outside, her attention span is good, but she is easily distracted when doing other things, like homework.  She talks and is in constant motion.  Any ideas about what I can do to stay sane?
Thanks

[Lauren]

Lisa Gibson, if you read this, please contact me as I would like to chat regarding a 5 year old and ADD, I am at my wits end.

Thank you

you can reach me at ***@****

[dottie]

I have a 9 1/2 year old daughter who sounds simlilar to what you are going through.  As a baby she was very fussy and as a toddler very aggressive.  I too did daycare and was concerned with her "control" over every situation.  Once she was in preschool and kindergarden they told me she was a shy/quiet child (WHAT?).  Then came the organizational skills she lacked.  In First grade it was still organization and 'lack of attention'.  I also thought it may be ADD.  She certainly had many traits.  Second grade also showed 'lack of attention' but they could at least see her many talents.  We moved in third grade and she suffered very sever nightmares.  I finally took her to see a therapist where they diagnosed her with 'general anxiety disorder'.  Most of her behaviors (and she did experience hyper ones as well) were due to her unability to get over normal anxieties. She went on Paxal.  One year later I'm happy to say that she is doing great.  What a difference.  Sometimes the ADHD is what everyone turns to.  Like the previous post, teachers want the kids on meds to make there life easier.  Even though my daughter is on some meds for the time being no one knows at the school.  The never have and they never will.  She's fine with it and feels it has really helped her in her fears.  Sometimes children exibit fears in different ways -- it could be by being hyper because they are too afraid to admit them.  I would advise seeing a good psychiatrist and have him evaluated.  Even though my daughter showed symptoms of ADD that is not what it was.  Good luck.

[Lisa Gibson]

I have a son 6 years old.  From the day he was born I knew somthing was wrong. He cried all the time. By the time he was 2, I was going crazy. He was very compulsive and out of control. He was a danger to himself. At age 3 I enrolled him in a special ED program called early childhood prevention.  The state runs it. There they gave him the one on one constant attention he craved. It was the best thing I had ever tried. They did all they could with him, teaching him how to control his impulses. By age 4 we were given the diagnosis of ADHD. We did not want to do the ritalin.  But by age 5 my son was kicked out of 3 schools. Even our family hated to be around him.  So finally I agreed to start him on ritalin. I was amazed. My son even told me that he felt better and that he liked himself now. I had him on the meds for less then 6 months, then I slowly took him off.  He is now 6 and he has made a 60% turn around. He listens better, controls himself better and he is less compulsive. I find that I have to follow threw with everything I say to him. There is a lot of time-outs and sometimes a swat to the bottom. He started kindergarden this year and his teacher said he was doing fine. A month later we had to move.  We switched him to a new school. I mistakenly told his new teacher that he was diagnosised ADHD and that he used to be on meds. 3 days after being in her class, she called to tell me that he was unruly and disrupted the hole class. He had been marked as a problem child no thanks to me. His teacher told me to start him on his meds again. I knew that it was not my son, but the teacher who had too many kids in her class and she figured that druging one would lighten her load. So I sent him to school and told the teacher that he was back on his Ritalin. He wasn't!  She called that afternoon to tell me how much better he was. I waited a week and then told her that I never put him back on his meds. I knew that if she tried harder and worked with him that things would work out. Too many kids are labeled.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Dear Julie,

When your daughter was two, the doctor observed signs that indicated that, some day, she might likely be diagnosed as displaying ADHD. Your description indicates that this might indeed be the case. This is not to say that, if she is diagnosed with ADHD, it explains all of her behavior, but may be a component of it.

I would revisit the ADHD issue, and have her evaluated again, including collecting data via standardized checklists that are widely accepted as helping to establish this descriptive diagnosis.

As an aside, it's not unusual for children who display ADHD to also have the ability to be attentive and focused in particular circumstances. Under conditions of high motivation, such attentiveness is often observed in children who may be distractible and inattentive in other situations or contexts.