Abnormal 6 year old behavior- I need answers

I have hopped around on this website to many different forums, and am glad I have found this specific forum. Here is why- I really want to address some behavior that my 6 year old sibling is experiencing. I will be as detailed and as frank as possible. I tried to separate and explain behaviors based on social, cognitive, psychological and emotional things as well as academic. He has not reached any milestones pertaining to speech or anything- he is still in the mimicking phase that 2 or 3 year olds go through- but he doesn't seem to be developing any further than that.

*He is 6 years old. He is going into the 1st grade in the fall. I started noticing delayed and regressive behavior at the age of 3.  It began with food and speech. He would not eat any meat or vegetables or fruit. He would not even touch chocolate or candy.  He was not breastfed. The only food he would eat were hot dogs (I personally find hot dogs repulsive).  Sitting at the table, the parents would attempt to force him to eat different things, but he wouldn't- he would scream. Eventually, the child began to stop eating the hot dogs and would only eat chips.  Now, at 6 years old, his diet consists of chips and an occasional bowl of sugar laden cereal with no milk as he will not drink milk. His parents are tired and do not know what to do so they give in to his ridiculous eating habits with little to no objection- forcing him to take vitamins 2X a day because of his terrible eating habits. This child is the youngest out of TEN children these people have raised. The mom is 48 and the dad is 53.

*As far as his speech, i noticed a delay in speech around 3 years old. He did not develop what I think are normal speech patterns- even to this day. When you say "Hey mark, how are you doing?" He will respond with a jumbled sentence that is usually mimicking a television commercial or movie that he saw.  He does not communicate effectively, at all, to this day. You cannot have a conversation with him.

*Socially, his activity is strange. We will be playing baseball in the yard, and the kid just does not understand rules of any sort. He will participate, but when it comes to getting struck out or running to first base, he doesn't get it. He will be struck out, then he will scream and cry until you force him into time out so he does not disrupt the rest of the family. When it comes time to run to base, he will not stop- he will run in the wrong direction. No matter how many times you try to enforce the rules of ANY game, he just does not understand. He is content playing alone and seems to fare much better if he is by himself with a toy. He has no friends in school.

*Academically- he entered kindergarten and had a very rough time.Parents were called because the child would run out of class and out of the school at random times. The child would not share, he would excessively cry and disrupt class, and he would draw pictures of stick figures stabbing eachother in the head,  parents were called numerous times, and apparently the behavior has straightened up- but his reading and writing is below par. He is already in a special reading program at school.  His parents are in severe denial. He has not been evaluated by a professional and the only way that would happen would be if the public school he attends forced him to be evaluated in order to keep him from entering a special program. He was never read to by his parents or tucked in at night if that makes a difference- which I think it does.

*Emotionally, seems to act like a younger child. When he is disciplined, he reacts strangely- he will say "i love you" over and over and over again while crying in time out. The ONLY time this child expresses emotion is when he is being disciplined.  His father used to discipline him by swatting him on the butt- but his reaction was SEVERE- I witnessed the swatting, which was not excessive, He would scream bloody murder and would shy away from his father so the father stopped swatting him and puts him in time out- even that is a huge issue due to the childs reactivity. All other times of the day, he is very blank and stagnant. Blank is an understatement.  When you look into his eyes, there is not much there. Your eyes are the window to your soul... To me, looking into his eyes, it appears he has no soul. I know that sounds harsh- but I helped raise this kid and this just boggles my mind- out of 10 children, the youngest one is experiencing such unusual behavior.

*He has acted out sexually one time that I know of towards an older female family member who is pregnant. He is fascinated with her huge belly- but it is a problem because he will not stop touching it. When he touches her belly, he touches himself. It is disturbing. The pregnant family member ignored him, swats his hand away from her belly when she notices the behavior and leaves the room. we are not sure if this is the only sexual behavior he has exhibited.

I am disturbed, as I helped raise this little guy. The father is an alcoholic, and the mother is a stay at home mom that uses the TV as a babysitter.  She smoked cigarettes while pregnant, with no complications. He was born on the correct due date, around 6 lbs.  I know that this kids environment is PARAMOUNT to his success in figuring out whats going on- but unfortunately, he is stuck in a smoky environment in front of massive amounts of television and video games.

Please help. i have researched autism, child disintegrative disorder, aspergers and pervasive developmental disorder, and it seems like he has symptoms related to all of them. Leave ANY comment you can- I'm thick skinned and will not be offended at anything anyone has to say- I'm just looking for help!!!

[RockRose]

I'm having a little bit of a hard time understanding your relationship to him,  but that's okay.   It sounds like you're concerned for him and want to help.

Surely the school district plans to evaluate him thoroughly - if he did as poorly in Kinder as you have been told,  the school district will do a thorough evaulation on him.  It would be best to get an independent evaluation as well.  

Sounds like a mix of all the things you mention in your last paragraph to me,  too.

Best wishes.  I think if you make a real effort to be completely involved in his life,  and provide a positive and uplifting experience for him by loving him,  nurturing him, and showing him how to be a boy that would be for the best.  

I know you said you have a thick skin,  so I'll just say it - for some reason,  I think it would be best for this boy if you stopped disdaining him so much,  and rather,  started enjoying him and nurturing him.  Pretend to really like him a lot.  Pretend that you find his company very enjoyable,  and smile at him and hug him a lot.  Pretend.

Best wishes with him.