Abused Child

I am a divorced dad raising my 4 yr old son with problems, about a year ago i left my wife due to the abuse we both indured both physical and mental. my son now hits spits yells screams throws things pulls hair and beats on our dogs. i know that to a point some of this is normal behavior but i also know alot of it is not. he seams to just get mad and becomes out of controll for days. i have tried everything like time outs going to his room loosing things and so on. most of this anger happens after he has a supervised visit with his mother. i have put him in therapy but it has yet to help. in fact when his therapust saysd he talked alot about what happen i have problems. he has made it clear he does not like girls or women and has no problem showing that by spiting and name calling at them. when he gats mad the look that is on his face scares me sometimes because you see the anger in him. i do not know what to do. i have to let him see his mom but the problems from him seeing her are just getting out of hand. there was a time he did not see her for about 2 months and all the problems ended. he was a typical child. i know that there is know abuse going on at the visits but it is like it has never stoped through his actions. is there anything i can do to help him deal with the anger that is in and so he can have some what a normal child hood with out being angry all the time?

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

From your description, the problem rests with the nature of the contact he is having with his mother. That is the problem that needs to be resolved. If you are convinced that abusive behavior is occurring during the contact with his mother, it is imperative that this mistreatment stop. Perhaps the therapist can be helpful in having a guardian ad litem appointed by the court to evaluate the situation.