Abused by my child

[christinechaos]

Hello, i am a 37 year old single parent of two boys, i was married to thier father who was mentally ill and i did not know it. He started abusing me a few years into the marriage and my sons witnessed it early on, i finally got out of the situation. I was left to fend for myself and two unstable boys, i have gone threw hell, i have had so much family therapy i could be a therapist myself, nothing changed, i have been involved with the legal system as well, nothing. I am now dealing with being abused  both mentally and physcially by both, more so the oldest boy who will be 16 at the end of this month (Feb.) He rules my household and i ca not take it much longer! He is mean and he is a bully who follows none of my rules, does no chores and eats everything that comes into the house, i have to hide food and money, he steals and also pushes his brother around...I am suffering so much, i feel like i will have a mental breakdown, i did no drugs at all during my pregnancy or during the birth of either or my children, they have both been on medication, the younger one is now on Litium, Respidol and Clonidine HCL I feel he would be okay if the other boy were not in the household, i don't know what to do....i could be here all day writing all the things that he has done....HELP!

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

You need the intervention of community agencies. One place to check is the local court system; they may have a provision called, in some jurisdictions, Child In Need of Services, which permits a parent to seek the suport of the court (and social service agencies) when a child is out of control in the home or otherwise not responding to the parents' authority. This is not the type of situation that will be managed by counseling or therapy alone.

[ticked]

i would kick the 16 year old out.  Its unfortunate but you cant do anything more.  He is going to do what he wants to do no matter what you say.  I remember growing up with a bunch of guys the same way and they never changed.  they are still like that to this day. Its okay to love your son but there is only so much abuse.  The disease is heriditary and the other son either has it or maybe still is tramatized by what he saw.  Some kids deal with things differently. I really feel for you, but he is 16 yrs old and if he cant respect you and your other son than he has to leave.  He will survive.