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Child Behavior (Expert Forum)
Aggession/Power Struggle
Answered by
Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D. - Child and Adolescent Psychotherapy, Family Therapy, Crisis Intervention
Harvard Vanguard Medical Associates
This forum is for questions and support regarding child behavior issues such: Child Discipline (behavior management), Normal Child Development, Parent-Child Communications, Social Development
Aggession/Power Struggle
by Linda, May 24, 2000 12:00AM
I am the mother of a 30 month old daughter. I have lately been very frustrated with her behavior towards me. She has been getting angry and hitting me or grabbing me and squeezing. I have been giving her time outs in her crib. We talk about the behavior, that it hurts Mommy when she does this and she always apologizes but she still continues to hit myself and my
husband. I'm not sure what to do to prevent this. It occurs under a lot of different circumstances. For example, she had just finished a bath and she wasn't happy about being removed from the tub. She refused to get dressed and began hitting. I then put her in her crib for a 2 minute time out. When I
returned she had urinated in her bed and proudly displayed it. I then left her in her crib for another time out. I returned and she had put her pillow in the urine and was standing on it. I might add here that by then I was angry and left her in her crib once again because I needed a time out. I then went back and removed her and got her dressed. How could I have handled this
better?
husband. I'm not sure what to do to prevent this. It occurs under a lot of different circumstances. For example, she had just finished a bath and she wasn't happy about being removed from the tub. She refused to get dressed and began hitting. I then put her in her crib for a 2 minute time out. When I
returned she had urinated in her bed and proudly displayed it. I then left her in her crib for another time out. I returned and she had put her pillow in the urine and was standing on it. I might add here that by then I was angry and left her in her crib once again because I needed a time out. I then went back and removed her and got her dressed. How could I have handled this
better?
Doctor's Answer
by Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D., May 25, 2000 12:00AM
, May 25, 2000 12:00AM
Dear Linda,
It sounds like you handled it fine - i.e., you employed reasonable discipline (time out) in the face of your daughter's behavior. The behavior while in the crib was a continuation of her anger.
Persist with the time out in the face of aggressive behavior. Over time, this will help. Don't get discouraged.
You also make a good point by recognizing that, at times, parents need an opportunity to calm down so we maintain our equanimity in the face of children's misbehavior.
It sounds like you handled it fine - i.e., you employed reasonable discipline (time out) in the face of your daughter's behavior. The behavior while in the crib was a continuation of her anger.
Persist with the time out in the face of aggressive behavior. Over time, this will help. Don't get discouraged.
You also make a good point by recognizing that, at times, parents need an opportunity to calm down so we maintain our equanimity in the face of children's misbehavior.
Member Comments (2)
by kimberly snow, May 31, 2000 12:00AM
consistant time outs are a great discipline tool, however, i was told never to use their bed as a punishment place, that it is where they are to feel secure to sleep, thus creating another problem of them not wanting to go to bed easily because to them, it is where they are punished....i think i explained that right...like they say you should never punish at the dinner table. i have a child chair located in a corner in the hallway, near nothing...boring....i tell my son he will have to go to the trouble chair if he continues and if he chooses to continue, i walk him there and sit him down, if he tries getting up, i just sit on the floor and ignore what ever he says or does, the more i do it the less i have to use it...i just remind him of it and he usually stops...(not always) but they get it after repeated sit downs.........hope this helped...kim
