Aggressive child

[stefanie]

My daughter is 6 years old and shows symptoms of ADHD, ODD and depression.  Her frustration tolerance is very low and when she loses her temper she becomes VERY violent, punching, kicking, biting, screaming, spitting...  She is always very remourseful at the end of an episode.  She also says she hates herself and wants to die.  I use positive reinforcement and I do not spank her.  During her rages, she does not listen to anything she refuses to talk about the anger episodes.  I am very afraid about her behavior. 2 days ago, she punched me in the eye giving me a black eye.  She is now having trouble in school, before it was only at home with me. She has not shown aggression at school but she is inattentive and constantly talks during class.
Her father and I have beendivorced for 4 years.  He had a very bad temper as well, but she did not see it.  I left him before she ever could.  I just really need some help.  We have seen a therapist and tried behavior mod and it has not helped and it has been 2 years.  I wonder if it could be neuroligical and if she may need medicine.  Thanks for you time.  I really need help!

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Dear Stefanie,

It may well be that your daughter does display a mood disorder (e.g., depressive disorder, bipolar disorder), and the positive family history lends some support to this. However, the symptoms you describe can also be attributed to the combination (ADHD, Oppositional Defiant Disorder)of Disruptive Behavior Disorders you mentioned. Additional evaluation may be required to pin down the diagnosis and to determine if medication (e.g., antidepressant) might be helpful. It is definitely worth considering, particularly since her problematic behavior is now extending into the school environment as well.

[Renee]

My daughter just turned 7 and displays the same problematic behavior as yours. I am at a loss as I feel that I have tried everything. I am very worried about her and her future. I need not write more as you already described her by describing your daughter.
My question to the doctor is whether heriditary factors could be responsible as there are psychiatric problems and disordersd on both sides of the family, and if it is a hereditary problem, what can I do for her beyond seeing a psychiatrist and putting her on medication?

[stefanie]

Thank you for your reply.  We have an appointment with a psychiatrist and another pediatrician to discuss the best options for her.  Tonight she was wonderful, so loving and caring.  I know it scares her when she loses control too. Thanks for your time and God bless you.

[Cindy]

Your daughter somewhat sums up our 9 year old son. Accept, he has never tempted to hit his dad or I. But, we have been fighting this problem for 3 years. He was diagnosed with ADHD when he was 6. And I sensed something was different, before they diagnosed him. Because, his tension span was short. And he seemed to not be able to get along with others even in preschool.
he is 9 now, and we are going through an awful time. I have very few people whom I can talk to, and understand a child as we have. he cusses, he says I hate You alot, and consistantly says shut-up to his dad and I. We do not spank either, it does more harm than good. We now are trying threating him, we will pull the N64 controllers, which he dearly enjoys 7 days a wee, if he gives us a hard time when doing homework, or telling us to shut-up. Just  started that N64 deal. We do turn the TV off when it is time to do homwork. but, when we work on homework, there is a point he gets frustrated, and will say I am nervous, I cannot do this, why are you so mean? And the I hate you and so on...
The 2nd phyciatrist we have seen recently, talked to us for about 2 hours with him in the room. And after orally examinging his intelliegence, he told us he is OCD also and PDD? Well gee whiz, I looked at him and said" another diagnoisis, and another drug I suppose?"
he said, well since we have him on 25 mg. of Luvox right now, we will up the dose to 50mg. at bedtime once a day, and we did this before, and our son was hateful and just not our son. We tried his suggestion of the 50mg. for a week, and my husband said, he is more hateful and his eyes are red and mean! So, I phoned the Dr. and of course left a message we are going back to 25 mg. he never returned my call. What a Dr? This Dr. also suggested try it for 3 or 4 weeks and see how it does. well 1 week was enough to live with trust me??
I wonder sometimes if his ADHD, is mistaken for some other disorders?
I need a behavior management program I believe, but do not know  where to find that? Our son does attend a private catholic school, so we do not have access to the extras as in a public school. but this was our choice.
Good luck with your daughter, they are hard to live with children, I know!