Agression in Preschool

My 3.5 yearold son is in a preschool/daycare and has been having behavioral issues on and off for the past 2years. He lashes out if he is angry or frustrated and has difficulty following group activities.  He was evaluted for early intervention and did not qualify for services and was also recently evaluated again and did not qualify. Cognitively he is doing great.But socially he isnt. I keep thinking that maybe the cognitive skills are learned at home and hes not getting much out of the school.  But the school has a really great reputation and seem to be lost when it comes to dealing with him. I have done everything they have asked and his behaviors dont seem to improve. I am being told that its at a point where he is  hurting teacher and needs to be constantly removed from the situation. We may be on the brink of being told to leave. Im so confused. I see some of what they describe at home but nowhere near the intensity they claim.  Isnt it their job to figure this out? I'm send him to school so that he can gain social skills.  Now they are suggesting an independant "behavioral psychologist" which we will have to cover...insurance doesnt. This is so distressing. I just dont want to have any more labels put on my son.  Any ideas?

[RockRose]

I think getting an independent behavioral psych would be a very good idea.  

It sounds like his behaviors are kind of on the extreme end,  and you need answers and help.

Best wishes.

[tiredbuthappy]

i agree with RockRose. since you say it's been a problem for over 2 years, i assume that he exhibits this behavior with different teachers. i have seen cases where some teachers and kids simply don't click and the child's behavior is exacerbated as a result. However, even with the best teacher that he is compatible with cannot resolve the underlying causes of his behaviors. it sounds to me like they have done everything within their power to help him. by referring him for early intervension, i am sure that they looked at the possibity of sensory integration disorders and i assume that they also looked for alternative ways to soothe him. (for example, with some aggressive children providing them with extra sensory activities such as sand and water play or playdough can actually have a calming effect). i am very concerned that he hits staff members. this is completely unacceptable. also, you say it's the school's job to teach him social skills. his problem doesn't lie in socializing, but rather managing his anger and frustration. i have worked with several children that show the tendancies you describe. some of them had incredibly low self-esteem, and this is what triggered their aggressive responses. all of these children were males, and all had older siblings. there was a lot that we tried to do to help them, but since a lot of the insecurities stemmed from the home situation, we couldn't help resolve all of their problems. another child was later diagnosed with sensory integration problems, and ended up going to a special program in his town which helped him tremendously. he was overwhelmed by stimulation, and this caused him to act out. other children we could not pinpoint the cause of their aggression.
don't worry about labels being put on your child. he needs some kind of help.

[Cleveland Mom]

I agree with getting him a psychological evaluation, his difficulties seem to be more along the lines of emotional and behavioral as oppossed to social.  You didn't state specifically what if any social difficulties he is having.  You mainly stated that he is aggressive and combative with staff.  Aspbergers is form of autism and to be diagnosed with it one would have to display significant, pervasive problems with social interaction and likely display "odd" behavior and repetitive behavior i.e. unusual facination with train schedules or automatic doors.  These individuals are not necessarily combative or aggressive.  There is so much buzz concerning autism awareness that alot of parents with young kiddos are very worried unecessarily that their child has autism.  Of course, it appears that autism is "on the rise" so we all need to be aware of the signs.

Please regard the strenghts your son does have, specifically you stated his cognitive skills he has are very good, that is a terrific strength to have.  The psychological eval. should be well worth the expense in that you will likely begin to understand the source(s) of his behavioral issues and get some solide direction to help him manage his behavior, some guidance on best preschool placement for him and the evaluator will help you to help the school to manage his behavior.   Best wishes...

[mjx]

try to visit this site http://www.besthealthoptions.com, ive learned a lot from it, it has great articles about child behavior. gud day!