Almost 4 yr old Girl Will not BM in Potty

[Bonnie710]

My daughter will be 4 in November and I've had her potty trained since early Spring of this year. She has made a few BM in the potty and did the very first one on her own. Her dad and I praised her everytime, but after that she wanted to go right back into the pull up. The three other times were by accident will peeing. I've tried everything from charts, to taking away the pull-ups, said all her friends do bm in the potty.  I have had her checked out by her Dr. and she tells me its all a controll issue. My daughter is very, very head strong. I have asked her why, and she tells me she's scared. I tell her not to be and that its o.k. to bm in the potty. She'll normally have a bm in the evening after her bath and puts on a pull up. I've tried several times to catch her and put her on the potty, but crying and screaming soon follow. I've tried to back off, but I just don't know what to do or when will it "click" with her. One other thing, we did have a serious constipation problem in the summer of 07' which required a visit to the ER for an enema. We worked through that, but I can't help to wonder if that experience is still in her head. Please help!!  

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Your daughter really has not been toilet trained. She is partially trained. The best thing to do is be patient and do not try to force the issue. It could be that painful bowel movements due to constipation has made her reticent, but at this point it doesn't matter. Just be casual and matter of fact, giving her a reward whenever she is successful. Also have her sit on the poyty several times each day. The key is to be patient and supportive.