Anger control!

[R.C]

My son is 12yrs old and in the 5th. grade. This is the 1st. year that we are having problems with him at home and at school.He is having outbust's of anger display's. He is saying things like nobody likes him, his teacher hates him and we hate him . IF we say something he doesn't like he will have to challenge you or he will get mad and start yelling and throwing a tantrum and start throwing things or yell that he wants to die.My son is a bit of over weight and the kids at school have been teasing him and calling him names. He says if he tells the teacher that he is the one that ends up in trouble.He has had many detentions and the teacher has spoke of suspending him.The teacher is at her witt's end and I am too!I have talked to the teacher and have seen this display of anger toward her.She has suggested that we check into some anger control class's. After he has these tantrums he will come back and tell me he was sorry.What do you think ? Is this part of his growing up and trying to adjust or do you think I need to seek medical attention for him.I am afraid if it gets any worse he may act on his threat's. I am not sure where to look for the medical attention that he may need.My insurance does not cover mental health.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Dear R.C.,

Definitely seek help for your son. I think it would be a mistake to regard this behavior as a normal development for his age, or to hope that the passage of time alone will be sufficient.

In most areas there are provisions for mental health care for children who are not covered by conventional private insurance. Check with your local city or municipal agencies, child guidance clinics, mental health centers, general hospitals, state child services agencies, etc. Also, ask your pediatrician or other health care professionals for some guidance re: referral to mental health services.

[John]

MY SON IS SEVEN YEARS OLD.LATELY HES BEEN GETTING IN TROUBLE IN   SCHOOL.HES BEEN VERY DISRESPECTFUL.IF YOU TELL HIM TO DO SOMETHING HE ACTS LIKE HE DOESN'T HEAR YOU,UNTIL YOU REPEAT THE SAME THING ABOUT 10 TIMES.ITS LIKE YOU HAVE TO RAISE YOUR VOICE BUT HE STILL WON,T RESPOND UNTIL A COUPLE MINUTES LATER.WHEN HE GETS IN TROUBLE IN SCHOOL I ASK WHY HE DID WHAT  HE DID,HE RESPONDS HE DIDN,T DO IT.WHEN YOU TELL HIM NO T.V HE HAS A FIT.THEN WHEN YOU LET HIM WATCH AND TELL HIM IT GOES OFF IN AN HOUR HE SCREAMS AND CRIES OFF THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS WHEN YOU SHUT IT OFF,IT'S LIKE I NEVER WIN.HE'S ALWAYS TRYING TO FOLLOW SOMEONE EELSE WHOSE ALWAYS BAD.

[REENA]

I also have a fifth grade boy, who acted in the same way. He is being treated for depression, possibly bi-polar, with tegretol and celexa. We have noticed a marked improvement in him. He also has co-morbid conditions, adhd-ld, and tourettes. He has been classified for a year now in school and is treated with respect and understanding of his problems and limitations. This has been a great help. You could approach your school for a child study (which will cost you nothing) and reveal a wealth of information. Possibly undetected learning disabilities etc. etc. Good luck to you and your family.

[l.yanez]

My son is 8 years old and has anger agression to the point that he hurt other kids and a teacher.Thru the school that my son attends,they referred him to the child guidence center.It has worked.He is now seeing a pyscologist,she diagnosed him as "depression".She says children show depression in other ways different from adults.He still has problems controling his anger,but he does not lash out like he use to.I hope you are able to get help.I know what you are going thru,and I know how heart breaking it can be for you.Please let me know in the future how your child is doing.