Anger issues and getting worse...Is this normal?

[Icysnowdrop]

my 13 year old has had tatrums and overeacted for most of her life, she tells me alot of (suicidle) things that go through her head. She told her father but he wont beleave her and i can't take her because i am ill and in bed...
What can I do to help her while she is at home and i am under the weather?

How can i stop her from getting these issues under control?

[Cleveland Mom]

Has she told you or your husband that she has plan for suicide i.e. taking large quantity of prescription medications or slashing her wrists.  If she has outline some kind of plan, is the plan realistic?  If there is a large supply of dangerous presciption meds. that she could easily access for example that would be a realistic plan.  If she states her plan is to down over the counter cough syrup until she passes out and dies, then she doesn't have a realistic plan

Risk for suicide is real when a person vocalizes a plan and when the plan is realistic.  If this is going on, then you need to get her immediate help.  

Otherwise, she may be seeking attention.  If she has gone to the length of threatening suicide to get attention, she likely needs professional evaluation, to find out whats really going on.  You need to help her as her parents develop emotional maturity and you may need guidance with this as she has a long history of difficulties.

[koukla29]

You need to take her to see a counselor.  This isn't just going to go away, and I think you should take suicidal thoughts very seriously.  If you cannot take her yourself, coordinate who can.  The point is, your daughter needs to see a therapist as soon as possible.  I don't take it lightly when I hear children talking about suicide.  Even if she is not suicidal, she is obviously very depressed and this is not good for her.  University counseling centers usually offer free counseling services to the community.  

[taysmommy]

i went through something similar when i was a kid (well 14) and it was a huge cry for attention, the fact that she is telling you these things means she is seeking someone who can help her with whatever shes going through, like everyone said this is nothing to joke around with, i cant imagine what i put my poor mother through, but i do know that i needed someone asap to help her,

for me therepy didnt magically cure me, it was a good resource that i was able to use to express myself, but what would have worked better (i think) would have been to have my mother step up and take action before i got so "lost"

be aware if you choose the therepy route, they are quick to medicate children these days, i was diagnosed with borderline peronality disorder and bipolar(which was wrong, i was perfectly fine, just a little depressed) and placed on paxil, it was the worst experience of my life, being put on medication so quickly (the evaluated me once, and then perscribed the paxil)

sit down and explain to your daughter that you are there for her, to talk, for anything, and that you will help her anyway you can, offer to find someone for her to talk to ( councelor )  and try to see whats bothering her, she might not open up to you but its worth a try,

and if this gets you no where then your going to have to seek help else where, because suicide is extremly serious (although chances are shes not really going to do it, but you never know, what if your wrong and she is seriously considering it)

[Icysnowdrop]

Well could this do anything with the past and futuer?

You see her biological  father(Andre) and I split up a year ago and now he is already engaged to this 24 year old and they already have a child....her first sister. Before the split up she has talked about this as often but now thats all she talks about.
I locked up all the meds and anything esle harmful and my son (16) says that she is throwing eveything around.

Could we have caused this?

[Cleveland Mom]

It is very difficult to say what caused your young dtr.'s problems.  If thier is a history of depression and/or other mental health issues in your family than that in part can explain at least in part the difficulties she is having.  Clearly, it is possible that the break-up of your marriage to her father along with the formation of his new family are contributing to her despair.

It is not normal behavior for anyone to think and talk about suicide the way your dtr. is.  You are in over your head with this situation, as any parent would be.  Get a professional evaluation.  Start by talking to your dtr.s doctor or your family doctor.  You should request a referral for a mental health professional to evaluate your dtr.  If you have health insurance, mental health services are generally covered. Don't wait, your dtr. needs help now.

[koukla29]

It sounds like there is a lot of change going on in your family, and she is having a difficult time dealing with it.  I believe taking her to a counselor will help her.  Please don't be influenced by one person's bad experience and believe that your daughter will not be helped by talking to a professional.  In addition, mental health professionals are not able to provide medications, so you could rest assured that she will not be medicated just because you take her to see a counselor.  Your daughter would have to see a psychiatrist in order to receive medication.

I personally have seen a lot of children who are suicidal and depressed.  It does not help to ignore the seriousness of their feelings, or feel that by sitting down and discussing it them, which I am assuming you have done and yet still haven't seen improvement, that the issue will resolve itself.  Good luck!  

[taysmommy]

i think it could have a lot to do with whats going on around her, in my situation i was being abused by my step father and no one would take me seriously, although this isnt the case with your DD i think what we had in common is that we needed to be taken seriously, maybe she needs her father right now, and feels alieanated from him (with the new wife and baby) for me i felt that my mom and step father had their "own" family and i was brushed aside, at this age its very important for her to know that she matters,

with the new separation of you and her father, children often begin to act out, she may feel like her life as she knew it is falling apart and wasnt ready for the change, she need time and definatly some TLC

i think its very smart of you to lock up the perscription meds, its becoming an epedemic with kids these days (i was one of them) be aware that shes probably very smart and can find ways to get them if she wants them bad enough, you sound like you taking some steps in the right direction so hopefully you and your family will be well and happy soon

take care