Angry 5 yrs old boy

My 5 yr old son's attitude has changed a lot since his dad and I separated.  He gets so angry at me and disobeys me almost on a daily basis.  Yet his father says he don't act like that when the kids are with him.  He argues with me constantly makes faces at me distroys stuff, throws stuff but never hits me.  I am at my wits end on what to do to get a handle on this situation.  I spank him when he gets out of control and I dont know if this makes it worse i'm afraid I will lose it some day and I don't want to hurt him but I am just frustated.  Does anyone have any advise or what may be going on with him as to why he is acting like this.  Please help I lvoe my son so much and want to help him so this doesn't happen when he gets older.

[RockRose]

This is an angry child of divorce.  If you could get back with your husband somehow,  this would end.

[ticked]

One I have learned with my own daughter spanking doesnt help it just makes it worse.  

Talk to him about his feelings. When he acts out tell him that there are consequences to his actions and give him the rules of the house.

For example, No back talk, being rude and if he breaks something
Tell him that there are consequences and you need to put your foot down and stay strong to that.

For example I find I threaten alot to my daughter and she doesnt listen sometimes because I dont stand firm at times because it could be the wrong time or for whatever reason I let it slide.  Big Mistake!  

Stand firm, take away something he loves if his behavior continues, if you are somewhere and he acts up, leave.  Tell him that you will no longer be taking him anywhere if he behaves the way he does

You are trying to be nice so he doesn't hate you or be mad at you.  Its hard being separated but the rules need to stand.  Kids need rules and they need you to be consistent.

I hope that helps some and dont worry a lot of parents are going through the same things you are and we do feel your pain :)

[AnnieBrooke]

Be sure you are not spanking him out of the double frustration of the issues of his behavior and the issues of the separation from his dad.  Given that there is a child in the mix who is hurting, I would redouble my efforts to try to get things back together in the marriage.  If it's not possible it's not possible, but I'd sure try hard.